Song Critique - Rock/Pop

  • Thread starter Thread starter dsynthuhsize
  • Start date Start date
Hey Ben, if you need a little help with the drums, let me know (and check your private messages, I left one for you). :)
 
dsynthuhsize said:
Would you consider this a hit song?
Click to expand...

I won't comment on the mix aspect - others have done so already. But to get to your question as to the song itself, in my own humble opinion, and I'm no expert, I'd say almost there. Coming in at a shade under 5 minutes, it's way too long. My own suggestion if you want to go hit song category is to cut the acoustic part from around 2:58 to about 3:40. That'll drop about 45 seconds, plus, that part of the song doesn't quite fit as much. Artistically, I appreciate it's place in the song, but to go "hit" I think you can drop it. Plus, I think it cuts into the vibe of the song a bit too much - takes you down for too long. I'd also cut out a few of the repetitions at the end to shave off a bit more time.

Other than that, I love it. I think it's an awesome song. Frankly, and no disrespect to anyone else on the board, it's the first time I've listened to a "how's my song" posting here and came away thinking that the person's song is light years ahead of what I've done. That's not to say that I think I'm better than anyone else (hey, I haven't posted mine up yet for review), or that I haven't heard wonderful stuff posted here, because I have.

But this one I think is special.

Again, just my humble opinon, FWIW.
 
not gonna talk about the recording quality..just the song:

well its a good song... I wouldnt call it a hit though. If it was mastered, mass produced, and distributed via Universal etc... I hate to be brutal but it may not do that great. However it would be a great second release If you had a better first song. If the first song broke the top 10 this one would have the potential to do the same.

Not to take anything away, it came out petty good and might work as a good demo for a talent agent. I say it would be a good demo, even if its not a great first release, because it shows your bands versatility and creativity and willingness to work hard (home recording = not easy)...all things an agent looks for in a new group.

hell toss it up on myspace.com and see what others think.

On vocal quality (something I have a lot of experiance with) id say your lead singer has a good emo/punkish voice comparable to Simple Plan, Story of the Year, and Yellow Card. I did notice a few blemishes, but no big deal. If your singer wants to get rid of them tell him to try lemon water before singing... it tightens the vocal chords and gets rid of some rough spots that will show up in a recording.


and now after reading the above post i agree with monsoon.
 
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NEW VERSION (listen for NEW scream, harder part 2:25)



WOW!! That some of the best critiques I have ever recieved. Thank you very much, everyone.

Mallcore, Shookie:
In the latest version, I completetly re-eqed the kick and bass.

Mallcore:
Thanks, How should I mix it down? MP3 straight out?

Chris: Reduced the lowish mids in the guitar, sounds AWESOME, as you can hear.

Finally, Monsoon & D-ragon:
Monsoon, wow, that was a freaking encouraging comment. I definitely hear you on the length. If we get signed, we will take that up with the big boys :)

D-ragon:

I kinda pride myself on having a good ear, and I agree with you there. I think the chorus has hit potential, but not huge, and the verse is a little hard hitting for mainstream. Would you agree? As for your ear to my voice, thank you, I definitely will do that lemon juice thing. May I ask how you have come to aqquire that knowledge and the vocal experience?

To everyone:

Thanks! And please keep commenting!


< ben >
www.arvismusic.com
www.purevolume.com/arvis
 
Pretty cool! Try a delay at 2:30, to reinforce the scream after the reverse fade-in. I left you another pm, so I don't start clogging up your thread. :)

Joe
 
Sounds good...

I like the frequency you pulled up in the kick a lot better but I definitely could stand to hear the kick a little more.

All things considered....
the song is great and I have to say I like it more and more everytime I hear it.

really good song - looking forward to hearing more.
 
dsynthuhsize said:
Would you consider this a hit song? Or not quite there? If you don't really like this style of music (green day, good charlotte, simple plan) then I understand, but if you do, would you consider this a hit song.

Thanks,

Ben
Click to expand...

Personally, I'd say it's not far off, either. Very "top-40" ish in my opinion. You guys did a good job with this. One thing I think - the electric guitar (distorted) sounds a bit thin. Could very well be my crappy computer speakers. Maybe that's the sound you wanted, too. I just think it would sound cooler with a little more balls in the guitar.

Nice singing, by the way. Impressive. Good luck in the future to you.
 
I really am not qualified to comment mix wise, other than it sounds good through my POS headphones here at work. Music wise, it is not my cup of tea, BUT, you guys sound as good as the groups i hear on the radio: Sum 41, Good Charlotte etc. If thats what you are going for, then you are dead on.


Amra
 
um WOW

this is the best song I have ever heard on this message board. (But i must add i havent listened to a TON of songs on here)

it was kind of fuzzy though, dont know if that has anything to do with the speakers on this new laptop
 
Thanks man-

If you want to hear my more recent (and simple) stuff-

myspace.com/annondale

I just bought a couple of new things for my studio, and I am getting ready to relocate due to katrina, once I get my studio re-done, I will be back.

Thanks,
 
This is very modern and a great demo. Please keep writing songs this good.
 
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