I am not in the same boat. I never worry and I never feel pressure. Somehow, someway, something or someone or some circumstance, such as winding up in prison, has come to the rescue and I learned long ago not worry, things will take care of themselves. Then again, I can be pretty resourceful.
Wow that's a rough upbringing and early adult life brother...
I only spent a single night in jail in my life and that was more than I wanted. Man I had some jailhouse conversations with this entity we call God that night and day. I was 19 and was charged and arrested for felony possession of Pot and Hash oil in 1972.. I spent that day in the courthouse in a holding tank with at least 40 other well rounded and polite citizens of Los Angeles, all innocent of the heinous crimes they were being accused of ...holy shit. I was scared shitless. Long haired hippie type, they're going to LOVE you in county jail...FUCK! Got released on my own recognizance, hired a good lawyer and got it all dropped to a misdemeanor and got diversion and probation...whew!
I pulled #228 in the draft lottery so I didn't have to go. One friend of mine pulled number 8...he went but we were deescalating by then so he didn't have to go to Vietnam.
Sometimes it's hard not to freak out ...least for me and I'm a pretty level headed cat. Turning off the what might happen shit is not easy for some. My wife refers to it as borrowing worry...she doesn't have time for it...or so she says.
Life is a strange journey.
You mentioned the Great gig in sky and it not meaning much to you because you don't believe in life after death....
The title can be construed about what may possibly come when we expire but the lyrics tell a different story
And I am not frightened of dying
Any time will do, I don't mind
Why should I be frightened of dying?
There's no reason for it, you've gotta go sometime
If you can hear this whispering you are dying
In other words from the instant we are born we are on our journey to death .. If you are reading this, you are slowly dying. Nanook sat on his pondering rock 10,000+ years ago looking out into space all sad because his favorite dog "Wolf" had died. He pondered the significance of it all. How did this come to be? Did the spirit, the energy within in that loving carbon based creature that I called Wolf just expire like his lifeless body did? Or did the energy go somewhere? Hmmm? Well being a very smart caveman he had a premonition that someday one of his future descendants would come up with this equation. E = mc2. Yep the law of Conservation of Mass-Energy: the total amount of mass and energy in the universe is constant. “Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another.” He has an epiphany that there is more to this deal than meets the eye...And he shared this epiphany with his friends and family and the story got told and retold 10's of thousands of times ..and like in the game of telegraph what was first told evolved into a myriad of stories on what MIGHT happen when we expire. Perhaps we all meet again in the sky above and if you're a musician maybe get a gig playing on the edge of some cloud out there with your favorite musician friends.
Now me I have a wish, a want, a hope and a strong suspicion that this life experience is just a little blip on the screen in the process of this experience we call life. Of course a HUGE part of that wish, want and hope is to get to see the friends and loved ones that have already split this scene. All I can do is hope ...and pray...well that's what Nanooks various sects of story tellers call it. Yeah I talk to God as I understand him and most times he answers in the strangest and most miraculous ways. Man I feel him in my soul, my heart...it's weird and maybe it's just "me" comforting me. But the coincidences, the God winks that have occurred throughout my life make that a hard one for me to believe. I was in church once and this Catholic Indian priest quoted Saint John. He prefaced it with "some of you may be able to do this, some of you may not, it is similar to meditation. Saint John said the purest form of prayer is not with words, but rather to gaze into God". Yep no words just one on one, let the energy flow. I definitely am a man of gratitude to whatever it is that allowed this all to be and the ride I've gotten to take. The eye and ear candy I've been blessed with...and the price of admission for all of that is aches and pains and heartache that come with all of it...so no anger or why me bullshit..all part of the package.
Energy=Life. Without energy there is no life. Thus Life is not created nor can it be destroyed. What exactly happens to the energy within these tattered and torn carbon based units when they wear out and expire goes that is the gazillion dollar question. Many will expound upon Nanooks theory and many will say when you're dead you're dead and then there are many like me that will sit on a rock metaphorically speaking next to Nanook, stare up at the the stars above in awe and wonder and enjoy the ride.
You are right about this "things will take care of themselves"
In AA they have a ton of clever sayings about living life on life's terms... This one is similar to your quote.
It will all work out in the end. If it hasn't worked out it isn't the end,
Have a great Sunday!
Tomco
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