Jan~ Feb Challenge: contributions in here

[gecko zzed]

See the contributions as they appear below.

The contributions are:

Words ~ Music
Captbz13 ~ NYMorningstar (posted)
Cnix ~ Strat1958 (posted)
Commanda ~ Upfiddler (posted)
Gecko Zzed ~ LouisV (posted)
LouisV ~ Commanda (posted)
Manslick ~ Cnix (posted)
NYMorningstar ~ Gecko Zzed (posted)
Strat1959 ~ Captbz13 (posted)
Upfiddler ~ Manslick (posted)


Contributors: add to this thread when you are done.

Anybody: feel free to comment at will.

 

[gecko zzed]

LouisV's song with Gecko Zzed's lyrics

See the quote:

lyrics by Gecko Zzed.

Click here to listen On Purevolume.

Café Innocenté.......................................................Translation

Intro
yes..

verse 1
'There is no harm in that,' you said,
"A coffee in a public place,
Where chance encounter is just fine
And not a fall from grace"

verse 2
So I found a seat and counted time
And watched the clock upon the town hall wall
Son aiguille des minutes hésitait..............................(Its minute hand bounced haltingly)
Around its Roman numerals

Chorus
En-dessous du regard stricte.................................(Beneath the glare of righteousness)
Beneath a parasol somewhere
Beneath the heat of curiosity
I felt your probing stare

verse 3
tu as mit ton sac sur le banc.................................(You placed your bag on the chair)
Rusty grey and white
tes cheveux emmêlée par le vent...........................(Your hair in wind-tangled disarray)
But still you looked alright

Bridge
And I re-affirmed my fond belief,
I've felt this for some time
Ce Café Innocenté
Exists only in one's mind

Chorus
En-dessous du regard stricte................................(Beneath the glare of righteousness)
Beneath a parasol somewhere
Beneath the heat of curiosity
I felt your probing stare

verse 5
And only once did I look up
To catch the charcoal in your eye
Just one quick glance was quite enough
C'est consumer pour me dire bye...........................(That smoulder left me dry)

verse 6
I thought that if I raised my eyes
Just one more time
The embers there would flare to life
The answer would be the first line

 

[gecko zzed]

Gecko Zzed's song with NYMorningstar's lyrics

Link to the MP3:

http://www.box.net/shared/npovouukzi

Lyrics:

Misunderstanding (NYMorningstar)

I can cool your heals and leave you stranded
My little miss understandin
You can sense the hit but don't trust this
My little miss understandin?

Chorus:
Why do you see me like this
I'm not the one that's on your list
Gotta be misunderstanding

I'm as hot as the sun but I don't give ya none
a little misundertandin
When you thirst for lust I'm just a bust
I'm a little misunderstandin

Chorus:

Bridge:
I try so hard to get it right
sometimes it keeps me up all night
If I go away for another day
Will you be there and promise to stay?

Chorus:

Now don't go away, here what I say
I'm walking out here on the landing
Don't leave me alone you will take me on home
my little misunderstanding?

 

[commanda]

http://www.box.net/shared/tsj4y9v6to

Vocals are even crappier than my normal vocals, as I've had a raging throat infection for weeks. Even on a good day, I'm still trying to figure out how to record my vocals to be passable. Acoustic guitar gets twangy & buzzy in a couple of spots. And yes, the ending IS meant to be that way.

Here's LouisV's slightly edited lyrics.

[Chorus]
Where are you?
End this thing now
Are you there
Reunite us now
Or end this thing now

[Fill 4 bars]

[Verse 1]
Maybe you don't get it
I can explain it yeah
So no one gets confused
Under, above, abused
No way you got that
Day after day and more
Never gonna find this thing
God, are you misunderstanding

[Chorus]
Where are you?
End this thing now
Are you there
Reunite us now
Or end this thing now

[Bridge // guitar solo 8 bars]

[Chorus]
Where are you?
End this thing now
Are you there
Reunite us now
Or end this thing now

[Fill 4 bars]

[Verse 2]
Statue that knows my quest well
Thanks and farewell
And caught up in her spell
No one sees a fairy tell
Long dead and gone girl
I'm traveling around the world
Never gonna find this thing
God, am i misunderstanding

[Chorus]
Where are you?
End this thing now
Are you there
Reunite us now
Or end this thing now

Or end this thing now
Or end this thing now
Or end this thing now

 

[gecko zzed]

Thanks for posting your contribution, Commanda. I've downloaded it and I will make some comments and observations when I get the chance.

Now, for the others . . . there's about ten days left, so get to work!

 

[NYMorningstar]

Great job guys. I hope to finish soon. Gecko zzed, you're too good. The misses says YAHOO! but understand she's from Texas

 

[louisv]

http://www.box.net/shared/tsj4y9v6to

Vocals are even crappier than my normal vocals, as I've had a raging throat infection for weeks. Even on a good day, I'm still trying to figure out how to record my vocals to be passable. Acoustic guitar gets twangy & buzzy in a couple of spots. And yes, the ending IS meant to be that way.

Whoa the song sounds great! thanks for taking time to record it.
And i've never heard nothing like it. that songs is definitely going on my ipod.

 

[captbz13]

My Submission

Ok here is my submission, link at bottom. Let me preface this by saying I am not a vocalist (though I tried as hard as I could), this is my first completely written song (minus lyrics of course) and first full recording. I could probably polish it up some more but I barely had the time to do all of the instruments, let alone do them again. With that said, I submit the following for your listening "pleasure"...Please be gentle

Not What I Meant - Strat1958

V1
Well we talked and we talked
Till we were blue in the face
Looked like we were getting somewhere

Sometimes close, sometimes far
Givin each other space
Workin hard to clear the air

CH
Then I sent you the note
Never had too much time
Thought I could get it all in two little lines
You took it so that I was only wanting to vent
But baby how you took it
Was not what I meant

V2
Email and text
Might get the point across
But the meaning gets lost on the way

Words on a page
No eyes, voice or hands
I could have just called you that day

CH
But I sent you the note
Never had too much time
Thought I could get it all in two little lines
What I attempted to say, got tragically bent
Cause baby how you took it
Was not what I meant


http://soundclick.com/share?songid=8799264

 

[commanda]

Please be patient!

This download hasn't been cleared yet. Please check back tomorrow.

WTF?

UPDATE: My browser won't talk to my audio system, so I can't play anything directly.
I do, however, have the download helper installed. So I can click on play, then download. Which I did.

Nice guitar. Vocals need work. Good first attempt.

 

[gecko zzed]

Ok here is my submission, link at bottom. Let me preface this by saying I am not a vocalist (though I tried as hard as I could), this is my first completely written song (minus lyrics of course) and first full recording. I could probably polish it up some more but I barely had the time to do all of the instruments, let alone do them again. With that said, I submit the following for your listening "pleasure"...Please be gentle

Thanks for being brave enough to contribute, Bill! As you observed, you are not a vocalist, so I haven't worried too much about the quality of singing.

Nevertheless, I think this could scrub up to be a very fine song. It has a fair essence of Tom Petty in there. If you were to clean the recording up and get someone in to do the vocals for you, I think this could turn out to be a pretty good track . . the musical ideas are all there . . . they just need to be tamed and harnessed.

 

[gecko zzed]

http://www.box.net/shared/tsj4y9v6to

Vocals are even crappier than my normal vocals, as I've had a raging throat infection for weeks. Even on a good day, I'm still trying to figure out how to record my vocals to be passable. Acoustic guitar gets twangy & buzzy in a couple of spots. And yes, the ending IS meant to be that way.

This is a very interesting track. I particularly like the chorus and the assorted musical interjections and their chord structure.

I wasn't too keen on the verse structure, which I found to be too predictable (for my taste). There is also some uncertainty about the pitching of the last line in the verse: "God, am i misunderstanding".

There is a general haunting atmosphere that I like (for example the synth following the vocal in the chorus).

Were I to tackle this, I would rework the instrumentation a bit: move away from the relentless 12/8 on the hats, give the bass a bit more life, and add variety to the voice pad in the background.

 

[Strat1958]

Ok here is my submission, link at bottom. Let me preface this by saying I am not a vocalist (though I tried as hard as I could), this is my first completely written song (minus lyrics of course) and first full recording. I could probably polish it up some more but I barely had the time to do all of the instruments, let alone do them again. With that said, I submit the following for your listening "pleasure"...Please be gentle

I really like the structure and melody of the song, Bill - thanks for recording it! I wonder if you'd mind either emailing me the backing track or posting it to Soundclick without the vocals... I'd like to take a run at putting a vocal track on it myself! With full credit to you as co-writer, of course.

Thanks again.

-Mike

 

[captbz13]

I really like the structure and melody of the song, Bill - thanks for recording it! I wonder if you'd mind either emailing me the backing track or posting it to Soundclick without the vocals... I'd like to take a run at putting a vocal track on it myself! With full credit to you as co-writer, of course.

Thanks again.

-Mike

It was a fun project to do, thanks for the lyrics.

Absolutely, I'd like to hear what this sounds like with some actual vocal talent. I'll get the track together when I get home tonight. Email works better if its ok with you

Do you want all the instrumentation in one file or separate files for each instrument for level adjusting (4 total)? I'd offer individual tracks but it came out to 13 total.

I plan on keeping this as an ongoing project when I get more time. I might ask for the vocal track when your done for when I update my recordings.

 

[commanda]

This is a very interesting track. I particularly like the chorus and the assorted musical interjections and their chord structure.

I wasn't too keen on the verse structure, which I found to be too predictable (for my taste). There is also some uncertainty about the pitching of the last line in the verse: "God, am i misunderstanding".

There is a general haunting atmosphere that I like (for example the synth following the vocal in the chorus).

Were I to tackle this, I would rework the instrumentation a bit: move away from the relentless 12/8 on the hats, give the bass a bit more life, and add variety to the voice pad in the background.

The last line of the verse was a major problem for me vocally. The intention was that it would be a long drawn-out thing, but I just couldn't pull it off. Might reload the 4 tracker and see if I can do a punch-in on just this bit.

Happy that I pulled off the haunting atmosphere thing.

My drumming is definitely a known weak spot. I just used a pre-defined groove without editing it at all. Still looking for an online tutorial "rock drumming for midi songwriters". Maybe I should just get some real drumming lessons.

As an aside, we'll have to start another thread for the contestants to upload their own rendition of their song. Or maybe I'm the only one who has recorded their own song?

 

[gecko zzed]

As an aside, we'll have to start another thread for the contestants to upload their own rendition of their song. Or maybe I'm the only one who has recorded their own song?

That is a great idea. That could be the March challenge, if everyone is agreeable.

We would then get to hear how the lyrics might have orignally been set.

However, with my contribution, though I had some lyrics, I have no musical idea at all for them . . . so I'll have to get to some serious work.

 

[cnix]

Sounds good. I had planned to record my version all along, have the cord chart and melody done, just have not started recording it yet. My entry for the current challenge is just about complete and should post by the weekend if not sooner.

Enjoying the results posted from the challenge so far, both lyrics and music!

Charlie

 

[captbz13]

As an aside, we'll have to start another thread for the contestants to upload their own rendition of their song. Or maybe I'm the only one who has recorded their own song?

I haven't done this but was planning on working on it. I have a rough guitar part written but had to stop it's development to record for the challenge. I think it would be interesting to know what people had in their heads when they wrote their lyrics.

As for the drums. Try switching beats or at least switch the driving cymbals (hi-hat to ride or reverse) when you change to the chorus. Also try a short 2 beat fill with a triplet feel into chorus or verses.

If I was playing this I wouldn't have the same beat for the whole song and would try to switch it up to slightly change the dynamic. I also think 8th notes on the cymbals with a slight shuffle hit on "a4" would fit, so it would look like this:

1 + 2 + 3 + a4 +

Where a4 is the last two beats of a triplet.

Just a suggestion, injecting my own drumming style.

I have no experience with MIDI drums so I don't know how difficult this is.

 

[NYMorningstar]

NYMorningstars song with Captbz13's lyrics

Great fun, good experience!

Link:

Lyrics:
Shut the light
I can't look at you
Anger in her voice
another fight

Please Don't yell
I tried to explain
My words fall short
her tears start to well

pre c

I didn't mean what i said
But it came out anyway
maybe when morning comes
I'll know what to say

C

It's not right
It's not fair (alt. That's not me)
I'm sorry for
what i did to you

Why can't you ever just
listen to me

one more night
one more chance
Let me make this
better baby

Please understand me

v2

This empty place
echoing silence
since you ran out
With tears on your face

Nowhere to hide
From haunting feelings
Failed to fix it all
Though i tried...i know i tried

pre c

I didn't mean what i said
But it came out anyway
maybe when morning comes
I'll know what to say


B

I never think, you should have listened
I didn't lie, my heart is broken
I cannot take all the tension
You can't fix it anymore

I promise you I'll change our future
You couldn't even save our past
Give me time to explain this
Please Just let go of that door


C

It's not right
It's not fair (alt. That's not me)
I'm sorry for
what i did to you

Why can't you ever just
listen to me

one more night
one more chance
Let me make this
better baby

 

[up-fiddler]

up-fiddlers version of Commanda's Lyrics

Click here for link

OK....Please accept my sincere apologies for not putting my normal effort into this project. I simply ran out of time by the time I got the studio back up and running. I especially feel bad for Commanda who put her heart into these lyrics and then had them not treated with equal dignity. I owe you girl.

Anyhooooooo..... The idea of "Ma'am" simply begged for a C/W treatment so that's what I did. The mp3 version doesn't carry the bass well (As usual!) but in the studio this baby peels paint off the walls. I also changed the lyrics and treated them in the third person so that I could sing it, although I did give thought to leaving them and having a lady that I have worked with in the studio come in and sing them. Her schedule and mine didn't coincide though. Everything is one take with no effects whatsoever. I did a bit of leveling in Wavelab and then threw it up on the net. Here are the changed (slightly) lyrics for those of you who want to follow along at home. Cheers, up-fiddler aka Dave Morehouse

(verse 1)
Pretty as such we know she’s not
She don't really give a damn
Is it really asking all that much
When she asks for us to call her ma'am

(chorus)
Flowers are pretty
Music's like wine
Why does this happen all of the time
Life is so shitty
Waters like brine
Why does this happen all of the time

Ugly as sin when she’s trying too hard
A classic case of less is more
Dressed to kill and badly done
And she ends up being a whore
chs

She’d write us a book if she thought it would help
Or maybe draw us a diagram
Is it really asking all that much
When she asks for us to call her ma'am

chs

 

[commanda]

Hey Dave,

Pretty good for a slap-up job. Was wondering how you'd handle the lyrics.
Nice touch with the ending.
Any chance you could pm me the wav file? Or I could pm you an email address?