These are my thoughts on what I've heard, since this is obviously not a complete song.
The guitar part is nice, and as others have mentioned the timing is off. But, damn it's a cell phone recording. So, you'll do it right in the studio. It could use a little more flair UNLESS you plan on other instrumentation. If you are changing it up (even on this) it's not enough to be noticed. This seems like a riff repeated over and over for 1:21 seconds, which might seem short, but without depth will lose the listeners attention by the 3rd or 4th repetition. Since it's not a full song, I imagine there's going to be a chorus and chord progression to give it that depth. If there isn't... Then you might be in trouble.
I've written and recorded songs that don't have a bridge. But, the difference between my verses and choruses are enough that I don't feel a bridge is necessary. Many disagree with that. But, they also think Lou Reed and Suzanne Vega falter on this also. So, it's all a matter of taste. From what you've posted in this song, there doesn't seem to be a chorus. But, you do mention that it's just part of a song.
The last piece is your melody. There are two things I noticed. I do the same thing, so take it from someone who is in the same boat.
1) The melody blends beautifully with the guitar part, but it doesn't stretch from there. So, you have a guitar riff you're repeating and a melody line that is also trying to repeat. How many times can you repeat before it gets static?
2) The first line is perfect "We fly high - desert sky" within the riff. The next line (I have a hard time understanding the lyrics. But, again it's a cell phone recording. I wouldn't even consider putting up anything I just sat and recorded. It'd be frightening) adds a lot of syllables and you try to squeeze them into the same melody. It sounds forced and unmelodic. Flesh out the melody a little further. You'll find moving a note a 3rd or 5th will bring all new ideas for melody.
You have a really nice voice, and kudos for making a cell phone recording sound decent. I need melodyne to fix every note I utter. Even with that, sometimes I'm off.
Good Luck with the recording.