Jan~ Feb Challenge: contributions in here

  • Thread starter Thread starter gecko zzed
  • Start date Start date
Sure thing

commanda said:
Hey Dave,

Pretty good for a slap-up job. Was wondering how you'd handle the lyrics.
Nice touch with the ending.
Any chance you could pm me the wav file? Or I could pm you an email address?
Click to expand...

I could send it to an email addy if you pm'd me one. To send a pm through the board here would not work due to the filesize. I could fire it off before bedtime and let it cook away through the night. Perhaps I could ZIP it up first. Glad you're not upset with the song. Dave
 
NYMorningstar said:
Great fun, good experience!

Link:


Lyrics:
Shut the light
I can't look at you
Anger in her voice
another fight

Please Don't yell
I tried to explain
My words fall short
her tears start to well

pre c

I didn't mean what i said
But it came out anyway
maybe when morning comes
I'll know what to say

C

It's not right
It's not fair (alt. That's not me)
I'm sorry for
what i did to you

Why can't you ever just
listen to me

one more night
one more chance
Let me make this
better baby

Please understand me

v2

This empty place
echoing silence
since you ran out
With tears on your face

Nowhere to hide
From haunting feelings
Failed to fix it all
Though i tried...i know i tried

pre c

I didn't mean what i said
But it came out anyway
maybe when morning comes
I'll know what to say


B

I never think, you should have listened
I didn't lie, my heart is broken
I cannot take all the tension
You can't fix it anymore

I promise you I'll change our future
You couldn't even save our past
Give me time to explain this
Please Just let go of that door


C

It's not right
It's not fair (alt. That's not me)
I'm sorry for
what i did to you

Why can't you ever just
listen to me

one more night
one more chance
Let me make this
better baby
Click to expand...

This track, like the other contributions so far, couples the lyrics with great musical ideas. It seems to me that in this challenge, people have been giving considerable thought into how to proive a sympathetic musical treatment to their allotted lyrics, and this track is no exception.

With this track there is a cool Clapton-like melancholy about the vocal delivery that creates an air of pessimistic optimism (if that can exist). I like the restraint shown in the recording, and in particular, I like the stripping down to the bare bones that happens around the three-minute mark.

There are some problems with the recording though. Most noticeable is the timing tension between instruments that occurs in places throughout the song. It seems as if the instruments are fighting against the kit; trying to rush ahead. Perhaps the song needs to go up a few BPM.

I'ld like to hear the rhyhm guitars up a bit and the lead guitar take a more minimalist role (think Knopfler here). As I mentioned before, the pullback at three minutes was great, but the re-entry of the kit was a bit unconvincing. If it was to be a gradual fade in, it should be more gradual. Otherwise give it a definite entry point.

This, too, is a track that could come up sparkling with only a little bit of extra work. Well done!
 
up-fiddler said:
Click here for link

OK....Please accept my sincere apologies for not putting my normal effort into this project. I simply ran out of time by the time I got the studio back up and running. I especially feel bad for Commanda who put her heart into these lyrics and then had them not treated with equal dignity. I owe you girl. :o

Anyhooooooo..... The idea of "Ma'am" simply begged for a C/W treatment ;) so that's what I did. The mp3 version doesn't carry the bass well (As usual!) but in the studio this baby peels paint off the walls. I also changed the lyrics and treated them in the third person so that I could sing it, although I did give thought to leaving them and having a lady that I have worked with in the studio come in and sing them. Her schedule and mine didn't coincide though. Everything is one take with no effects whatsoever. I did a bit of leveling in Wavelab and then threw it up on the net. Here are the changed (slightly) lyrics for those of you who want to follow along at home. Cheers, up-fiddler aka Dave Morehouse
Click to expand...

It's interesting how just one word can suggest a thought from which a whole musical treatment can spill.

I've come to expect Dave's sense of showmanship, and this song is no exception. Dave injects it with life, vitality and humour, and the country treatment seems just right.

I note Dave not having the time to devote to this project, and that is evident on the lead licks, for example, which are a bit hazardous. I expect that Dave would have worked out something a little more solid given the opportunity.

But the rollicking treatment works well, and I was particularly taken by the ending.
 
gecko zzed said:
There are some problems with the recording though. Most noticeable is the timing tension between instruments that occurs in places throughout the song. It seems as if the instruments are fighting against the kit; trying to rush ahead. Perhaps the song needs to go up a few BPM.
Click to expand...
Thanks for the critique. I totally agree. This was my first time playing bass guitar and my timing was bad. The drummer, who I only had for an hour with, tracked listening to a rough mix and a click but the bass was throwing him off.

I thought the song was a little draggy too but I didn't know how to change that without retracking everything.

The rest was just a computer crash and life running me out of time :)

This was my first time creating music to lyrics(newbie at writing them too). When I first saw the lyrics it scared me. I thought there's no way... but this contest pushed me to doing it. After a few hours into it I started to really like it. Love the song and the experience. Can't wait till the next one. Think I'll start playing keys for that one :) Thank you!
 
Arrgghh, I'm going to come in a bit late on this one, folks....work has been sapping my time and energy! But I will indeed get it done.

-Mike
 
cnix said:
With sincere apologies to the works of Manslick, here is what I came up with. I not only butchered his lyrics, I butchered his music!! But, it was fun.

Charlie

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=8820259

__________________
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It's a very fine piece of butchery you've done, in that case.

I was impressed by the quality of recording: the musical arrangement was spacious, tasteful and clean. The change at the bridge was cool, and overall, the production shows great musical and mixing intelligence. A particular highlight for me was the minimalist guitar lead. However, I was not totally convinced by the drum fills, which sounded a bit too programmed.

The vocals seemed a bit inhibited to me. Though sung well enough, I wonder what it would sound like with a bit more drama in the delivery.

My impression is that Manslick's lyrics were written tongue-in-cheek, and it is interesting how you have been able to give something that started off light-hearted a more serious dimension.
 
Manslick music to upfiddler lyrics

http://sites.google.com/site/manslickmusic/Home/misunderstanding

Here's mine.

Yeah this was a fun endeavour.

The lyrics from Dave really grew on me as I worked on this.

I hope to one day retrack the vox as I'm not really crazy about these ones.

They're basically the working tracks where I worked out the harmonies.

The mp3 is at the bottom of the page.

Let me know if the site gives anyone a problem and I'll put it on SoundClick.
 
cnix said:
With sincere apologies to the works of Manslick, here is what I came up with. I not only butchered his lyrics, I butchered his music!! But, it was fun.

Charlie

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=8820259

__________________
Click to expand...

Really nice job here Charlie. I love it. Sounds modern compared to the stuff I do. Nice harmonies too. I hoped you'd do harmonies as I'm a big fan of harnonies. Love the guitar work too. It's got a kind of Chris Isaak sound to it. Nice organ work. Very lush arrangment.

I've never brefore had my lyrics put to music. I'm really honored.
Thanks for the effort you obviously put into this.
 
Manslick said:
http://sites.google.com/site/manslickmusic/Home/misunderstanding

Here's mine.

Yeah this was a fun endeavour.

The lyrics from Dave really grew on me as I worked on this.

I hope to one day retrack the vox as I'm not really crazy about these ones.

They're basically the working tracks where I worked out the harmonies.

The mp3 is at the bottom of the page.

Let me know if the site gives anyone a problem and I'll put it on SoundClick.
Click to expand...

No problems in finding the track. I appreciate being able to download (instead of just playing it on Soundclick) because that way I can listen to it when I'm ready to, rather than at the moment.

This is a very slick production. Notwithstanding your comments about the vocals, I thought you did a very fine rendition. (I think I noticed a false start somewhere). Harmonies work well, and highlight the interesting chord progressions you've chosen. Dave presented some challenging lyrics in terms of line lengths, and you've pulled off this interpretation very well. "And then we'll scream with joy" is a difficult line to fit within your structure, and maybe that line could have done with a few extra syllables.

From an arrangement perspective, I wouldn't mind hearing a simpler bass line; one that follows the kick more closely.

Interstingly, I noticed that the track went for over five minutes, which is usually way beyond my concentration span . . . but I found myself listening with interest to the whole thing, and was surprised when the end came. A very fine effort!
 
Manslick said:
http://sites.google.com/site/manslickmusic/Home/misunderstanding

Here's mine.

Yeah this was a fun endeavour.

The lyrics from Dave really grew on me as I worked on this.

I hope to one day retrack the vox as I'm not really crazy about these ones.

They're basically the working tracks where I worked out the harmonies.

The mp3 is at the bottom of the page.

Let me know if the site gives anyone a problem and I'll put it on SoundClick.
Click to expand...

Nice job. I wrote these lyrics with the idea that a Challenge should be a true challenge. I was happy to see you rise to the task. I was impressed with the way you handled the varied line lengths and the equal syllable counts in them. I am breaking it up into a different meter but certainly appreciate what you did. You set the bar high indeed. I will have to put on my musical thinking cap for March.

Nice work, Dave. aka up-fiddler
 
Strat1958 said:
Arrgghh, I'm going to come in a bit late on this one, folks....work has been sapping my time and energy! But I will indeed get it done.

-Mike
Click to expand...
Alright! My work assignment is finally DONE. I am taking a long weekend, my first days off since Xmas - so I will work on finishing the song. (Thanks for your patience Charlie). :)

-Mike

EDIT: Music tracks are done. As soon as I record the vocal, I will post. Once again, sorry for being late.
 
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Strat1958's contribution

Well I finally got it done, did all the music and recorded the backing tracks - then I came down with a horrible cold. Up until yesterday I actually had laryngitis! So, I did the vocals just now and put it up on Soundclick. Those who are familiar with my voice will notice it is very different on this tune, and Charlie I apologize for that - but I couldn't let this get any later than it already is :o

I added one verse (the 3rd) and changed a few words around, I hope that was OK.

Here is the best I could do, under the circumstances.....:cool:

Misunderstanding

Lyrics by Charlie Nixon
Music by Mike Pilling
C 2010

Verse 1
If eyes could talk, what would yours say?
You speak of love, but your eyes give you away.
Once they were bright, filled with delight.
Now they’re just cold, cold and gray.

Verse 2
The look on your face, when he looks your way.
Leaves me confused, not knowing what to say.
I thought you were mine, you said for all time.
Now you seem far, far away.

Chorus
Is this love or is love a dream?
Am I a pawn, in your scheme?
Did I misunderstand, am I part of your plan, or was this just a fling?
Is this love or is love a dream?

Verse 3
I don’t know where we’ll be from day to day.
You say you’re here, but you’re really far away.
The fire was there, you once said you care.
How can it be, our love has gone astray?

Bridge
Tell me I’m wrong, that our love is strong.
Tell me it’s real, oh so real.
Tell me I’m wrong, that our love hasn’t gone.
Tell me it’s real, oh so real.

Chorus
Outro
 
Nice job Mike! Glad you're feeling better and I hope to be hearing more like this :)
 
Strat1958 said:
Well I finally got it done, did all the music and recorded the backing tracks - then I came down with a horrible cold. Up until yesterday I actually had laryngitis! So, I did the vocals just now and put it up on Soundclick. Those who are familiar with my voice will notice it is very different on this tune, and Charlie I apologize for that - but I couldn't let this get any later than it already is :o

I added one verse (the 3rd) and changed a few words around, I hope that was OK.

Here is the best I could do, under the circumstances.....:cool:

Misunderstanding

Lyrics by Charlie Nixon
Music by Mike Pilling
C 2010

Verse 1
If eyes could talk, what would yours say?
You speak of love, but your eyes give you away.
Once they were bright, filled with delight.
Now they’re just cold, cold and gray.

Verse 2
The look on your face, when he looks your way.
Leaves me confused, not knowing what to say.
I thought you were mine, you said for all time.
Now you seem far, far away.

Chorus
Is this love or is love a dream?
Am I a pawn, in your scheme?
Did I misunderstand, am I part of your plan, or was this just a fling?
Is this love or is love a dream?

Verse 3
I don’t know where we’ll be from day to day.
You say you’re here, but you’re really far away.
The fire was there, you once said you care.
How can it be, our love has gone astray?

Bridge
Tell me I’m wrong, that our love is strong.
Tell me it’s real, oh so real.
Tell me I’m wrong, that our love hasn’t gone.
Tell me it’s real, oh so real.

Chorus
Outro
Click to expand...

It's good to see you manage to get your contribution posted! Well done!

Stylistically I hear many influences in this track . . . perhaps strongest from George Harrison, John Lennon and Jeff Lyne.

As I have come to expect, there is considerable control and restraint exercised in the creation of this track, coupled with a kind of relentless tension that kept me engaged until the end of the song. The double tracked vocals worked in the chorus. The lead was spacious, sparse and tasteful.

I would be pleased if these had been my lyrics that you'd set to music. I expect Charlie would be pleased with this interpretation.


Thank you for perservering!
 
I've listened to all I could download - something's wrong with the soundclick streamer - AGAIN!
Uniformly entertaining pieces my gentlefolk.
I'll comment more when I've had a second listen.
Oh, Upfiddler - is there anyway of getting your track other than via quicktime? That little prog has killed my computer recently so I'm disinclined to reinstall it but would love to hear you contribution.
I'm jealsous - even those who claim a total inability to sing could humm me across the Atlantic. There're some elegant melodies & arrangeemnts I'm pleased to say.
 
Thanks for taking the time to listen, Rayc. Your comments here and in the MP3 clinic are always constructive, positive and welcomed. You put a lot of effort into listening to and commenting on the songs, and put me to shame. Like you, I have difficulties with soundclick. Unlike you, I'm not patient enough to persevere, and I'd like to comment much more than I do.
 
I had a chance to listen to all over the weekend, and without going into a song by song critique, I will offer these slight comments on the ones I liked the best.

GZ: I loved your treatment of nymorningstar's lyrics. Your sound is so unique, I would know that it's you after the first 2-3 words! Great, bluesy feel, though I thought the rhythm guitar was a tad too far forward in the mix. Your vocals are full of feeling and energy, which is something I can learn from.

cnix: Your version of Manslick's song is outstanding. I hear early John Lodge (Moody Blues) in your vocals. The openness of the track really grabbed me...really sounded like a big room. Butchery? I don't think so.

Manslick: I was especially curious to hear your song. I don't know what I expected (a Broadway show tune treatment, perhaps, LOL), but I didn't expect this! Well done!

I wish I had the time to comment more on everyone's efforts, but I have to squeeze this in between when I get up at 5am and leave for work at 6.

-Mike
 
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