Obtuse, twisted, distorted "Facts" being used in an argument or debate AKA Gas Lighting
- Thread starter TAE
- Start date
Well I can't apologize so....You called me an idiot? But that was lovely.
I wasn't talking to you in my reply to RFR. You are involving yourself in the middle of something that has nothing to do with you.
And instead of acknowledging it you change the subject. The irony.
You're ridiculous. And not in a funny way.
Gtoboy
Well-known member
You can if you like. I was commenting on the one mentioned in this thread. You could certainly start your own thread to discuss all those holidays if you wish.
You’re generally hostile in almost every thread. If not overtly hostile, you got that passive aggressive thing going on .
There come a time when you say to yourself, I don’t feel like dealing with this guy.
I feel no shame in walking away.
ibleedburgundy
The Anti-Lambo
You can if you like. I was commenting on the one mentioned in this thread. You could certainly start your own thread to discuss all those holidays if you wish.
What would be wrong with people celebrating the freedom of black people in Texas?
Is this more of the idea that you can't be happy for others?
TAE
All you have is now
FLAT TIRE!I love how these threads can take a left turn....so in an effort to get back on track
Came up with this analogy and maybe it works...maybe you knuckleheads can advise a better one ...with regards to getting on with life...forgiving what is history.
OK I accidentally left a bunch of nails in the driveway. You ran over them and got a flat. You were pissed. I was embarrassed even ashamed by my negligence, truly sorry, apologized and had the tire patched up and fixed.
The car rolls the tire is fixed but now every time we get in that car you bring up that I left nails in the driveway and inconvenienced you...Not necessary, it's history...
Bringing up that I suggested a different option, looking for a fight AFTER I concede and agree to do it their way in my crazy mind is the same as bringing up the flat tire after the fact...WHY? So my plan in dealing with this person who knowingly or most likely unknowingly is gas lighting me all the time is to share the Flat tire story and create a safe word for us Flat Tire when I feel I'm being gas lit I'll just say Flat Tire and hopefully the history lesson stops...
Mick Doobie
Resist We Much
I am not particularly fond of the term "gaslighting", seems overly used trendy bullshit term most who use it have jackshit clue what it even means. Having offered my opinion on that....
The wife and I sold the house at the beach and moved to a property out in the country. While I (do) will miss he beach, it's beautiful here, I love it. Acreage, partially wooded, partially cleared. Massive grandfather trees. Wildlife. A small house just big enough for the wife and I, and the dogs. A place to spend what's left of my life. A near paradise. Also moved to this area to be closer to family. About a half hour away, close but not too close. Parents are getting older and haven't had the opportunity to spend quality time at leisure since my early 20s.
About 2 1/2 weeks ago, a man I admire more than any other, my stepfather died. We've only been here a short time and most of my time has been spent getting settled. One morning he just dies.
I'll get there TAE, bear with me....
So, one of my older brothers has become increasingly rigid over the years. Truthfully, he can be an overbearing dick at times, and that's not just little brother syndrome talking. He offered some criticism over something really silly and stupid the night following my stepfather's funeral. Petty, and silly. I just gave it a casual "meh, whatever". This lit the fuse and shit exploded. Me trying to calm things down and him accusing of trying to patronize and/or minimize MY shortcomings. After that night, I'm 59 years old, I don't have time for however time I have left to deal with the bullshit.
So last weekend he calls to say he's at the lake house and will be passing this area, is it okay if he drops by to see the property. Sure, I says. When I say he is rigid, an example would be if he is speaking about something and you just in conversation also speak n that subject, he might just kind of blurt out, "don't tell me about my business." It's bizarre and weird for someone who has such confidence in himself to be so sensitive. However, if you are speaking about something he has no problem with "Well, what you should do is....". Zero self awareness, it's crazy.
So he comes here to the property. I walk him around the property, and then the house, pointing out plans I have for improvements. You guessed it, "well what you should do" was often heard to the point of annoyance. It wasn't worth it, I let it pass. Lastly, at the back of the house at the rear of the kitchen there is a window where I say I will replace the window with a sliding glass door. A big piece of glass right there will be good to sit at the table and overlook the property, drink coffee, watch the deer, etc. Brother, "you don't need a sliding glass door, you could get a French door." In case you think he is being smart and suggesting that the header above the window would play into replacement with a single French door, when I says I'd like a more expansive view he suggests, "you could put a window on both sides." This would require making nearly the entire wall a header to support the weight from above. Not only, the typical width of an exterior door is 36", and opens in. If someone is sitting at the table with their back to the door, comfortably that person would need 3' of clearance from table to back of chair. That's 6 feet the table would need to be from that wall! From that wall to the kitchen island is 12'. He's an intelligent guy, maybe smarter than I, but I run through the calculations in my head right there thinking what a dumb idea rather than having a slider that requires no floor space. Although I will have to expand the header. I just stay silent and move on. I was close, and would have been justified, but did not go to "don't tell me my business."
It's bizarre trying to communicate with some people, especially it would seem a sibling who apparently must always interject an opinion and always be right. Yet....yet, rejects even the slightest of opinion or mere comment as sticking your nose where it doesn't belong.
I don't know, long post, but I reckon on topic rather than political. I had something to say.
Oh, and Trump, because you just know it can't go without being said.
The wife and I sold the house at the beach and moved to a property out in the country. While I (do) will miss he beach, it's beautiful here, I love it. Acreage, partially wooded, partially cleared. Massive grandfather trees. Wildlife. A small house just big enough for the wife and I, and the dogs. A place to spend what's left of my life. A near paradise. Also moved to this area to be closer to family. About a half hour away, close but not too close. Parents are getting older and haven't had the opportunity to spend quality time at leisure since my early 20s.
About 2 1/2 weeks ago, a man I admire more than any other, my stepfather died. We've only been here a short time and most of my time has been spent getting settled. One morning he just dies.
I'll get there TAE, bear with me....
So, one of my older brothers has become increasingly rigid over the years. Truthfully, he can be an overbearing dick at times, and that's not just little brother syndrome talking. He offered some criticism over something really silly and stupid the night following my stepfather's funeral. Petty, and silly. I just gave it a casual "meh, whatever". This lit the fuse and shit exploded. Me trying to calm things down and him accusing of trying to patronize and/or minimize MY shortcomings. After that night, I'm 59 years old, I don't have time for however time I have left to deal with the bullshit.
So last weekend he calls to say he's at the lake house and will be passing this area, is it okay if he drops by to see the property. Sure, I says. When I say he is rigid, an example would be if he is speaking about something and you just in conversation also speak n that subject, he might just kind of blurt out, "don't tell me about my business." It's bizarre and weird for someone who has such confidence in himself to be so sensitive. However, if you are speaking about something he has no problem with "Well, what you should do is....". Zero self awareness, it's crazy.
So he comes here to the property. I walk him around the property, and then the house, pointing out plans I have for improvements. You guessed it, "well what you should do" was often heard to the point of annoyance. It wasn't worth it, I let it pass. Lastly, at the back of the house at the rear of the kitchen there is a window where I say I will replace the window with a sliding glass door. A big piece of glass right there will be good to sit at the table and overlook the property, drink coffee, watch the deer, etc. Brother, "you don't need a sliding glass door, you could get a French door." In case you think he is being smart and suggesting that the header above the window would play into replacement with a single French door, when I says I'd like a more expansive view he suggests, "you could put a window on both sides." This would require making nearly the entire wall a header to support the weight from above. Not only, the typical width of an exterior door is 36", and opens in. If someone is sitting at the table with their back to the door, comfortably that person would need 3' of clearance from table to back of chair. That's 6 feet the table would need to be from that wall! From that wall to the kitchen island is 12'. He's an intelligent guy, maybe smarter than I, but I run through the calculations in my head right there thinking what a dumb idea rather than having a slider that requires no floor space. Although I will have to expand the header. I just stay silent and move on. I was close, and would have been justified, but did not go to "don't tell me my business."
It's bizarre trying to communicate with some people, especially it would seem a sibling who apparently must always interject an opinion and always be right. Yet....yet, rejects even the slightest of opinion or mere comment as sticking your nose where it doesn't belong.
I don't know, long post, but I reckon on topic rather than political. I had something to say.
Oh, and Trump, because you just know it can't go without being said.
Mick Doobie
Resist We Much
Oh, and something else....
A while back I was having a conversation here with some socially minded socialist type jackass. "Mr" somebody, Mr jackass or whatever. It just popped in my head the name, but no use in repeating it, a charitable gesture. His every post had mentions of "gaslighting". He hated political discussions, dontchaknow, but apparently just couldn't help himself(>>?). The longer things went on I got the feeling the guy was not all there. It was pitiful, so I began to lighten up. You guessed it, the more I lightened, the more I was "gaslighting". He lost his shit so bad he practically begged the mods to ban him. When they didn't oblige, yep, "gaslighting". He finally just left.
I felt sorry for him. Disagreements of opinion are one thing, but to watch someone go out of their head is sad. Then he left. Once gone, I mean I don't know, maybe it was I who then got all gaslighted?!!
It's a cruel mixed up whirled.
A while back I was having a conversation here with some socially minded socialist type jackass. "Mr" somebody, Mr jackass or whatever. It just popped in my head the name, but no use in repeating it, a charitable gesture. His every post had mentions of "gaslighting". He hated political discussions, dontchaknow, but apparently just couldn't help himself(>>?). The longer things went on I got the feeling the guy was not all there. It was pitiful, so I began to lighten up. You guessed it, the more I lightened, the more I was "gaslighting". He lost his shit so bad he practically begged the mods to ban him. When they didn't oblige, yep, "gaslighting". He finally just left.
I felt sorry for him. Disagreements of opinion are one thing, but to watch someone go out of their head is sad. Then he left. Once gone, I mean I don't know, maybe it was I who then got all gaslighted?!!
It's a cruel mixed up whirled.
TAE
All you have is now
Brother Mick! Pass me a doobie! 
Nah I put down 45 years ago....damn
Sooo Cool that your digging your new digs! What State / Area are you hanging your hat in?
The older brother UGH! Man siblings...Ya know you have a perception of him that he is so confident but there is this psychological box some are thrown into that he may fit in.... He may actually internally suffer from an inferiority complex and is covering it up with a superior complex WTF?
Holy shit on the construction suggestions...As you probably know I have been in kitchen remodHELL mode since October Just wrapped up the tile backsplash this weekend. Set the tile Saturday , grouted Sunday and put the receptacle plates on on Monday...Basically FUCKING DONE! Oh wait the wife wants LED lights under the cabinets.....no problem it is all set up for it. a few hours of fiddling and the damn kitchen project is done...
Suggestions OMFG>>>everyone has an opinion and very rarely do they match my very construction knowledgeable plans. Oh it'd be easy for you to do this, or that ...STFU! No! Do you realize how much of a PITA that would be to do at this juncture...Yeah but your Tomco you can do anything....fer fucks sake.
OR just suggestions that just don't align with our taste or plans ...My poor son in law "OH man you should do the herring bone pattern on the backsplash" Dude NO! I set tile for 20 years I could easily do it in a herring bone...sure it's a little more work but in that tiny space with all the zigs and zags and the trim tiles only available for a normal lateral set it would look like ass...all that extra work for a negative aesthetic gain...Like a dog hanging onto a bone...He went behind my back and tried to convince my wife...little fucker... I said hell no and this is why....and the wife pretty much agreed....this went on for weeks. Then on Mothers day he starts in again...OH fer fucks sake! Ya know I don't give a crap at this point if the wife wants it herringbone, I'll do it that way...Oh he was all kinds of happy..Time comes for the backsplash to go in..I tell the wife...seriously I'm fine doing it however you want it ...fortunately she agreed it would probably look chopped up and too busy in such a small area and we did it traditional...Boy was he shocked when he saw it last Sunday...Normally he has something to say about everything we've done....mums the word all day on the backsplash...He's a great guy and means well but we definitely have different design styles.
People are people, so why should it be
You and I should get along so awfully?
Just the nature of the beast I guess
Nah I put down 45 years ago....damnSooo Cool that your digging your new digs! What State / Area are you hanging your hat in?
The older brother UGH! Man siblings...Ya know you have a perception of him that he is so confident but there is this psychological box some are thrown into that he may fit in.... He may actually internally suffer from an inferiority complex and is covering it up with a superior complex WTF?
Holy shit on the construction suggestions...As you probably know I have been in kitchen remodHELL mode since October Just wrapped up the tile backsplash this weekend. Set the tile Saturday , grouted Sunday and put the receptacle plates on on Monday...Basically FUCKING DONE! Oh wait the wife wants LED lights under the cabinets.....no problem it is all set up for it. a few hours of fiddling and the damn kitchen project is done...
Suggestions OMFG>>>everyone has an opinion and very rarely do they match my very construction knowledgeable plans. Oh it'd be easy for you to do this, or that ...STFU! No! Do you realize how much of a PITA that would be to do at this juncture...Yeah but your Tomco you can do anything....fer fucks sake.
OR just suggestions that just don't align with our taste or plans ...My poor son in law "OH man you should do the herring bone pattern on the backsplash" Dude NO! I set tile for 20 years I could easily do it in a herring bone...sure it's a little more work but in that tiny space with all the zigs and zags and the trim tiles only available for a normal lateral set it would look like ass...all that extra work for a negative aesthetic gain...Like a dog hanging onto a bone...He went behind my back and tried to convince my wife...little fucker... I said hell no and this is why....and the wife pretty much agreed....this went on for weeks. Then on Mothers day he starts in again...OH fer fucks sake! Ya know I don't give a crap at this point if the wife wants it herringbone, I'll do it that way...Oh he was all kinds of happy..Time comes for the backsplash to go in..I tell the wife...seriously I'm fine doing it however you want it ...fortunately she agreed it would probably look chopped up and too busy in such a small area and we did it traditional...Boy was he shocked when he saw it last Sunday...Normally he has something to say about everything we've done....mums the word all day on the backsplash...He's a great guy and means well but we definitely have different design styles.
People are people, so why should it be
You and I should get along so awfully?
Just the nature of the beast I guess
