A few observations:
Are you ready to take the next step?
Obviously they are, or they wouldn't be contacting a studio.
Phatman Studios is an affordible, 16-track digital recording studio that is devoted to taking your music to the
next level.
ummm.... OK.
You misspelled "affordable".
We have trained engineers that will guide you through the session, step by step, to asure that you are completely satisfied. Phatman Studios also offers affordible cd and tape work done by our partner company, Diskmakers(c)
What trained engineers? Where did they get their training from?
Perhaps a less liable approach would be to say "experienced engineers". And nobody can assure "complete satisfaction".
You misspelled "affordable" again.
Sence 2000, Phatman Studios has been helping the modern musican take his/her's music to the next level by serving them with the best quality we have to offer.
You misspelled "Since."
You misused the contraction "her's".
"...the best quality we have to offer." Sounds.... cheap. Perhaps rephrase that to read: "... by serving our clientiel with high quality digital recording services...." Or something to that effect.
Weither your a soloest or a full peice band, Phatman Studios can put together a package that's right for you and will serve you to the maximum.
You misspelled "Whether"
You misspelled "soloist"
You misspelled "piece"
The phrase: ".... and will serve you to the maximum..." is inane - senseless. What are you going to serve them to the minimum???
Of course not. The idea that someone will get good or great service is expected, and understood. Delete that phrase entirely.
How? First we take the time to talk with you and get to know you. this will help us decide what will work best for you. Then we listen to the material that you wish to record to get an idea of how the production will work and turn out.
"This" should be capatilized.
Then, it's time role.
???
Our studio will allow 3 ways to record.
Only 3 ways? So, there's only 3 ways to record a project?
The first is recording the basic tracks (Vocal, Bass and Drummer) at the same time. Then, after we lay-down the basic tracks, we overdubb the rest of the backing tracks (guitars, backing vocals, keybords,ect). The second way is to let the whole band play at once while recording, and then overdubb each track own it's own. The third way is to record all of the parts one by one. (this is most suited for soloest).
You misspelled "soloist".
All of this is... OK, I guess, but to me its all something thats better said in a one-on-one conference/consultation with the client. Not something you really want on a web-site.
So, is Phatman Studios right for you? Well, that's up to you. All we can do is promise you satisfaction. Or you pay nothing!
I'd be cautious saying that. Some people are never satisfied, and you could end up working for next to nothing to try and please them.
We're now mixing in 5.1 surround sound!
That's probably OK, if your targeting indie film makers to do composition for film; otherwise, who cares?
Phatman Studios is Not a professional recording studio.
Then why on earth would I come to you?
However, we do offer you the best quality we have to give!
I'd loose that one!
There's more, but I'll let you digest that.