New Rock Song - "Superhero" - I'd Appreciate Your Ears

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Brad Smith Music
I just finished a new song called "Superhero." I am dedicating it to my senior class of 2010 (I'm a teacher at a small high school). I hope it's not too cheezy!
Please let me know what you think. :D
If it doesn't suck too bad I'll have it played for the recessional.
 
There's greatness in this work. A couple stitches off here and there.......a little sectional editing that could keep it moving at the punching, off-the-start-line horsepower. One section [chorus] that needs something in the scrum to punch the bass and drum figure a little more...like a choppin' guitar L&R....and a modulation at the solo, maybe, to keep going up the stairs.

IMHOFWIIW: most of the things you arranged and assembled are fantastic....and the recorded sound is awesome. The intro really hooked me. Nice use of space and dynamics, etc. And the playing is real good and tastee.
 
jeffmaher said:
There's greatness in this work. A couple stitches off here and there.......a little sectional editing that could keep it moving at the punching, off-the-start-line horsepower. One section [chorus] that needs something in the scrum to punch the bass and drum figure a little more...like a choppin' guitar L&R....and a modulation at the solo, maybe, to keep going up the stairs.

IMHOFWIIW: most of the things you arranged and assembled are fantastic....and the recorded sound is awesome. The intro really hooked me. Nice use of space and dynamics, etc. And the playing is real good and tastee.
Click to expand...

Thanks for taking the time to listen Jeff! I hear you on the modulated lead section. That's usually one of the top tricks in my bag - I was reaching for it when I ran out of time as well as decided that I overuse that trick. I wanted a trendy bridge type thingy, but it didn't fall in my lap, so I moved on (lazy) I still might come back to it later :)

I'm not sure what a "scrum" is, but I'll sure try to put something in it when I figure out what "it" is :D

I found myself often wanting the chorus to hit me harder, maybe another guitar part would do it.

Thanks again,

Brad
 
Scrum [scrummage]....that's when a bunch of rugby guys face off in a group hug in their undies, and do something for which no rational explanation exists ...or used to describe a complex structure...a thickness of texture and, maybe, a soundmix with a lot of stuff in it :^)

There's something in the 'scrum' in the chorus that doesn't work together. The sustaining guits seem to steal thunder from the figure.....like you said. The power drops....or stays level where expectations are for more. You could try some stuff...or just listen a lot until the inpiration hits, and you'll get the solution. There's one, and it's simple...I can't think of it. SOme kind of added line-figure on another two guits, in the nearer wings, that works with the bass and drums, maybe? Thicken the backing orchestration, and drive the nails in the bass and drum figure with some directed melodic energy?? Yeah, I'd try adding a couple tracks of something before I'd redo anything.

I really like this tune. Some minor arrangement work and inspiration would put it with the best I've heard on the forum. Every section that unfolded made me nod and say 'yeah'. Except the chorus, maybe. The backing vox were superb. Except for one note in the top voice for about one beat...in one place. But I ain't sayin'. :^)
 
Hey Brad, I just got a first listen at this and it's really pleasing. I like the feel, and especially as a dedicational piece for your students, I think you really hit the mark.

Jeff referred to a harmony nit above, and I have the same feeling about it (at least I think it's the same line). It's right at 1:52 "stand out and shine". It's on the second half of the word shine, the high harmony goes dissonant right there. (Same for the next section with the word "unknown".) If it were me, I'd sing a harmony line that stayed on the note D for "hope I'm gonna stand out and shi-" and then drop to a B for the last syllable of shine. Hopefully that isn't too nitpicky :)

One other thing that struck me on first listen was that I'd love to hear words in the "lift section" between the verse and chorus instead of woo-hoo-hoo. The organ coming in and the chord change is beautiful (love those accent guitars too!), and I think with some good words/melody there, that could end up being a real high point of the song. It's close now, but just a little more work and you could make it stellar. Also, if you have words there, but leave the woo-hoo-hoo in the breakdown section at the end, I think the build up of the whole song arrangement would be better because then you're introducing new information at the end during the breakdown which keeps it interesting.

One last thought (you are probably sorry you asked now...ha ha ha). At the end, I'm dying to hear some high vocal lines intertwining with the chorus melody. It doesn't have to be complicated, sort of a call and response kind of thing maybe, where you go up and belt out a few really powerful lines between the chorus lines. Just a thought :)

I think it's really good as is, and certainly should go in the recessional. I'll be interested to hear what your students think about it, I think they're going to love it.

Best Regards,

Dave
www.soundclick.com/davedewhitt
 
I was listening to Edguy when I saw this thread, so I expected something a little different. :D

It sounds pretty good. I like the driving snare roll in the pre-chorus.
 
dewhitt said:
Hey Brad, I just got a first listen at this and it's really pleasing. I like the feel, and especially as a dedicational piece for your students, I think you really hit the mark.

Jeff referred to a harmony nit above, and I have the same feeling about it (at least I think it's the same line). It's right at 1:52 "stand out and shine". It's on the second half of the word shine, the high harmony goes dissonant right there. (Same for the next section with the word "unknown".) If it were me, I'd sing a harmony line that stayed on the note D for "hope I'm gonna stand out and shi-" and then drop to a B for the last syllable of shine. Hopefully that isn't too nitpicky :)

One other thing that struck me on first listen was that I'd love to hear words in the "lift section" between the verse and chorus instead of woo-hoo-hoo. The organ coming in and the chord change is beautiful (love those accent guitars too!), and I think with some good words/melody there, that could end up being a real high point of the song. It's close now, but just a little more work and you could make it stellar. Also, if you have words there, but leave the woo-hoo-hoo in the breakdown section at the end, I think the build up of the whole song arrangement would be better because then you're introducing new information at the end during the breakdown which keeps it interesting.

One last thought (you are probably sorry you asked now...ha ha ha). At the end, I'm dying to hear some high vocal lines intertwining with the chorus melody. It doesn't have to be complicated, sort of a call and response kind of thing maybe, where you go up and belt out a few really powerful lines between the chorus lines. Just a thought :)

I think it's really good as is, and certainly should go in the recessional. I'll be interested to hear what your students think about it, I think they're going to love it.

Best Regards,

Dave
www.soundclick.com/davedewhitt
Click to expand...

Hey Dave - Wow! Thank you. I'm so glad and you (and Jeff) are the first ones to have a go at this tune! You guys really honed in on the areas that need help, which happen to be where I got lazy, rushed, or am deficient in musicianship.:o

..I stood at the crossroads of going from D to C#(not in key), B (a minor third drop) or even E (hard to hit). Hearing myself sing the D to B with my guitar didn't feel right, E was too much work, so I thought, what the hell, jazz guys go dissonant all the time! I thought nobody would even notice that split-second note :laughings: I thought wrong. It bugged me; I ignored it. It bugged you; I changed it today! It sounds much better.

About the woo hoo hoo's...yea, I got lazy and was pretty happy (being finished) with the lyrics and didn't want to push my luck. It was late, the kids were asleep and I just lightly croaked the woo-hoo's on 6 tracks and was pleased with the "Collective Soul" vibe I got. Anyway, I just tried putting some words in there today. I tried the woo-hoo melody with words, but it sucked. I tried a new melody, but it just started to sound like a cliched 80's "pre-chorus." If you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them (co-writing credit of course :) )

Lastly, the chorus at the end IS boring as all heck, and some high(ish) weaving vox might keep the listener's skip button undisturbed. I'll have to put the dog out (for his safety) and see what I can do :)

Thanks again for your time, ears, and effort,
I appreciate it greatly!

Brad :D
 
Hey Brad ... nice tune.

Not much to add to above, but during the first chorus (in particular), the vox drop a little too far under the music bed ... not as noticed during the following choruses (because you've got more going on) ...

Anyways ... overall, very nice.

Kev-
 
K-dub said:
Hey Brad ... nice tune.

Not much to add to above, but during the first chorus (in particular), the vox drop a little too far under the music bed ... not as noticed during the following choruses (because you've got more going on) ...

Anyways ... overall, very nice.

Kev-
Click to expand...

Actually, Kev, You may have found the 'missing link' here! Jeff and I noticed that the chorus didn't have the expected 'punch' and I think the vox volume may be part of the problem.

:D Thanks for your help!!!
 
jeffmaher said:
Scrum [scrummage]....that's when a bunch of rugby guys face off in a group hug in their undies, and do something for which no rational explanation exists ...or used to describe a complex structure...a thickness of texture and, maybe, a soundmix with a lot of stuff in it :^)

There's something in the 'scrum' in the chorus that doesn't work together. The sustaining guits seem to steal thunder from the figure.....like you said. The power drops....or stays level where expectations are for more. You could try some stuff...or just listen a lot until the inpiration hits, and you'll get the solution. There's one, and it's simple...I can't think of it. SOme kind of added line-figure on another two guits, in the nearer wings, that works with the bass and drums, maybe? Thicken the backing orchestration, and drive the nails in the bass and drum figure with some directed melodic energy?? Yeah, I'd try adding a couple tracks of something before I'd redo anything.

I really like this tune. Some minor arrangement work and inspiration would put it with the best I've heard on the forum. Every section that unfolded made me nod and say 'yeah'. Except the chorus, maybe. The backing vox were superb. Except for one note in the top voice for about one beat...in one place. But I ain't sayin'. :^)
Click to expand...

OK Jeff,
I added some stuff and re-worked some stuff to try to get that chorus to jump out a little more. The sustained guits were too distorted and freq. fighting the vox. I re-recorded them and tweaked em. I added something kinda made me think of Starky and Hutch - kinda lame - but it worked for me. Let me know what you think. (Superhero2)
:)
 
I listened to both versions again. The vox in the new version sounds like it lost a couple db??? I'm thinking it should be up fronter...but I'm on the phones, now...might be the diff.

Any way, the 16th feel adds some. But I'm wondering what happened to the Hammond B3 during the chorus?? Can't hear it, if it's doing something. And what it might be doing is playing 16th up and down triadic arpeggios?? Like the chorus in Foreigner's "Feels Like the First Time? Might be a really big part for the organ....and the missing link. You'll find it. Prolly waking up...some inspiration thing from the core of your brain.

And I noticed this time that the snare in the chorus is hitting an anticipation...on the twos...instead of straight...2/4. That might be responsible for sapping some momentum. I think that figure works nice in a verse....but can halt a rolling feel.....which drops temp. And I can't remember if that two anticipation plays in the verses....but going straight 2/4 in the chorus might add contrast, momentum, and break it out???
 
I'm not a huge fan of the vocal effect but I like the vocals themselves. Maybe just throw the effect on in the chorus. My other nit is the snare sounds too choked. Otherwise it's well constructed an arranged. Good tune
 
The vocal effect doesn't work for me. It's performed well, but it's just too much for the whole song. I don't know what's up with that snare smaple, but it sounds like the wires are off on the heavy hits and then engaged again for the ghost notes. Weird. The bass and kick are muydding up together. Even in the quiter sections the bass is stomping on the kick. The guitars are okay. Except for the kick and bass, the mix levels are all pretty good. These are just suggestions that my ears would like to hear.
 
Greg_L said:
The vocal effect doesn't work for me. It's performed well, but it's just too much for the whole song. I don't know what's up with that snare smaple, but it sounds like the wires are off on the heavy hits and then engaged again for the ghost notes. Weird. The bass and kick are muydding up together. Even in the quiter sections the bass is stomping on the kick. The guitars are okay. Except for the kick and bass, the mix levels are all pretty good. These are just suggestions that my ears would like to hear.
Click to expand...

Oops, I'm a tard! I had a redundant reverb on unintentionally :eek: (I thought it sounded muddy :confused:)
I re-did the drums on the chorus. There was no effect on the vocals other than my attempts at multi-tracking them and too many reverbs. I thinks its better now. Greg, I think you got the bass/kick luv you were lookin' for now. This is the final mix, I'm not listening to this sucker again until it blares out over 500 people at graduation. :eek:

Thank for your time and time and time again....
 
Hmmm the vocals sound disconnected from the mix. Like there's no beef to it that lets it sit with the music.

Is the snare sampled? It sounds really, really upfront. I'm not a fan of 80's reverbry snares by any means, but I usually find a tiny touch of reverb helps a lot.

Pretty good song, arrangement, and playing.
 
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