I am not particularly fond of the term "gaslighting", seems overly used trendy bullshit term most who use it have jackshit clue what it even means. Having offered my opinion on that....
The wife and I sold the house at the beach and moved to a property out in the country. While I (do) will miss he beach, it's beautiful here, I love it. Acreage, partially wooded, partially cleared. Massive grandfather trees. Wildlife. A small house just big enough for the wife and I, and the dogs. A place to spend what's left of my life. A near paradise. Also moved to this area to be closer to family. About a half hour away, close but not too close. Parents are getting older and haven't had the opportunity to spend quality time at leisure since my early 20s.
About 2 1/2 weeks ago, a man I admire more than any other, my stepfather died. We've only been here a short time and most of my time has been spent getting settled. One morning he just dies.
I'll get there TAE, bear with me....
So, one of my older brothers has become increasingly rigid over the years. Truthfully, he can be an overbearing dick at times, and that's not just little brother syndrome talking. He offered some criticism over something really silly and stupid the night following my stepfather's funeral. Petty, and silly. I just gave it a casual "meh, whatever". This lit the fuse and shit exploded. Me trying to calm things down and him accusing of trying to patronize and/or minimize MY shortcomings. After that night, I'm 59 years old, I don't have time for however time I have left to deal with the bullshit.
So last weekend he calls to say he's at the lake house and will be passing this area, is it okay if he drops by to see the property. Sure, I says. When I say he is rigid, an example would be if he is speaking about something and you just in conversation also speak n that subject, he might just kind of blurt out, "don't tell me about my business." It's bizarre and weird for someone who has such confidence in himself to be so sensitive. However, if you are speaking about something he has no problem with "Well, what you should do is....". Zero self awareness, it's crazy.
So he comes here to the property. I walk him around the property, and then the house, pointing out plans I have for improvements. You guessed it, "well what you should do" was often heard to the point of annoyance. It wasn't worth it, I let it pass. Lastly, at the back of the house at the rear of the kitchen there is a window where I say I will replace the window with a sliding glass door. A big piece of glass right there will be good to sit at the table and overlook the property, drink coffee, watch the deer, etc. Brother, "you don't need a sliding glass door, you could get a French door." In case you think he is being smart and suggesting that the header above the window would play into replacement with a single French door, when I says I'd like a more expansive view he suggests, "you could put a window on both sides." This would require making nearly the entire wall a header to support the weight from above. Not only, the typical width of an exterior door is 36", and opens in. If someone is sitting at the table with their back to the door, comfortably that person would need 3' of clearance from table to back of chair. That's 6 feet the table would need to be from that wall! From that wall to the kitchen island is 12'. He's an intelligent guy, maybe smarter than I, but I run through the calculations in my head right there thinking what a dumb idea rather than having a slider that requires no floor space. Although I will have to expand the header. I just stay silent and move on. I was close, and would have been justified, but did not go to "don't tell me my business."
It's bizarre trying to communicate with some people, especially it would seem a sibling who apparently must always interject an opinion and always be right. Yet....yet, rejects even the slightest of opinion or mere comment as sticking your nose where it doesn't belong.
I don't know, long post, but I reckon on topic rather than political. I had something to say.
Oh, and Trump, because you just know it can't go without being said.