There's greatness in this work. A couple stitches off here and there.......a little sectional editing that could keep it moving at the punching, off-the-start-line horsepower. One section [chorus] that needs something in the scrum to punch the bass and drum figure a little more...like a choppin' guitar L&R....and a modulation at the solo, maybe, to keep going up the stairs.
IMHOFWIIW: most of the things you arranged and assembled are fantastic....and the recorded sound is awesome. The intro really hooked me. Nice use of space and dynamics, etc. And the playing is real good and tastee.
Hey Brad, I just got a first listen at this and it's really pleasing. I like the feel, and especially as a dedicational piece for your students, I think you really hit the mark.
Jeff referred to a harmony nit above, and I have the same feeling about it (at least I think it's the same line). It's right at 1:52 "stand out and shine". It's on the second half of the word shine, the high harmony goes dissonant right there. (Same for the next section with the word "unknown".) If it were me, I'd sing a harmony line that stayed on the note D for "hope I'm gonna stand out and shi-" and then drop to a B for the last syllable of shine. Hopefully that isn't too nitpicky
One other thing that struck me on first listen was that I'd love to hear words in the "lift section" between the verse and chorus instead of woo-hoo-hoo. The organ coming in and the chord change is beautiful (love those accent guitars too!), and I think with some good words/melody there, that could end up being a real high point of the song. It's close now, but just a little more work and you could make it stellar. Also, if you have words there, but leave the woo-hoo-hoo in the breakdown section at the end, I think the build up of the whole song arrangement would be better because then you're introducing new information at the end during the breakdown which keeps it interesting.
One last thought (you are probably sorry you asked now...ha ha ha). At the end, I'm dying to hear some high vocal lines intertwining with the chorus melody. It doesn't have to be complicated, sort of a call and response kind of thing maybe, where you go up and belt out a few really powerful lines between the chorus lines. Just a thought
I think it's really good as is, and certainly should go in the recessional. I'll be interested to hear what your students think about it, I think they're going to love it.
Best Regards,
Dave
www.soundclick.com/davedewhitt
Hey Brad ... nice tune.
Not much to add to above, but during the first chorus (in particular), the vox drop a little too far under the music bed ... not as noticed during the following choruses (because you've got more going on) ...
Anyways ... overall, very nice.
Kev-
Scrum [scrummage]....that's when a bunch of rugby guys face off in a group hug in their undies, and do something for which no rational explanation exists ...or used to describe a complex structure...a thickness of texture and, maybe, a soundmix with a lot of stuff in it :^)
There's something in the 'scrum' in the chorus that doesn't work together. The sustaining guits seem to steal thunder from the figure.....like you said. The power drops....or stays level where expectations are for more. You could try some stuff...or just listen a lot until the inpiration hits, and you'll get the solution. There's one, and it's simple...I can't think of it. SOme kind of added line-figure on another two guits, in the nearer wings, that works with the bass and drums, maybe? Thicken the backing orchestration, and drive the nails in the bass and drum figure with some directed melodic energy?? Yeah, I'd try adding a couple tracks of something before I'd redo anything.
I really like this tune. Some minor arrangement work and inspiration would put it with the best I've heard on the forum. Every section that unfolded made me nod and say 'yeah'. Except the chorus, maybe. The backing vox were superb. Except for one note in the top voice for about one beat...in one place. But I ain't sayin'. :^)
The vocal effect doesn't work for me. It's performed well, but it's just too much for the whole song. I don't know what's up with that snare smaple, but it sounds like the wires are off on the heavy hits and then engaged again for the ghost notes. Weird. The bass and kick are muydding up together. Even in the quiter sections the bass is stomping on the kick. The guitars are okay. Except for the kick and bass, the mix levels are all pretty good. These are just suggestions that my ears would like to hear.