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Ted Philips Dosen't Exist

"Sir,
Mystery Records is very much a "real" company.
we take great pride in our clients and their art,slander will not be tolerated on any level,we will come after you and bare no expense in doing so.
we employ the law firm of L.Londell Mcmillan,feel free to research and contact them if you need to,you will find that you do not have the resources it takes to fight Mystery Records.
you have been warned repeatedley by myself,Ted Philips,on behalf of our artist,Christian.
now is not the time to "get brave",sir.
we will keep a steady eye on you until this matter is resolved.
Ted Philips/Mystery Records"



Here's the thing, sparky.



You are not a client of L. Londell McMillan. You have never been, and aren't currently.


http://www.hwhpr.com/speakers_mcmillan.html

Big shot attorney. Wouldn't waste time with us little people, let alone anyone approaching the mediocrity of CHRISTIAN the wonder boy.

Here's a list of McMillan's current clients:

http://www.hwhpr.com/clients.html

Here's a list of all McMillan's past clients, A-Z:

http://www.hwhpr.com/clientlistingabc.html

May I direct your attention to the letter M:

http://www.hwhpr.com/clientlistingmno.html




So perhaps there's been some sort of mixup and your big shot lawyer lost your name in the rolodex. I'd give them a call Monday and sort them out. :rolleyes:



I've been training in the Dragon Cave with many a harsh lesson in internet combat!! Your BS skills are no match for the power of our BS skills!!
 

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SpaceBoy, Supercreep, I'm about to wet my pants from laughter!!! Hey, wait a minute.....can I sue if I do? I mean, that would be embarassing, and I think I should get $20,000,000 for pain and suffering. My lawyer, Beezer T. Pudwhacker, will contact you guys about the settlement. To be honest, I'd settle for a six pack of Obsidian Stout from each of you, but we'll see.....
On the next Judge Judy...
 
ooh ooh, i want a threatening PM from Mystery Records too!
 
Well, my attorney, who works for Dewey, Screwem, and Howe...will be waiting.
 
I don’t get this guy. He posts a song in the MP3 Mixing Clinic for people to listen to and comment on, then threatens everyone with a lawsuit. :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused:
 
timboZ said:
I don’t get this guy. He posts a song in the MP3 Mixing Clinic for people to listen to and comment on, then threatens everyone with a lawsuit. :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused:

That's the genius of it.:)
 
Supercreep said:
Yes,Our Base Is In Ireland.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sir,
good job,you have located us,now you may understand the severity of the situation.
we cannot/will not,allow an artist of ours to be slandered,anywhere,anytime,any place.
we are always watching for these things.
consider your time on this bbs to be short-lived.
thank you.
Ted Philips




Ted -




All your base are belong to us.

And this, buttface, is America. LAND OF THE FREE! We are posting in a public forum and are entitled to our opinions whether you like it or not. Does Behringer come after us because we say that a piece of their gear is shit? No. Because they are smart enough to know that they can't do a thing about a person's opinion. You are such an idiot. You come invading our public forum and post spam to try to get some publicity for your pet. So, you weren't welcomed with open arms. So what? Learn from your mistakes, buttwipe. Now just go away. Don't go away mad. Just go the fuck away! You're fake attorney's can't touch us. If you were even halfway intelligent you would already know that. But then, if you were halfway intelligent you wouldn't be wasting your time on no-talent-wannabes.

And by the way:

Eminem sucks.

Michael Jackson sucks.

and about a half million others I could waste time on but won't. Now let's see their lawyers come after me.
 
It's a mystery to me...............................................
 
Sir, my name is Adolphe Dickler. I represent Hector Behringer. I suggest you cease and desist and all that crap before I throw a sissy-fit and pee my pants. Now quit it!
 
He's baaaaaaaaaack. Wow! this dude has management, lawyers, all because of one song. Pretty funny.
 
RAMI said:
Sir, my name is Adolphe Dickler. I represent Hector Behringer. I suggest you cease and desist and all that crap before I throw a sissy-fit and pee my pants. Now quit it!

hahahahahahahaha
 
RAMI said:
He's baaaaaaaaaack. Wow! this dude has management, lawyers, all because of one song. Pretty funny.

Mystery Records Presents Christian...

But it then says "label: unsigned".
 
Supercreep said:
"Sir,
Mystery Records is very much a "real" company.
we take great pride in our clients and their art,slander will not be tolerated on any level,we will come after you and bare no expense in doing so.
we employ the law firm of L.Londell Mcmillan,feel free to research and contact them if you need to,you will find that you do not have the resources it takes to fight Mystery Records.
you have been warned repeatedley by myself,Ted Philips,on behalf of our artist,Christian.
now is not the time to "get brave",sir.
we will keep a steady eye on you until this matter is resolved.
Ted Philips/Mystery Records"



Oh man, I gotta get a piece of this action! :D :D
This statement "we will come after you..." is an implied threat. Attorneys know better than to spew a weak-worded threat like this. It reminds me of that SPAM I got a few years ago from a "lawyer" telling me to send the e-mail to as many friends as possible because Microsoft was trying to spread the word about this or that and they would send me a check in the mail for doing so...the text went something like 'and this is not a scam...I am a lawyer, and I know the law." :D :D :D
Shit man, this stuff is GOLD! I don't like to be mean to people, but...alright, yeah I do.
HEY MYSTERY RECORDS,
You shitwads want to come after me too? BTW, that was slander. Look out, I believe another one is coming right...here, you PIGFUCKER!! Let's throw a little false allegation into this omelette, shall we? CHRISTIAN fucks barnyard animals!!! MYSTERY RECORDS stiffs clients for money and routinely violates posted copyright laws!!
TED PHILIPS eats rabbit testicles for breakfast and sniffs the farts for dessert. TED also gets jammed in the poopshoot by his father on a bi-weekly basis. I proclaim this to be fact, here and now.
MYSTERY RECORDS...ok, raggy. Rets ret into da Mystery ran, now. Eee, hee, heee, hee, heee. Zoiks! Scoob, I don't think there is such a thing! Guess it was just our imagination.

Alright MYSTERY RECORD ATTORNEYS or TED PHILIPS (John Doe), come at me beotch.
Oh, and for the record, you did claim to be a legal attorney in the United States, did you not? If it weren't for the anonymous nature of this thread, I would probably file a state claim against your ass for false representation or intent to practice without a license, little Christian.

What do you think...Christian is about 16 years old or so? Has to be young with all the ignorance he is trying to shovel out and expect people to REALLY believe. This is a GREAT THREAD!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D
 
Something very amusing just occurred to me...Notice how this guy keeps referring to PISS ? I think he may have a Golden Shower fetish.
Well, if sooooooooooo...Let me steer you in the right direction.

Frau Spankenheimer presents...
 

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I feel left out. :(


Dear Mr Philips,

Your artist Christian is clearly a very talented individual. However, I would suggest that this talent is not in the field of music, but in the field of pretending to Mr Ted Philips of Mysteriously Nonexistent Records. Could I also request that shit music is not posted in this forum by you from now on, because I have some new songs that I'll need help with. Too many crap song chefs spoil the forum broth!

Many slanderous regards,

Senor Noisedude, Esq.
 
He's getting boring. I just recieved another private message. I didn't even have the attention span to read more that the first sentence. He needs major therapy. And I don't think one shrink can help him. He needs a team...He needs to go to,like, Vienna or something.
 
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