I like the song and it seems I've heard this guy before, probably from your posts in the MP3 clinic. I think he's got some great songs.
For a first try, it's good. Way better than my first try.
You've got only two angles and then finally a third near the end of the song. Then the performer isn't doing anything besides sitting there and singing. This adds up to some boring footage. The song has REALLY got to be good to carry the video and in this case, maybe not.
You need to add more action to the video. Random shots of him in the street or someplace else and singing will help. Maybe loosely tied to the storyline or a line in the song, but not really necessary. Shorter takes of each scene or angle. You don't want to stay too long with one camera shot, 5 seconds then move on. I think it flows smoothly when you sync scene changes with the phrasing of the lyrics.
I think with a song like this, you can get really creative without too much production.
Cool, thanks for posting.