Tortured Soul

[morning lights]

ok, the vocalist sounds weak and unsupported. he needs to sing louder from the diaphragm. the guitar solos are a little rough, melodically could be simplified, a few of the notes don't fit. listen to some of love spirals downwards' older stuff, it's in the same vein.
like i said the riff is cool.
if you are going to ask for critiques don't expect all good comments, what's the point of that. i got ripped for my stuff, it's the only feedback i've heard yet on this site.

http://myspace.com/morninglights

 

[Nicole_Rose]

ok, the vocalist sounds weak and unsupported. he needs to sing louder from the diaphragm. the guitar solos are a little rough, melodically could be simplified, a few of the notes don't fit. listen to some of love spirals downwards' older stuff, it's in the same vein.
like i said the riff is cool.
if you are going to ask for critiques don't expect all good comments, what's the point of that. i got ripped for my stuff, it's the only feedback i've heard yet on this site.

http://myspace.com/morninglights

i don't expect all critiques to be favourable, but i expect them to be critiques and not merely shows of disrespect as you first showed to two of us. you never offered a detailed critique you mostly just laughed and said it sucked. that's not a critique, that's merely being disrespectful. and that's probably why you didn't get many counter critiques.

but thank you for finally saying something of substance. i happen to disagree with you on both issues. my issues with the vocals are that it's just slightly pitchy and the timing is slightly off in a couple of places. in my solo there's one bend i'm not completely happy with and in the last chorus there are a couple of notes that aren't timed appropriately. that's what i see with that.

anyway this is still an unfinished song. it is the song itself i am submitting, and not the recording nor the mix.

 

[Oancient1]

if you have something to say about the performance say it. i'd like to hear what you think. if there's something in your critique that rings true with me i'll work on it or my singer will. but just vague statements that the performance doesn't measure up isn't helpful at all.

The performances on the song are fine considering the audience in this forum, with all due respect to the virtuosos among us whomever them may be.

 

[true-eurt]

Nicole...I know we have discussed the song already several times, but thought I would post too...

I love the whole feel of this song...the darkness of it.. the pending doom aura of hopelessness that it exudes..the sadness...the confusion....it evokes emotions from deep within...emotions, that some may never have experienced before in their lives...and never will perhaps...BUT...it most certainly, should leave them with the impression, that no one is safe from mental torment. That, with just one slight mishap of the bwain, psychosis could take up residence, moving out the once familiar thoughts, bringing "normalcy" tumbling down around us.

The psychological profile of each and every one of us, is subject to change...the mind being a truly fragile thing, prone to breakdowns, yet it is the strongest organ within our bodies, with the strength of steel. It has the ability to withstand horrors of a hallocaust, yet crumble at the slightest dilemma of which side of the bread to butter...for those, who have experienced psychosis of the mind, the lyrics, music and the incantation of emotion seem to be strangely morbid, yet an assuring buffer...the irrational thoughts of the psychologically afflicted can see the beauty of it all...and strangely enough, those still in "normalcy" can feel the reassurance of not feeling the beauty of it(a false lull assurance of sanity)...in other words, the crazy finds beauty in the most desperate of places while the not so crazy, finds it in the safest of places....I happen to find it beautiful...

The guitar is haunting, although I am still not quite sure with the tone....it just feels like it could go one more notch up, to the place of madness the lyrics evoke...I keep listening for the very core of it all to explode at some point.

The tone and expression of Zinger's voice fits perfectly with the sane madness of it all...don't mind me, I will just be in the corner with my headphones......waiting.

 

[Whatmysay]

The content of your song is challenging and I think that is what is getting under some peoples skin and they do not even realise it and rather pick at the production. Equally those listening who are comfortable with the content and aware of the songs potential want to advise on the perfect form to carry your ideas and emotions.

I cannot remember a single songs critique thread running to 2 pages so you must be doing something right. I’m in the corner, a slight more oriental corner, with True-eurt and my headphones – In fact I’ll save my new AKGs especially for the next mix.

 

[Nicole_Rose]

The performances on the song are fine considering the audience in this forum, with all due respect to the virtuosos among us whomever them may be.

well i admit i'm no virtuoso and maybe to a virtuoso my guitar playing sucks. but i think it's full of heart and soul. thanks for your comment Oancient1

Nicole...I know we have discussed the song already several times, but thought I would post too...

I love the whole feel of this song...the darkness of it.. the pending doom aura of hopelessness that it exudes..the sadness...the confusion....it evokes emotions from deep within...emotions, that some may never have experienced before in their lives...and never will perhaps...BUT...it most certainly, should leave them with the impression, that no one is safe from mental torment. That, with just one slight mishap of the bwain, psychosis could take up residence, moving out the once familiar thoughts, bringing "normalcy" tumbling down around us.

The psychological profile of each and every one of us, is subject to change...the mind being a truly fragile thing, prone to breakdowns, yet it is the strongest organ within our bodies, with the strength of steel. It has the ability to withstand horrors of a hallocaust, yet crumble at the slightest dilemma of which side of the bread to butter...for those, who have experienced psychosis of the mind, the lyrics, music and the incantation of emotion seem to be strangely morbid, yet an assuring buffer...the irrational thoughts of the psychologically afflicted can see the beauty of it all...and strangely enough, those still in "normalcy" can feel the reassurance of not feeling the beauty of it(a false lull assurance of sanity)...in other words, the crazy finds beauty in the most desperate of places while the not so crazy, finds it in the safest of places....I happen to find it beautiful...

The guitar is haunting, although I am still not quite sure with the tone....it just feels like it could go one more notch up, to the place of madness the lyrics evoke...I keep listening for the very core of it all to explode at some point.

The tone and expression of Zinger's voice fits perfectly with the sane madness of it all...don't mind me, I will just be in the corner with my headphones......waiting.

thanks true. i think people who have had issues or been around people with issues hear it a bit differently than those who haven't. just don't hold your breath for the next mix. i want to get my friend to put drums on it before i remix.

thanks for your comments

The content of your song is challenging and I think that is what is getting under some peoples skin and they do not even realise it and rather pick at the production. Equally those listening who are comfortable with the content and aware of the songs potential want to advise on the perfect form to carry your ideas and emotions.

I cannot remember a single songs critique thread running to 2 pages so you must be doing something right. I’m in the corner, a slight more oriental corner, with True-eurt and my headphones – In fact I’ll save my new AKGs especially for the next mix.

you could be right. i don't mind criticism, even negative criticism. but it has to ring true with me for me to be able to take action on it. i think the arrangement and all the parts are there. Zinger's voice won't change. he did three takes i just have to mix them all into one. and i'll probably replay my guitar looking for a sweeter tone and fewer mess ups.

ya there have been quite a few comments on it. even some people who don't hang here much have commented. i hope the comments keep coming. i get new thoughts to think about it every time someone comments.

thanks for your comments

so as soon as i have a new mix i'll let you all know so that those of you in the corner with your headphones can use them

 

[rayc]

Sorry it took so long to get back Nicole.
It's a good song - does need a little more melodic variation between verse & chorus though.
The way it's sung means the lyrics do, generally, work for it though that's partly by swallowing a lot of last syllables etc which reduce the potential clunk..
Insanity could be dragged out & sustained a little as it's quite rushed as are the busy & & lines - though if this were emphasised it would add to the urgency & brink walking.
Soundclick was playing up quite a bit when I listened - it took 4 goes to get through the song.
As for performances - they work for me.
The rough edge on the guitar is APPROPRIATE to the theme as is the non simplistic solo - it's not about standing at a safe distance but steps back from the edge after all.
I look forward to developments.

 

[Nicole_Rose]

Sorry it took so long to get back Nicole.
It's a good song - does need a little more melodic variation between verse & chorus though.
The way it's sung means the lyrics do, generally, work for it though that's partly by swallowing a lot of last syllables etc which reduce the potential clunk..
Insanity could be dragged out & sustained a little as it's quite rushed as are the busy & & lines - though if this were emphasised it would add to the urgency & brink walking.
Soundclick was playing up quite a bit when I listened - it took 4 goes to get through the song.
As for performances - they work for me.
The rough edge on the guitar is APPROPRIATE to the theme as is the non simplistic solo - it's not about standing at a safe distance but steps back from the edge after all.
I look forward to developments.

thanks Ray. I am loathe to alter the lyrics at this point, it says so much of what i wanted to say. it's description of madness/insanity is almost perfect.

Does anyone agree with him on the subject of the lyrics? if a few of you do agree with him, i will certainly consider a rewrite.

Anyway Ray, i'll think about what you said. thanks a lot for your comments.

 

[icystorm]

Very good lyrics, Nicole, and a good recording! I like it!

Joseph (icystorm)

 

[Xeries]

Is there an additional link or is the original link used for the updated tune assuming it has been updated?

 

[Nicole_Rose]

Is there an additional link or is the original link used for the updated tune assuming it has been updated?

it hasn't been updated lately. when it is i will post an additional link