Incomplete (pre-demo)

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icystorm

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This is a new song I am working on as a duet, entitled "Incomplete". I would appreciate any feedback on the pre-demo backing track and lyrics. The music in the verses is sort of "hollow" for now, but I will probably add some fillers after the vocals, if needed.

Thanks! :)

https://www.box.com/s/c61da34f11d4fe0b78f1

Incomplete

Words and music by Joseph Spain
Created with ChordPulse 2.2 and Acoustica Mixcraft 6.0
Produced by Joseph Spain
Demo recording
Copyright: Joseph Spain 2012

verse 1
I wore the ghost and lived the grief
Through dark of night, through dark of day
In all the world no gods or angels sang
There has to be wonders that I can't see

chorus
Across all time and tide
Deeper than lonely
True words can find their way into one's heart
Your love can save a soul that is incomplete
Night becomes a day
Brighter than Heaven
True words can find their way into one's heart
Your love completes a soul that is incomplete

verse 2
Through emptiness I lost the will
Through dark of night, through dark of fear
Of all the world the darkness came for me
There has to be wonders that I can't see

bridge
lyrics unfinished...
 
Last edited:
Update: Earlier, I was practicing the vocals for the first verse. The clip below is just a practice session and the vocals will not be used in the demo mix. Question: Should I use the falsetto vocal in the last line or remain in the natural register?

https://www.box.com/s/769e5a0f44734227e5cd

Cheers,
Joseph
 
Joseph,
The falsetto works for me. The setting is pretty high to start with so the leap to flasetto makes an interesting change.
Good song so far. I like the niche you work from - it's become def. your own.
 
rayc said:
Joseph,
The falsetto works for me. The setting is pretty high to start with so the leap to flasetto makes an interesting change.
Good song so far. I like the niche you work from - it's become def. your own.
Click to expand...

Thanks for listening and the encouraging words, Ray.

Cheers,
Joseph
 
Joseph, I recall hearing a precious post of your which musically sounded very similar unless my memory is failing which is not beyond possibility. At the time I offered some feedback, and without hunting down the post, I do remember you mentioning at least one Gibb brother or maybe the collective. At the time, I pondered your response to my reply to your post, and thought well if you can get to sound like Barry Gibb, fair play and I was keen to see where you went with the track. I have to say that the clip is compelling and I could imagine some rich harmonies occurring in subsequent passages.

Now I have a better idea of the elements of the track by way of hearing a vocal, in context I have listened in a more in depth way to the demo track without vocals and have a few points to offer my thoughts on. I like the intervals used as the melodic platform and noted the drops which are effective when juxtaposed to the parts which reside on a tonally higher plane. I did crave a defined lift at some point toward the end of the demo and I think maybe a key change although a well worn sandal, could benefit your piece, although I do think it needs to be subtle and not simply a case of dragging the whole progression skyward. Or maybe use inversions with a couple of suspended intervals which hang just long enough to encrust the closing passage with additional tonal interest. It's a sparkling kind of arrangement with harmonic richness already, I'm also wondering if the arrangement does enough to draw the listener into a place where the lyrical content is. It's a fine line to tread, but in light of the hours one can spend creating, I guess it would be worth exploring all the angles in respect of having contrast.

Kind regards

Tim
 
That should have read previous post, sorry for the typo

regards

Tim
 
Thanks very much, Tim and killcrystal for the feedback. I am coping with the aftermath of a devastating hurricane in the U.S. right now, so my music is on the back burner for a while. I hope to return to the forum soon. Thanks again for the good feedback and kind words.

Cheers,
Joseph
 
I loved the voice, reminded me of the classic songs from the ~80's. Good work :)
 
Joseph, I wish you well with the adversity you are having to overcome and hope to see you about the place with your track when you get sorted.

all the best

Tim
 
I have to ask, is there a influence from the Bee Gees? Not to be offensive in any way, in fact, that was the second album I ever owned, so I have a deep residual respect for them. I am just curious if that is your goal here.

Best wishes to you in your recovery from the storm icy.
 
jimmys69 said:
I have to ask, is there a influence from the Bee Gees? Not to be offensive in any way, in fact, that was the second album I ever owned, so I have a deep residual respect for them. I am just curious if that is your goal here.

Best wishes to you in your recovery from the storm icy.
Click to expand...

Hi Jimmy,

Thanks for listening. Yes, Barry Gibb has been my strongest musical influence since age 7. :)

Best,
Joseph
 
Phrasemaker said:
Joseph, I wish you well with the adversity you are having to overcome and hope to see you about the place with your track when you get sorted.

all the best

Tim
Click to expand...

Thanks, Tim. It will take some time to work through this disaster aftermath, but I look forward to returning and finishing this song eventually. I am working with a very talented female Australian musician and vocalist who will sing the song with me as a duet.

Best to you, my friend. Any new material from you?
 
It looks like your song Incomplete will remain incomplete for awhile..or maybe you need your talented aussie friend to complete it..I cant wait to hear what she comes up with :-P
PS how do I post a profile pic?
 
You need a certain number of posts to get anything but the standards I think. Not sure how many... 50? Used to be anyway, it may be less now...
 
thanks fellow aussie..you are such a helpful 9 yr old :p ;)
 
holy sh!T, ICY !!!!

I've taken a break from music for about a year or more, I think... I see (hear? lol) you've ben plugging along right thru my hiatus...

wow, that sounded great. I listened to the backing track, thought it was pretty "clean" and commercial-ish...

Liking it, i didnt know what to expect when i heard the sample VOX practice take...

sounded really good... someone else put their finger on it for me, yeah, it had that 80s sound to it, early 80s or thereabouts...

yah, I can see where the "gibb" thing got brought up.

Wow, thats a really good project you got going. I came of age in the 80s, so I was impressed...

you seem to have gotten a lot more "confident" with your singing
 
MelancholyGirl said:
It looks like your song Incomplete will remain incomplete for awhile..or maybe you need your talented aussie friend to complete it..I cant wait to hear what she comes up with :-P
PS how do I post a profile pic?
Click to expand...

LOL! Ladies and gentlemen, I give you my very talented female Aussie musician and vocalist, MelancholyGirl. Excuse her wry sense of humor. LOL! She's really a sweetheart and a dear friend... and she can sing good too. :D
 
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