I wont comment on the mix as youre not asking for that
But i liked it for what it was...it sounds like a section of a bigger picture...just a sketch at the moment
I could hear this shorten as the first section before dropping into something spacier, more ambient
I liked the mood, it was off key and a bit creepy...some weird samples running through it would maybe make it even creepier
Keep at it...this is the place for any type of music, what people lack in similar taste they make up for in talent, good ears...and brutal honesty lol