D Key - early test mix

JDOD

therecordingrebels.com
Alright,

Not sure what I want to do with this one- there's parts I like and parts I don't like.

The chorus just starts, its like there's no build up to it. It definitely needs a bigger drum fill on the way in but I think it might be more than that.

Can't decide whether the chorus vocal needs a full scream a bit of a scream or something else. Sounds gutless as it is.

Kind of like the verses even though they sound a bit like Placebo.

The end is weird - needs and extra couple of bars - feels like it ends too quick.

View attachment D Key Test mix 3.mp3
 

ido1957

9K Gold Member
The vocals are a little under everything, they do pop out in spots like verse 2. I would up those just a touch. I'm liking the vocal choices you've made with the long phrase/scream myself. As a singer who has done one song in my life with that type of thing, I added lots of tracks of the drawn out part and with the right mixing it sounded pretty good.

Great guitars - the rhythm and lead choices sound excellent on my system. Nice transition at the back end with the quieter then louder part.

I'll let you decide on the pattern/arrangement as it's your baby. I like what you've written and arranged thus far, and I'm of the mind of write it, record it and call it done. Sort of like "recorded the warm up as it was the best version".
 

Robus

New member
I assume you're still working out the composition and arrangement. That's what I'm going to comment on, take it or leave it. There's a good song here if you strip it down to its essentials, but also some parts that seem random and meandering. For example, I liked everything through about 0:40. That seemed to be your intro, first verse, and some kind of interlude. It was all very direct and had a feeling of purpose to it. I thought the same about the part I took to be your chorus right before the 1 minute mark. But the part in-between those two is an example of what I meant by random and meandering. It seems aimless and went on for almost 20 seconds, which is an eternity in pop terms and long enough to dissipate the momentum you had built up over the first three quarters of a minute. Have you thought about going from that interlude that ends at 0:40 straight back into your second verse? So the structure up to that point would be Intro-V1-Interlude-V2--Interlude (maybe abbreviated)-Chorus. There a few more places in the remainder of the recording where, if you could dispense with parts that digress, the song would be better and tighter for it. Just a suggestion.

Your playing sounds good. You're in your element when doing those rhythm riffs. I don't have anything to add about the mix at this point in the process.
 

JDOD

therecordingrebels.com
Yeah, that meandering riff that just repeats four times in different modes is gonna get reworked and chopped up.

I like the verses of this song, I think the choruses are a little cheesey though
 

Robus

New member
I've got a new song like that too. Should have been finished weeks ago but am just not yet happy with the chorus. Needs to be a little hookier, a little more catchy and arresting. So I just keep trying new things. Sooner or later I'll come up with something I like and then it will be done.
 

Armistice

Son of Yoda
Turn the vocals up JDude. You sound a little pitchy in the chorus in places - if you're not sold on that part of the song itself, maybe try more words in there and less long notes - might kick it along a bit more. The guitar line coming in at 3.15 in the slow bit sounds a bit fizzy, low and "uncommitted" - not sure the song needs it. Rest of the playing sounds pretty damn good. Keep at it. Top song in there somewhere.:thumbs up:
 

JDOD

therecordingrebels.com
Turn the vocals up JDude. You sound a little pitchy in the chorus in places - if you're not sold on that part of the song itself, maybe try more words in there and less long notes - might kick it along a bit more. The guitar line coming in at 3.15 in the slow bit sounds a bit fizzy, low and "uncommitted" - not sure the song needs it. Rest of the playing sounds pretty damn good. Keep at it. Top song in there somewhere.:thumbs up:

Been thinking through an idea with this now, will try and work out how to play it and arrange it this week to record it next weekend. Gonna fully scream the chorus too, make it stand out a bit more.
 
I liked the arrangement you have here. It doesn't seem like you need a big build up to the chorus. Some of the lead guitar stuff could come up a hair. And the vocals could come up to, I didn't really understand any of the words. I like the way the chorus melody is sung, just some pitchiness but I liked it.
 

rayc

retroreprobate
Armistice's idea re the chorus lyric/melody is a good: even repeating the word you're holding would be effective lyrically & melodically. The verse is good & is a little Placeboish but not to the detriment of anything.
intro try using the da da da section from 03.26.
 

JDOD

therecordingrebels.com
Yeah, could be an idea. I'll re-work some ideas for this one and see what comes out - definitely needs a better chorus vocal idea.
 

VomitHatSteve

Hat STYLE. Not contents.
Yeah vocals are a bit quiet and thin. The verses are probably ok, but the pre-chorus and chorus definitely need more oomph on the vocal.

The breakdown is good, but the lead on the far right is really distant and quiet.
 

Bulls Hit

Well-known member
I like the groove of this. Reminds me of Big Country. The only part I'm not keen on is the slow break around 3.00, it's a bit floydish. Vocals are good, chorus vocal could come up some. Good guitar riff and nice change up in the pre-chorus. Good job
 

JDOD

therecordingrebels.com
I like the groove of this. Reminds me of Big Country. The only part I'm not keen on is the slow break around 3.00, it's a bit floydish. Vocals are good, chorus vocal could come up some. Good guitar riff and nice change up in the pre-chorus. Good job
Cheers, Dude (I still have a track for you on my (very long) "to do" list... I'm gonna have a fiddle with the arrangement of this over the next few days and see how I feel about it.

I'm not familiar with Big Country but I have a feeling that I'm not gonna like it!
 

Bulls Hit

Well-known member
Big Country had a couple of hits in the late 80s. Scottish band I think. Your song doesn't sound anything like them, but for some reason the vocal and the groove reminded me of a song they did called Fields of Fire
 

JDOD

therecordingrebels.com
Big Country had a couple of hits in the late 80s. Scottish band I think. Your song doesn't sound anything like them, but for some reason the vocal and the groove reminded me of a song they did called Fields of Fire

Oh, I'll check it out. I'm actually starting to enjoy working on my singing a bit more.
 

Nola

Well-known member
The drums are in front of the vocals. I mean there are no rules with mixes but that does sound a bit odd.

Song wise, cool vibe. I think the vocal should be drier for the genre.
 

TripleM

Well-known member
I really liked the guitar tones. All around. I liked the bass too - good control on the low end. I think you could nudge up the bass level just a bit.

Drums sound good, but I think the overheads are loud.

The lead vocal is buried a bit. It also has more reverb on it than the other tracks. I'd make the vocal dry. The delivery also sounds a bit tentative.

Overall it's a very good job.
 
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