"The Noise" fixed up some...maybe

[Jessica_X]

https://soundcloud.com/jessicazin/the-noise-revised

I am pretty new to this, so I appreciate any feedback.

Last time I posted, a lot of people said the chorus needed background music so I added that.
I still don't like the stomp sound either. I spent some time looking for another sample and messing around with the one I had, and I couldn't get it to sound any better. Not sure what to do about that.

I tried doing some EQ on my voice and on a few other things.
Thank you if you can take the time to give me some more pointers. I know I have a long way to go.


Here are the lyrics:

The Noise

Chorus
The bell
The bull
The line
The walk

The bell
The bull
The line
The walk

The yard
The bull
The line
The walk

The noise
The noise
The noise

Verse 1
Well your friends forget
And your mother cries
And your girl gives up
And your father dies

And the days drag on
But the years race by
In a worn steel mirror
Are a younger man’s eyes

Chorus

Verse 2
Saturday morning
Plexiglass
Your boy grew up
In stop action

Flowers bloomed
And flowers died
With a spinning sun
And a strobe light sky

Chorus

Verse 3
Well the record skipped
In mid drum roll
Yeah the stitches hurt
When the needle’s cold

And you start alone
And you leave alone
I’ll have lots to say
In the exit poll

Chorus

 

[gecko zzed]

Very few criticisms from me. It's unusual, quirky and engaging.

Stomp sounds fine to me . . . it is an interesting sound.

Two things that you might like to think about.

1 The background noise at the start . . . maybe you could let it disappear more gradually . . . it's just a bit abrupt.

2 The radio sound during the verses is a bit strident . . . maybe make it less so . . . or drop its level a bit.

One other thing (which is not a mixing thing) is maybe at the end of the song, instead of the stomp religiously hitting beat 1, you could screw with people's minds by occasionally changing where it hits.

 

[Jessica_X]

Thank you. I did try to make the fade out gradual, I'll take another listen and try to make it more so. Yeah the "telephone" voice is a bit ugly sounding. It's a preset. I'll have to see how I can tweak the preset and see if I like it better after.

Your last point is an interesting idea but I don't think I will do that. I think it would be too much, too distracting since that is the only part where you can kind of understand the words of the added vocals in the outro.

Thanks for the advice and encouragement!

I'll be interested if others can weigh in on this stomp sound.

 

[rayc]

I reckon the "stop" could be tighter - it's boomy & wide - maybe some heavy compression & a nip in the boomier freqs. Throwing in a few alternate beats in Mannerist style would be interesting though not necessary.
The vocal processing in the verses work well enough. I did think whilst listening the 2nd time that it may be interesting, in line with Gek's ide, to pan the voice to a side occasionally just to defeat expectations & to throw a delay on the Noise so that it tripped over it's repeat a little.
Interesting update of Revolution #9 in some respects.

 

[saads]

The abrupt changes really stick out. If you don't want to fade in/out, maybe put in a crash cymbal or something to make the abrupt transition sound intentional. I would maybe lower the main vocals a tiny bit, and raise the bass a tiny bit. The stomp sounds good, but like rayc said, it sounds a little boomy right now. Try to make it sound more like a kick drum. Otherwise, I think the song is pretty cool, it's definitely catchy.

 

[gecko zzed]

The stomp sounds good, but like rayc said, it sounds a little boomy right now. Try to make it sound more like a kick drum.

The thing is, I like the way the stomp sounds because it doesn't sound like a kick.

 

[saads]

The thing is, I like the way the stomp sounds because it doesn't sound like a kick.

I get that. What I meant was, it would sound better a little tighter. Or at least with a little more low end. The stomp is what's driving the beat, I feel it should be more solid.

 

[Jessica_X]

Thank you very much ray, saads, and gecko. I appreciate the thought you put into this.
I will experiment with "tightening" the stomp and see if I think it sounds better or worse that way. (Of course first I'll have to google what that means, doh.) The transitions being abrupt are something that may be a weakness in this song...I added the background music to try to offset this. I will think about this some more. I will probably take a few days off and work on something else then come back to this one.