EggShells song/mix feedback

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packrobottom

Active member
A new song I wrote and recorded this week. I kinda gave up on the last one texas girl as I'm sure some of you go through the same thing where you do something and then realize it sucks. This one is a lot better and I will finish this. Mix still has a few issues. Any feedback good or bad appreciated. I plan to replace the timekeeper drums with real drums once arrangement is finalized.

Edit: replaced drums. Please say whether you prefer old vocal effect or clean vocals.

48/24 wav (close login box to play in browser)
new mix real drums clean vocals
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New mix real drums clean vocals
View attachment Eggshells.mp3
 
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Very cool song. I’m losing the vocals, just a bit, whenever the mix gets busier. I also think that the guitar part could be a smidge louder at around 1:34 just to feature that a bit. I also think the more or less repetitive drum track works well on this.
really nice
Guy
 
Very Creative ! I Really liked all the sudden changes in this. I got a Bowie feel in one section then moved on to someone else. The vocal treatment worked well for this song. I'm on the fence about the bass volume. I thought it could come down in a few spots but not Really sure where. Enjoyed it . mark
 
Thanks guys. I implemented both suggestions raised gtr solo just a tad. Lowered bass about 1 db. I've added an additional mix with dirty GTRS in first chorus. I can't decide between the two mixes. What do you guys think? I like aspects of both. I like the energy from the dirty guitars in chr1 but like the vibe and more originality of the chr1 without them with the keyboards.
 
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I would generally default to dirty but in this case the clean treatment is better imo. It's a cool track. The vocal melody reminds me of something, can't put my finger on it. Only thing I don't like is the scratchy static in the right ear during the intro. Nice job
 
Cool sounding bass. I'd fade out the crackles just a few seconds quicker.

Cool guitar on the left. All the guitars sound real good.

I like the effects on the vocal. They work well with this songs. The backing vocals are almost louder than the lead.

Drum sounds are excellent. Love the snare especially.

Real good song and mix.

I like the clean chorus more than the dirty - the song breathes better through the chorus.
 
TripleM said:
Cool sounding bass. I'd fade out the crackles just a few seconds quicker.

Cool guitar on the left. All the guitars sound real good.

I like the effects on the vocal. They work well with this songs. The backing vocals are almost louder than the lead.

Drum sounds are excellent. Love the snare especially.

Real good song and mix.

I like the clean chorus more than the dirty - the song breathes better through the chorus.
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Yup I’m with 3M and BH on the clean chorus 👍
Catchy tune
 
Ok I've made a few changes. tomorrow I'm replacing the piano samples with a real yahama c3! Added chimes and cymbal build up during guitar solo. Recording of an eggshell crunch in intro. Move the vinyl static to center from right. Added a delay/eq transition from first verse to to chorus to better signify the vocals going from that muted vocal effect to normal on chorus. Also refined the fuzz guitars on last verse before break down. Some of the stuff that sounds like keyboard (last verse) is actually guitar thru a helix floor
 
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Yup', great bass line! Great movements overall.
Rhythm guitar at 53sec in has a "coffee can" character I don't like... but I hear it all the time lol ;)

I give it an 8/10 :)
Post the lyrics
 
Real grand piano is now in replacing the samples. I also added some reverse piano at very end played chords last to first and then reversed them in logic. Final things to do are correct a couple Vox issues and sing last chorus higher with more grit. Just have to be in the right mood for that. The guitar at :53 has a harmonizer on it thru helix into my amp. it has a metallic quality and it is jarring. Here are lyrics.

Egg Shells

Hey boy make your mind up
or you'll wind up like him
Keep it down
till he times out
from the cigarettes and gin

Hey girl keep your door locked
And when he knocks
Don’t give in
In the dark
With a flashlight
Under cover from his sin

Eggshells to keep it civil
They don’ t show it
You’d never know it
Tip toe around the devil
You’d Never know it
She’s so stoic

Packed my things
while he's at work
And took the 92
Start again, while I still can,
there’s nothing else to do.

Eggshells to keep it civil
They don’ t show it
You’d never know it
Tip toe around the devil
They never show it
She’s so stoic

Hey ma where’d you wind up

thought I'd share track count so you can see what went into it production wise.

screenshotDAW.png
 
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Ok a lot of changes from the original mix now. I've decided to leave the drum samples in as I think they work (unless one of you really thinks they should go) Added chorus to the bass. Added a bunch of percussion and removed tom groove from choruses. Removed the last vocal call/response line from the first chorus. Let me know if you prefer the original with both double responses or the new version. Added a low octave harmonizer to first 2 verse vocals. Redid some of the dirty guitars in outro with u87 instead of sm57 for more detail. Added a feedback swell before last chorus to give it some energy. Going to call this done now if you have any nits please let me know.
 
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packrobottom said:
A new song I wrote and recorded this week. This one is a lot better and I will finish this. Any feedback good or bad appreciated. I plan to replace the timekeeper drums with real drums once arrangement is finalized. Please say whether you think drums should be replaced with real drums or stay as is.

48/24
View attachment 135767
Click to expand...
I would live with mix a while longer before I'd replace the Drums - interesting updated 80s vibe song - you got something happening - I think you just need to develop it more.
 
I hate to say it...
But,
I wish the drumz were somewhere between the original and new mix. Or, I wish the original drums sounded more "acoustic"? The new drumz sound too compressed and processed...

I also like the phone effect every now and then... Try angrily screaming just a few lines with it :)
 
JAPOV said:
I hate to say it...
But,
I wish the drumz were somewhere between the original and new mix. Or, I wish the original drums sounded more "acoustic"? The new drumz sound too compressed and processed...

I also like the phone effect every now and then... Try angrily screaming just a few lines with it :)
Click to expand...
the new real drums have samples behind them. I decided to have them more modern sounding
 
packrobottom said:
the new real drums have samples behind them. I decided to have them more modern sounding
Click to expand...
The argument behind the song is kind of irritating for repeated listens - and the Crackling Record noise - come on this is the 20's --- that sound IMO doesn't work. -
the real drums sound good - but need to be louder and more up front IMO.
 
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