Going for a 70's Country Vibe

chrisharris

King of Bling
Hi. I used to live here, but not in a very long time.

Somebody left lyrics for a song on my desk. Just verses. I thought they were kinda' cool, so I did a quick demo. I'm not the right guy to sing it, but I was hoping to get some feedback on the general mix before I bother a real singer.

Thanks,
Chris

[edit] Updated file to one called 10.4.19; after Chili's comment
 

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  • Promises Made - 10.4.19.mp3
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Chili

Site Moderator
Nice melody. I can't come up with melodies like that. I wish I could. So yeah, good song and arrangement.

This goes back to our conversation about translation and the low end. I'm just not hearing it on this one and it's probably nice and solid on your speakers. Whereas my song was pounding on mine and you're like, "Where's the Beef?"

The only thing I didn't like in this tune was that little crash cymbal that shows up every so often. It just doesn't fit the song. You could probably get away with no crash at all.

Some of your early stuff still gets a listen every once in a while. The better off dad stuff and that one song I helped you on bass, Be there.

yeah man.
 

chrisharris

King of Bling
Nice melody. I can't come up with melodies like that. I wish I could. So yeah, good song and arrangement.

This goes back to our conversation about translation and the low end. I'm just not hearing it on this one and it's probably nice and solid on your speakers. Whereas my song was pounding on mine and you're like, "Where's the Beef?"

The only thing I didn't like in this tune was that little crash cymbal that shows up every so often. It just doesn't fit the song. You could probably get away with no crash at all.

Some of your early stuff still gets a listen every once in a while. The better off dad stuff and that one song I helped you on bass, Be there.

yeah man.


I appreciate the listen and the comments. I'm 100% sure it'll blow out my speakers in my car today when I check it. Thanks man.
 

SteveAlton

New member
I'm not a MIX guy, but a song guy

So I do alot of Country and yes this is older school, but is cool with the instruments you use. Can definitely be made modern Country...Since there is no Chorus on this I would get this down to 3:30-3:42 max (though my tunes are always a tick over 4, so I should talk)....at about 3:15 the Bridge comes in. I would probably try to get that in there a minute or so sooner.

Harmonies sprinkled into this would be nice.

I know you used someone else's lyric, but if it were me I would lose a couple verses. Those deemed less important. Do you have a lyric sheet you can post?
 

chrisharris

King of Bling
I'm not a MIX guy, but a song guy

So I do alot of Country and yes this is older school, but is cool with the instruments you use. Can definitely be made modern Country...Since there is no Chorus on this I would get this down to 3:30-3:42 max (though my tunes are always a tick over 4, so I should talk)....at about 3:15 the Bridge comes in. I would probably try to get that in there a minute or so sooner.

Harmonies sprinkled into this would be nice.

I know you used someone else's lyric, but if it were me I would lose a couple verses. Those deemed less important. Do you have a lyric sheet you can post?

Thanks for the thoughtful listen. I’ve gone back and forth on whether to drop more verses. He actually wrote 8 of them, lol.

I’ll post them next
 

chrisharris

King of Bling
Verse:

My back is wrecked, and it cracks at the dawn
Shake out my boots...put the kettle on
Push thru the hurt...my word is my bond.
...given to Daddy, 11 years on
...it was given to Dad, he's 11 years gone

Verse:
I's raised right here, in the "remember when,"
If you're from here, then we're probably kin
From a restless child to a rebellious teen,
...To a worn out old man, a whole world unseen,
...I'm a tired old man, a whole world I ain't seen.

Verse:
Triumphs and failures have all happened here,
Working this land we've owned all these years,
Kept in the family through blood, sweat and Fear,
Of one terrible promise that rings in my ears,
A terrible word given through tears.

Verse:
Been fightin the banks and the floods and the fires
Every hour, every minute, just a little more tired
Used up and angry, heart full of barbed wire
Bitter for living a dead man's desire
I'm bitter, I'm living stuck in the mire

Verse:
Don't know for sure when we die, where we go,
If I broke the promise, would he even know?
With Ma gone last spring, and Daddy just bones,
This place feels a lot like a ghost of my home,
The old place just feels like a ghost of my home

Bridge:
Promises Made, and Promises Kept
Wish that I could, but I cannot forget
The words that I swore, as he took his last breath
Not knowing they'd lead to a life of regret
Not knowing they'd bleed through everything yet

solo:

Verse:
My back is wrecked, and it cracks at the dawn
Shake out these thoughts...put the kettle on,
"Take care of this place" ... well my word is my bond
Given to Daddy, 11 years on
Given to dad, he's 11 years gone.
 

TalismanRich

Well-known member
If you're going for the 70s country feel, its missing two things. It cries for some soft fiddle playing to bridge between the verses, and I really didn't feel the bass. I think a string bass would fill in nicely, maybe give it a more solid foundation.

I dig the story, but it feels a bit like some early Dylan songs that just had massive numbers of verses.

Maybe drop the repeat of the last verse, move the 5th verse to last, and make a bit of a switch... something like

Don't know for sure when we die, where we go,
If I broke the promise, would he even know?
With Ma gone last spring, and Daddy just bones,
This place feels a lot like a ghost of my home,
but it was given to daddy and he's 11 years gone.


Do the last verse in the style as you did on the repeat.

You still get the whole story (ain't that what country music does best?) but it ties your feeling of regret about maybe letting the place go back to the first verse to complete the circle.

Just a thought.....
 

chrisharris

King of Bling
If you're going for the 70s country feel, its missing two things. It cries for some soft fiddle playing to bridge between the verses, and I really didn't feel the bass. I think a string bass would fill in nicely, maybe give it a more solid foundation.

I dig the story, but it feels a bit like some early Dylan songs that just had massive numbers of verses.

Maybe drop the repeat of the last verse, move the 5th verse to last, and make a bit of a switch... something like

Don't know for sure when we die, where we go,
If I broke the promise, would he even know?
With Ma gone last spring, and Daddy just bones,
This place feels a lot like a ghost of my home,
but it was given to daddy and he's 11 years gone.


Do the last verse in the style as you did on the repeat.

You still get the whole story (ain't that what country music does best?) but it ties your feeling of regret about maybe letting the place go back to the first verse to complete the circle.

Just a thought.....

I appreciate the thoughts a lot. I think I’m going to let the writer/singer make the edits, if any. He may put 2 verses back in and kill the “bridge” that I wrote.

I’m not really too concerned about the time. We aren’t making radio hits here. But that’s no reason to have extra words/verses.

In short - I think I agree with you, and I appreciate the time you took
 

jimistone

long standing member
I appreciate the thoughts a lot. I think I’m going to let the writer/singer make the edits, if any. He may put 2 verses back in and kill the “bridge” that I wrote.

I’m not really too concerned about the time. We aren’t making radio hits here. But that’s no reason to have extra words/verses.

In short - I think I agree with you, and I appreciate the time you took
Since the song is still in the works I think you are looking more for comment on the tune itself and not so much the mix right?

I think the tune has potential. I like the chord changes and melody you applied. The subject matter is pretty good for country. Keeping the homestead going because of a promise to dad, missing out on a big world out there, and aging.

In my opinion, as is, the lyric is a little too dark and depressing. Also, it begs the question: "if mom and dad are gone why in the hell are you still there busting your ass?"
So, I think the song needs an uplift. I think a chorus with a soaring melody that explains why the guy is still there breaking his back. The pay off of the song you know?

Something like:
Daddy you are always on my mind,
Can you see the homeplace through my eyes?
I hung it in through pain and doubt
You and mama would be so proud.
I know that now you're both hand in hand,
That promise made me a better man...
Blood is thicker than water.

Or something along those lines...to give the listener that "yeah, I get it now!" moment in the song.
I like the bridge by the way, but the "a life of regret" line in it would not fit an uplifting chorus.

People love a song about a driven person keeping a pro.ise through thick and thin out of love, and respect, and to honor kinfolks...with pride and no regrets.
Not so much a song that regret is the theme of the song.
Does that make sense?

I agree that the song would benifit from losing a verse or 2
My 2 cents
 
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JamGorby

New member
As others have said, there's a lack of bass. Not necessarily low end in general, but bass as in instrumentation. The rest of the tones work well for the song.
I would suggest layering some vocals harmonies/backing vocals in the bridge, I'm thinking the first three lines with the last two solo. There's a build up there that is just asking for it, IMO.
 

PDP

There once was a note
I thought it was quite good, a lot more done well than not. I didn't feel anything was missing in the music, my only nit, would be that the story isn't rock solid at holding my attention. It's good but not gripping. To set apart from the herd I think you need a gripping story line. Otherwise great job.
 
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