R
Rod Gervais
New member
Seeing as the antenna is the pickup on the guitar - if this worked I would think you would want to try starting there.
Z
Zgrimes
New member
true, but six of my seven electrics cause ticking....I suppose that as I shield the pick-up cavities, I could add a cap to each one....or, I could just add one to the input jack on my amp........If it's true that this won't change the sound of anything....adwaz says it won't.....I think I'd rather just have one on my amp.....I think I'll try a capacitor on the input jack on my amp..see if it works..if so, I'll take the cap off, and shield my worst ticking guitar,.. Still ticking? I'll solder the cap into the amp permanently.....then the reast of my guitars should be ok....sound good?
Z
Z
adwaz
New member
Dogs and Goats have tics, not guitars!
I think I would start at the guitar. Your "Panamax" should have the amp power covered.
The easist place to start would be the Guitar Cord. Grab one that you can unscrew the barrel from the plug, exposing the plug terminals. With the guitar and amp plugged in and ticking, hold each end of the cap leads on the Tip(hot) and sleeve (ground) of the 1/4" plug terminals. Guitar end or amp end shouldn't matter.
If the tic goes away, you could just make up a special guitar cord that would work on all your guitars and amps with out modifying them. If this doesn't work, I would start trying points in side the Guitar.
I hope that Radio Shack still sells the Assortment bag of "disc Capacitors". Just try several different ones.....
Good luck and keep us posted!
I think I would start at the guitar. Your "Panamax" should have the amp power covered.
The easist place to start would be the Guitar Cord. Grab one that you can unscrew the barrel from the plug, exposing the plug terminals. With the guitar and amp plugged in and ticking, hold each end of the cap leads on the Tip(hot) and sleeve (ground) of the 1/4" plug terminals. Guitar end or amp end shouldn't matter.
If the tic goes away, you could just make up a special guitar cord that would work on all your guitars and amps with out modifying them. If this doesn't work, I would start trying points in side the Guitar.
These little Caps have numbers on them but since I'm a moron TOO, I don't know what they mean. I think that you are just changing the capacitence of the "circuit/antenna" enough to render it inoperable as a "receiver/antenna".....
I hope that Radio Shack still sells the Assortment bag of "disc Capacitors". Just try several different ones.....
Good luck and keep us posted!
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Z
Zgrimes
New member
Yes adwaz, I agree with you and Rod, the guitar would be the logical place to add my first cap as a means of.....nipping the problem at it's source, but then I'd have one guitar that works, and 5 more to work on. ...Have you guys visited the guitar nuts website? Google guitarnuts.com if you haven't, it's worth a look, and I have pretty high hopes for the ideas you'll see there. (If you don't find it, lemme know, and I'll type in the url, cuz us old farts don't know from "pasting".....yet ) They explain how our guitars are horribly shielded when they come from the factory, even a 10 dollar component from RS has SOme kind of shielding in it, while expensive Gibson's and Fenders have none. Zip. Nada. They explain how to use adhesive foil to line the pick up cavities, and cover the backs of our pick-gaurds, totally enclosing our guitar's sensitive electronics, ( generally the most sensitive in the chain), and shunting RFI/EMI to ground. To NOt do this...well...to my mind, it's like heating a garage, with the garage door open. I've read reports from people who say that their guitars are "noticablly quieter ", and " nearly silent", after internal shielding. Also, "shoulda done this a long time ago..." is a common comment. There's pics there, at the site, and it looks like a major pain in the ass, but I'm handy, and I believe it was ....Andy (?).. who said that the "paint on" shielding works just as well, but costs a bit more. I'm gonna try both, and if the paint-on stuff works just as well for me, I'll spring for it. .....
I'm cheap, but I' also lazy...
So, here's my thinking at this point in time. I'm gonna get me some caps, toMORrow, and I'm gonna see if I can make up a cord that eliminates my freakin' tick. If so, then I should be able to instantly run all my guitars into my board. When time permits, I'm gonna start internally shielding my guitars, see if THAT will eliminate my %#$&^ tick. If it does, well...that would be the most.....elegant solution, ie to stop the interference from getting into my guitars electronics, one inch away from them. This would eliminate the need for the much larger scale projects of shielding all of my walls, ceiling, and floor, which really wouldn't be necessary where I live, if it wasn't for the damn tick in my guitar amps, and, the need to constantly monitor and possibly fix my neighbors 10 miles of e-fencing. As I said, I'm a moron when it comes to electronics, but I do know that our beloved electronics engineers spend a lot of time calculating voltages, when they design our gear. To start adding caps or resistors to that gear, while not causing changes that we can hear, and which may not hurt a thing, will still alter those carefully worked out voltages in what I would agree wound be a very minor way, but being a moron, who am I to say what exactly is "minor"? Could be, that if we reduce voltage at one point in the chain, another component may need to work harder, or less hard, causing another component to work harder.....I am a moron, yes, but I do understand that this stuff runs deep, a lot deeper than I'll ever care to comprehend.....Also, it's just less..elegant, than the body cavity shielding idea. So. I get my axes back in action with a cap. (IhopeIhopeIhope), and then start shielding guitars as time allows. If my first, newly shielded guitar causes no tick, with an off the shelf cord, then I'll have one that's ...right, and five to go. Could be that shielding won't stop the tick, while the cap does. if that's the case, I'll solder a cap into my body cavity, and hopefully have a generally much quieter, shielded guitar, with no tick, and five more to go.....and wouldn't that be just freakin excellent.....!!
INAworld where all guitars behave........
I'm still not quiting the e-fence project either. I'm gonna find or build some kind of gadget that'll tick like GregoryfreakinHines....(tapdancer), and I'm gonna cruise the hood, scanning anything and everything with a wire on it....
do underwire bras fit that criteria..?........why YES!! AAAIIIEE believe they DO!!....There's this babe down the road....wait'll I go down there with a shoe-box fulla wires and D-cells, and start "airport-scanning" her with a set of rabbit ears, single coils stuck on 'em with duct-tape....."...Lemme just get....under here......yea......right ....there.....better just do it one more time,..........just to be...safe...ok......and...one more time on the other side....I don't wanna miss any....free radicals..."
See? THAT'S the kinda shit this 'ol man lives for..............
Once again, I wanna thank everybody, even the guy who suggested that I should poke a hole in my speaker with a paper clip, (not here) , cuz any input is good input, helps us think about what to try, what not to. We're really getting down to it now, at least I think we are, and if nothing else, we've got some seriously reasonable things to try. I will indeed continue to post here, until I finally flick my tick, one damn way or the other. You guys are great. Shoulda come here a long time ago.
Zgrimes
I'm cheap, but I' also lazy...
So, here's my thinking at this point in time. I'm gonna get me some caps, toMORrow, and I'm gonna see if I can make up a cord that eliminates my freakin' tick. If so, then I should be able to instantly run all my guitars into my board. When time permits, I'm gonna start internally shielding my guitars, see if THAT will eliminate my %#$&^ tick. If it does, well...that would be the most.....elegant solution, ie to stop the interference from getting into my guitars electronics, one inch away from them. This would eliminate the need for the much larger scale projects of shielding all of my walls, ceiling, and floor, which really wouldn't be necessary where I live, if it wasn't for the damn tick in my guitar amps, and, the need to constantly monitor and possibly fix my neighbors 10 miles of e-fencing. As I said, I'm a moron when it comes to electronics, but I do know that our beloved electronics engineers spend a lot of time calculating voltages, when they design our gear. To start adding caps or resistors to that gear, while not causing changes that we can hear, and which may not hurt a thing, will still alter those carefully worked out voltages in what I would agree wound be a very minor way, but being a moron, who am I to say what exactly is "minor"? Could be, that if we reduce voltage at one point in the chain, another component may need to work harder, or less hard, causing another component to work harder.....I am a moron, yes, but I do understand that this stuff runs deep, a lot deeper than I'll ever care to comprehend.....Also, it's just less..elegant, than the body cavity shielding idea. So. I get my axes back in action with a cap. (IhopeIhopeIhope), and then start shielding guitars as time allows. If my first, newly shielded guitar causes no tick, with an off the shelf cord, then I'll have one that's ...right, and five to go. Could be that shielding won't stop the tick, while the cap does. if that's the case, I'll solder a cap into my body cavity, and hopefully have a generally much quieter, shielded guitar, with no tick, and five more to go.....and wouldn't that be just freakin excellent.....!!
INAworld where all guitars behave........
I'm still not quiting the e-fence project either. I'm gonna find or build some kind of gadget that'll tick like GregoryfreakinHines....(tapdancer), and I'm gonna cruise the hood, scanning anything and everything with a wire on it....
do underwire bras fit that criteria..?........why YES!! AAAIIIEE believe they DO!!....There's this babe down the road....wait'll I go down there with a shoe-box fulla wires and D-cells, and start "airport-scanning" her with a set of rabbit ears, single coils stuck on 'em with duct-tape....."...Lemme just get....under here......yea......right ....there.....better just do it one more time,..........just to be...safe...ok......and...one more time on the other side....I don't wanna miss any....free radicals..."
See? THAT'S the kinda shit this 'ol man lives for..............
Once again, I wanna thank everybody, even the guy who suggested that I should poke a hole in my speaker with a paper clip, (not here) , cuz any input is good input, helps us think about what to try, what not to. We're really getting down to it now, at least I think we are, and if nothing else, we've got some seriously reasonable things to try. I will indeed continue to post here, until I finally flick my tick, one damn way or the other. You guys are great. Shoulda come here a long time ago.
Zgrimes
adwaz
New member
Hey Z,
I actually had some time this morning to RESEARH "Electric fence Interference"......
Seems that you are not the only one out there with a problem. Several HAM radio operators have also had these problems. In each case, the only way they got it fixed was to fix the fence. 4 things to look for: Weeds touching fence, corroded gate hooks or splices, bad or missing insulators and insuficient grounding of the controller. 1 guy used a portable AM radio tuned in to the click and started driving till he found the culprit fence. Click gets louder the closer you get. Your problem fence should be within a 1 mile radius. Good time to meet the neighbors, Huh?
I actually had some time this morning to RESEARH "Electric fence Interference"......
Seems that you are not the only one out there with a problem. Several HAM radio operators have also had these problems. In each case, the only way they got it fixed was to fix the fence. 4 things to look for: Weeds touching fence, corroded gate hooks or splices, bad or missing insulators and insuficient grounding of the controller. 1 guy used a portable AM radio tuned in to the click and started driving till he found the culprit fence. Click gets louder the closer you get. Your problem fence should be within a 1 mile radius. Good time to meet the neighbors, Huh?
cakewalkKaKed
HOORAY FOR BOOBIES !!!
cracking good read everybody ... keep us posted z
Z
Zgrimes
New member
Thanks Kake! Glad to see yer still with us! And thanks for doing the research adwaz, but it sounds like you found the same site that Thunder posted for us about.....a week ago(?).....Great reading, and I also started checking in with the "Hams", about then. I'm afraid you may be right. I may just have to go back to the plan to....
A; Buy a small battery powered guitar amp to use as a signal generator, and drive around with it. (Rod's idea and a good one)
B; Find a portable AM radio which I got one bud id doan woik too good proly cuz it smells like a dead beer, and use IT to scan the hood.
4; Buy a cheap short wave radio that will play the 'aircraft-band', cuz that's an even higher freq than AM and if I get anywhere near my source, it'll tick like the valves on a '63 Chrysler. ( still need to know if the "aircraft-band" will play on any Short Wave radio, cuz I found one (SW) on-line for like 9 bucks.)
or E; build something myself, with maybe a single coil pick-up, that would plug into my trucks cig-lighter, and maybe play through my trucks stereo, so that I could just keep it in my truck forever, until I'm dead, and scan for bad fences every time I leave the house, forever, until I die, or go comPLETly insane, whichever comes first.....
....but then, here's the thing. Today, the old lady brought me home some disc capacitors, and after trying a bunch of them, I found one that worked....
GOTCHA!!!! NEVER EVEN SAW THAT COMIN DIDJA!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
It did. It worked. ....well...ok. I need to quantify that. It ....sorta worked.
She brought home one of each, from the Shack, and the smaller caps did nothing at all, but when I got to the largest of the selection, a 0.01pF, which has ALLways been MYYY personal favorite disc capacitor........?!! .....
I crossed the hot and ground points on the guitar end of a guitar cord, as adwaz suggested, and things did indeed begin to happen. First, I lost a lot of buzz, it got a good bit quieter, and then for a moment, I thought adwaz had won himself a goat. I couldn't hear the #$@%^$ %$#&$% $#%^$% ticking!!
Then however, I realized that it was still there, but it was indeed MUch quieter. I'd say that it was only half as loud with the cap, as it was without it.
Thing is I ran out of time, had to go somewhere, so I haven't yet really fooled around with this thing. But! It is indeed possible that with some tinkerin', I may be able to eliminate the tick, with adwaz's disc capacitor!!!! It's also possible that I will destroy my amp, because we are both admittedly morons, completely without a clue so don't try this at home folks cuz ya gotta leave that to us ekspurts cuz D; I may also eLECtrcute myself which would please my sister to no end, bore my wife, and bum out my dog...
...At one point, when I was screwing around with my new capacitor, it definately changed the tone of my guitar, but I believe that I didn't really have a good connection at that point.....thinking about it....a cap holds a little juice, right? But in this case, one lead going to ground, it's acting more like a resistor, with little or no resistance, cuz what's goin in, goes right back out, through the ground...right? Somebody please help us out here, before I break something, or make my sister's day. Why is this working?...kind of working..... Does the fact that this bizarre tactic diminishes my amp buzz mean that my guitar needs to be rewired? Could this tactic harm my amp? guitar?, ...sister?....
I'll be tinkerin away with this. More at eleven.
Current Standings in the Goat Contest
#1 adwaz who actually came up with an idea that effected my tick, and did NOT make it louder.
C bigtom who was onto the fence idea at post #6, which is probably the true culprit here.
4 Thunder, who also jumped on the fence idea very quicky, and helped me to understand it with wisdom and websites.
ahhhh 9; Rod, who just keeps coming up with ideas that make PERfect sence and MAAAN that pisses me off.....
B; Andy who reminded us of the guitarnuts, and the idea of internal shielding.
and .....G; Kake, who let's face it doesn't stand a chance in hell at any goat steaks.......ahhhhh goat LOVin' !!, cuz he doesn't have any more of a clue than I do, but he's fun to have around, so we'll keep him anyway.
(don't worry Kake,. I'll send you some Beddy pics, no matter how this turns out.)
We're startin' to get somewhere now boys!! Thanks for the help.
Zgrimes
A; Buy a small battery powered guitar amp to use as a signal generator, and drive around with it. (Rod's idea and a good one)
B; Find a portable AM radio which I got one bud id doan woik too good proly cuz it smells like a dead beer, and use IT to scan the hood.
4; Buy a cheap short wave radio that will play the 'aircraft-band', cuz that's an even higher freq than AM and if I get anywhere near my source, it'll tick like the valves on a '63 Chrysler. ( still need to know if the "aircraft-band" will play on any Short Wave radio, cuz I found one (SW) on-line for like 9 bucks.)
or E; build something myself, with maybe a single coil pick-up, that would plug into my trucks cig-lighter, and maybe play through my trucks stereo, so that I could just keep it in my truck forever, until I'm dead, and scan for bad fences every time I leave the house, forever, until I die, or go comPLETly insane, whichever comes first.....
....but then, here's the thing. Today, the old lady brought me home some disc capacitors, and after trying a bunch of them, I found one that worked....
GOTCHA!!!! NEVER EVEN SAW THAT COMIN DIDJA!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
It did. It worked. ....well...ok. I need to quantify that. It ....sorta worked.
She brought home one of each, from the Shack, and the smaller caps did nothing at all, but when I got to the largest of the selection, a 0.01pF, which has ALLways been MYYY personal favorite disc capacitor........?!! .....
I crossed the hot and ground points on the guitar end of a guitar cord, as adwaz suggested, and things did indeed begin to happen. First, I lost a lot of buzz, it got a good bit quieter, and then for a moment, I thought adwaz had won himself a goat. I couldn't hear the #$@%^$ %$#&$% $#%^$% ticking!!
Then however, I realized that it was still there, but it was indeed MUch quieter. I'd say that it was only half as loud with the cap, as it was without it.
Thing is I ran out of time, had to go somewhere, so I haven't yet really fooled around with this thing. But! It is indeed possible that with some tinkerin', I may be able to eliminate the tick, with adwaz's disc capacitor!!!! It's also possible that I will destroy my amp, because we are both admittedly morons, completely without a clue so don't try this at home folks cuz ya gotta leave that to us ekspurts cuz D; I may also eLECtrcute myself which would please my sister to no end, bore my wife, and bum out my dog...
...At one point, when I was screwing around with my new capacitor, it definately changed the tone of my guitar, but I believe that I didn't really have a good connection at that point.....thinking about it....a cap holds a little juice, right? But in this case, one lead going to ground, it's acting more like a resistor, with little or no resistance, cuz what's goin in, goes right back out, through the ground...right? Somebody please help us out here, before I break something, or make my sister's day. Why is this working?...kind of working..... Does the fact that this bizarre tactic diminishes my amp buzz mean that my guitar needs to be rewired? Could this tactic harm my amp? guitar?, ...sister?....
I'll be tinkerin away with this. More at eleven.
Current Standings in the Goat Contest
#1 adwaz who actually came up with an idea that effected my tick, and did NOT make it louder.
C bigtom who was onto the fence idea at post #6, which is probably the true culprit here.
4 Thunder, who also jumped on the fence idea very quicky, and helped me to understand it with wisdom and websites.
ahhhh 9; Rod, who just keeps coming up with ideas that make PERfect sence and MAAAN that pisses me off.....
B; Andy who reminded us of the guitarnuts, and the idea of internal shielding.
and .....G; Kake, who let's face it doesn't stand a chance in hell at any goat steaks.......ahhhhh goat LOVin' !!, cuz he doesn't have any more of a clue than I do, but he's fun to have around, so we'll keep him anyway.
(don't worry Kake,. I'll send you some Beddy pics, no matter how this turns out.)
We're startin' to get somewhere now boys!! Thanks for the help.
Zgrimes
cakewalkKaKed
HOORAY FOR BOOBIES !!!
"and .....G; Kake, who let's face it doesn't stand a chance in hell at any goat steaks" <- pah !!! i wanted this hot minx in ligerie,thats not the "eating" i meant..
glad your getting there z :thumbsup:
glad your getting there z :thumbsup:
adwaz
New member
Z,
YEEE HA!
Since I am an admitted moron, I actually went an got a guitar cord, took it apart and soldered a small disc cap' across tip and sleeve just to see what would happen. I personally couldn't tell any difference in sound or tone with it on there.
I am tickled that you at least got "some" relief from the ticking by trying different caps.
Some one with more knowledge then US, maybe could tell you the exact value of capacitor to use......
Keep us posted......
YEEE HA!
Since I am an admitted moron, I actually went an got a guitar cord, took it apart and soldered a small disc cap' across tip and sleeve just to see what would happen. I personally couldn't tell any difference in sound or tone with it on there.
I am tickled that you at least got "some" relief from the ticking by trying different caps.
Some one with more knowledge then US, maybe could tell you the exact value of capacitor to use......
Keep us posted......
adwaz
New member
Z
Zgrimes
New member
cakwaklKaked you is a damn ANImal !!!...tell ya what, my "tick" still ain't cured, although we may be close.....find a solution to my problem, and I'll throw in a set a hip boots for ya.......a course then you couldn't see the fishnets......
think about it....Lemme know...
Yep Adwaz, (You've earned yourself a capital letter from now on) We may be onto something here. Glad to hear that I'm not the only guy on the planet who has a guitar cord with a cap on it ! Thanks for doing that! I agree, we need a real electronics guy at this point....tell us how to proceed, tell us what cap to use.....tell us that if we keep it up we'll never be able to spawn children....tell us that people like us are the reason that you should need a license to buy a guitar amp.....I dunno...tell us sumpthin'.....
I've gotta deal with a plumbing problem tonight, but when I get a chance, I think I'll sport around this forum a bit, see if I can find Edison's grand-child....
Gotta be some wizz kids around here someplace........
hmmm..
Z
think about it....Lemme know...
Yep Adwaz, (You've earned yourself a capital letter from now on) We may be onto something here. Glad to hear that I'm not the only guy on the planet who has a guitar cord with a cap on it ! Thanks for doing that! I agree, we need a real electronics guy at this point....tell us how to proceed, tell us what cap to use.....tell us that if we keep it up we'll never be able to spawn children....tell us that people like us are the reason that you should need a license to buy a guitar amp.....I dunno...tell us sumpthin'.....
I've gotta deal with a plumbing problem tonight, but when I get a chance, I think I'll sport around this forum a bit, see if I can find Edison's grand-child....
Gotta be some wizz kids around here someplace........
hmmm..
Z
adwaz
New member
What Happened to Z?
OK,
Every one who has been watching this thread, probably wants to know what ever became of the Tick problem......
Z has disappeared.....What could have happened?
#1- The goat got wind of this thread and finally put Z in his place....Hospital (Groin Trama)
#2- "Cake" couldn't stand it and Flew to the US to party with Z and the Goat
#3- Z went out to visit the neighbors about the "Fence" thing and hasn't been seen since.
#4- Z went out to visit the HOT neighbor lady and hasn't been seen since....
#5- Z's sister showed up and he hasn't been seen since.
#6- Z's plumbing problem had a Tick,Tick....Tick in it and he had a nervous breakdown.
#8- Z gave up on his plan to build a studio.
#9- Z's wife said...."Enough is enough"
#10- It's the Christmas holiday season and Z doesn't have time for this now.
What do you think?
OK,
Every one who has been watching this thread, probably wants to know what ever became of the Tick problem......
Z has disappeared.....What could have happened?
#1- The goat got wind of this thread and finally put Z in his place....Hospital (Groin Trama)
#2- "Cake" couldn't stand it and Flew to the US to party with Z and the Goat
#3- Z went out to visit the neighbors about the "Fence" thing and hasn't been seen since.
#4- Z went out to visit the HOT neighbor lady and hasn't been seen since....
#5- Z's sister showed up and he hasn't been seen since.
#6- Z's plumbing problem had a Tick,Tick....Tick in it and he had a nervous breakdown.
#8- Z gave up on his plan to build a studio.
#9- Z's wife said...."Enough is enough"
#10- It's the Christmas holiday season and Z doesn't have time for this now.
What do you think?
Z
Zgrimes
New member
Nice try Adwaz. Close. On all counts. But the main reason I've been gone is cuz my damned computer crashed. It took a while to get it straightened out. So here's the thing. I was all set to put an end to my tick problem; dug up some old single coils and got one working and I was working on a portable tick detector, made out of the single coil and a preamp that I rigged up to run on batteries that I could plug into my trucks stereo, and I was gettin' nothin'. Couldn't figure it out until I turned my Super Champ on, and found out that my tick, was gone. Poof. Gone. Nutin. Silencio. I know. I should be happy. Right?
Thing is. I'm not. I wanted to chase the @#$#er down and grab it by the throat. I wanted to feel the bastard squirm!! I wanted it's veins, in my teeth!!
It's very balls, on my mantle. Little glass jar. But no. After all this, I am not to be allowed my vengance. My tick has escaped my grasp....
I did however, finally catch up with my neighbor, coupla days earlier. He was pulling out of his driveway in an 18 wheeler, when I grabbed a hold of his fuel tank. He stopped, when he looked out his window and saw me dragging on the ground, and asked me what the hell was wrong with me. "It's the ticking." I said, and he gave me a phone number for Social Services. He said they did wonders for his sister. "NO!" I said. "IT'S MY AMP!!, and explained about the ticking, the amp, the fences, the capacitors, cake and the goat, the whole damn thing. "I shoulda listened to BigTom WEEKS ago." I sobbed, and he said, "Ok. I'll be back in about 7 days." "NO!!!" I screamed. "YOU CANT'T GO CUZ YA GOTTA GO INSIDE AND TURN YOUR AMP ON, RIGHT NOW, AND SEE IF IT TICKS!!!".....Well, he was just looking at me, like he thought he might need to pull out his piece and defend himself. He said, "I'll be back in a week." I said, "I'll piss in your garden." He said, "You need help." I said, "Directly on your vegatables." He said, "Gimme a BREAK!!." I said, "Turn your amp on, right now, or I'll stuff your mailbox fulla goat shit." and he said "FINE!!" , set his brakes and stomped back into the house. I followed him, grinning from ear to ear, cuz I won, and he didn't. (I know. I'm shameless.) He unpacked his guitar, plugged it in, jumped about 8 inches off the floor, and threw his 43 year old Strat against the wall. His amp smelled....funny, and it was making a.... crackling sound. He looked kinda....blue. I said, "It's not ticking.", and suddenly he didn't look blue anymore, and he didn't look like he was afraid he might have to defend himself either. He looked red. He looked like he was gonna kill something. Really soon. He was also looking at me. So, I ran away, screaming like a little girl, back to my trailer, and hid under a pile of wire, and the box that I found all the pickups in, for two days. When I finally gathered the courage to come out, I found my crashed computer, and then, the absence of my tick. I just stared at my amp for about an hour....ok. I stared at my amp for two more days, I admit it, cuz that's the first step, right? Ya gotta admit it? OK! stop SCREAMING AT ME!! I aDMIT it. and then I guess I just kind of fell into dispair. I really wanted to nail that SOB. So, for the past three nights, I've been screwing around with all my neighbor's electric fences, trying to bring my tick back to life, so that I can kill it. Ya know? Those things have a lot bigger kick to 'em than ya might think. It's cool though. Ya get used to it after the first six or eight times.......
I gotta go.
It's getting dark outside.......
Z
Z
Zgrimes
New member
Ok. I just re-read my last post, and realized that everybody is thinking that I should take my neighbor's advise, and call Social Services, and here's the thing. I did. I looked up the number, swallowed my pride, and called them up, but just FYI, they didn't know anything at all about amps, guitars, or why my amp is ticking. The woman actually yelled at me, said I was tying up the line, said someone with a real problem could be trying to call. So I hung up, and I gotta admit, I felt bad, cuz it was true. What if some guy was going CRAZy cuz he couldn't find a date, and here I was tying up the line. But I got off, and hopefully, if that guy is out there, maybe he got through. Maybe they hooked him up with my neighbor's sister. Still, she didn't have to yell at me. The cops didn't. Firemen either. Neither did the Priest, the Rabbi or the Babtist Minister. They were all completely useless, but at least they were nice about it.....
Ok. I gotta go. It's getting dark out again, and I need to put some new batteries in my helmet.
Z
Ok. I gotta go. It's getting dark out again, and I need to put some new batteries in my helmet.
Z
Jeff_D
New member
So, what did you have to do to fix that computer? Did you have to replace any hardware?
Z
Zgrimes
New member
Hey, No. No hardware necessary. First, I loaded my goat into my van.
She hates the van, and it was very painful. Second, I went to the truckstop, and pimped her out, which was easy, as ususual. Once I had a cool fiddy in my hot little hand, I went to Best Buy and purchased "System Mechanic",
by iolo Industries, on the advise of a friend who actually knows how computers work. It normally costs fifty bucks, but I got it on sale for thirty.
I spent the extra twenty on a bottle of gin that was still three quarters full, a
cool pair of Keds I found at a yard sale, a set of slightly used Ernie's, some beef-jerky, and a bottle of aspirin for my goat. "System Mechanic" loaded easily into my 64-bit Vista Home Premium system, running Firefox, and really cleaned things up. Everything started to run normally again, and after I cleaned a whole lotta shit out of my files, she was right back up to speed. I'm afraid it could be quite some time before I can say that about my goat, but that's what she gets for slamming her head into my crotch, and she ain't foolin' anybody anyway. Bitch LOVES the truckstop....once she gets a few beers in 'er.
Zgrimes
She hates the van, and it was very painful. Second, I went to the truckstop, and pimped her out, which was easy, as ususual. Once I had a cool fiddy in my hot little hand, I went to Best Buy and purchased "System Mechanic",
by iolo Industries, on the advise of a friend who actually knows how computers work. It normally costs fifty bucks, but I got it on sale for thirty.
I spent the extra twenty on a bottle of gin that was still three quarters full, a
cool pair of Keds I found at a yard sale, a set of slightly used Ernie's, some beef-jerky, and a bottle of aspirin for my goat. "System Mechanic" loaded easily into my 64-bit Vista Home Premium system, running Firefox, and really cleaned things up. Everything started to run normally again, and after I cleaned a whole lotta shit out of my files, she was right back up to speed. I'm afraid it could be quite some time before I can say that about my goat, but that's what she gets for slamming her head into my crotch, and she ain't foolin' anybody anyway. Bitch LOVES the truckstop....once she gets a few beers in 'er.
Zgrimes
adwaz
New member
Hey Z,
Glad you got your Computer Back up and working.....
I was actually worried about you.....Thought you actually ended up in the Hospital....
I only have 4 questions........
1-How are you coming along with your studio?
2-What is the name of your Goat?
3-Where is this truck stop?
4-Do you really think that the "Tic, tic, tick" is gone forever?
Just curious........
Glad you got your Computer Back up and working.....
I was actually worried about you.....Thought you actually ended up in the Hospital....
I only have 4 questions........
1-How are you coming along with your studio?
2-What is the name of your Goat?
3-Where is this truck stop?
4-Do you really think that the "Tic, tic, tick" is gone forever?
Just curious........
Z
Zgrimes
New member
Hey Adwaz, Nice to know SOMEbody cares. The wife just chucked a sauce pan at me, my sister mailed me a bottle of cyanide with a note that said "New kinda hot-sauce! MMmmmm GOOD!", and my neighbor stuffed our mailbox fulla dog shit which I suppose explains the sauce pan. Things are a lot better than they were the last time I posted here though. This lady knocked on the door a few days ago. Said she was from "Social Services". (I know! it's FREAKy) I told her there were more than enough women in my life thankyou very #%@&ing much, so I didn't need anybody to find me any damn dates, but she was really nice. Before I knew it, I was telling her all about my amp and the tick and the radar and the fences and the capacitors and Cake and my goat and the tick going away and even about how I was screwin' around with my neighbor's fences so I could get my tick back so I could kill it and how I was getting to be immune to electricity cuz I was getting shocked so much every night. I said " Hell little lady!, I'm gettin so's I LIKE it!" She was totally blown away by this, really impressed, and I was thinkin I might get laid and she kept saying how much she'd like to see me demonstrate my newfound mastery of electricity, and I finally told her that she could come along that night but I didn't have an extra helmet so I proly shouldn't teach her how to do it until we found a helmet for her. You know, cuza safety. So anyway she came along with me and I kept getting shocked as usual but it hardly even bothers me any more and she was really impressed and she kept telling me how much the guys back at er office would really like to meet me and watch me in action. So I wound up goin to her office and meeting all these guys down at the dating agency there and they were really cool and one of em was really into computers and electricity and shit and he had a bunch of gear set up in a spare room. He asked me if he could hook me up and check out how much juice I could take and I said "SURE!" He hooked me up and started feedin me the juice and I was just laughin' cuz it was NOTHin and so he started crankin it up a little bit at a time while we were all sittin there talkin. Another guy there was really interested in my ticking problem and he just kept talkin about that the whole time and he would not STOP talkin about it and I kept askin where the hell Carla went cuz that was her name and she was really freakin CUTE but he jist went on and on and on and on about my damn ticking amp and how I felt about it and what ezakly made me wanna go out and screw with the fences and the whole time Gerald just kept crankin up the juice and after a while I swear I could smell my hair burnin and I guess I was getting a little testy but that was cool too cuz Mr QUESTIONS! had some REAL good drugs. I just said no to drugs a long long time ago but like I said I was gettin a little testy and kinda sore from takin so much juice and so that night I said hell yes and I dunno what he had but it was SLAMMin and I woke up there two days later with a headache and a haircut. The wife didn't even miss me, and here's the WIERD part. Ever since, ..well...I just kinda lost interest in my ticking problem. I don't know why. I guess I just kinda got.... burned out. I packed up all my wires and my pickups and the rifle and the short wave radios and the little guitar amplifiers and the bandages and the batteries and the antennys an the helmet, and I just shoved it all in a box and stuffed it in the closet. I even packed up Beddy's truck stop outfit, (That's my goat's name, Beddy. We used to call her Betty but the "T's" seemed to piss her off so we changed it to Beddy and she seems to like that .....bedder. {I'm bein carefull cuz she's standin right here} The truckers like it too. Truckstop don't have a name. It's just "the truckstop", and there talkin about shuttin it down! I know! My guess, to much "Social Servicin" goin on over there. hehehe) Anyway, I figure Beddy deserves a break. She did good last time out. So, these days I'm just playin music, writin songs, (my latest is called "I Take the Juice", gonna be killer.) Can't do much studio buildin cuz it's too freakin cold. Come Spring, I'm gonna tear the inside walls apart, ground the outside sheet metal of my trailer, and then soundproof the whole room. If I tried to do it now, the paint and silicone would freeze before it even dried, and my wife would kill me in my sleep. She hates bein cold. Wadda pussy.
And to answer your last question Adwaz my friend, I thouroughly expect that sometime in the not to distant future, some *&$#-%#*#er is gonna fire up a lectric fence, and my little amp is gonna start tickin like a Tehran terrorist once again. In the meantime, I'll be installing a new mailbox, writin songs, and thinkin of new and better ways to harm my sister......(Hey Adwaz. If I charged up a big capacitor, how long do ya suppose it would hold it's juice? You know. In the mail....) , and when she starts tickin again? I dunno...
Guess we'll just take it from there.
Zgrimes
And to answer your last question Adwaz my friend, I thouroughly expect that sometime in the not to distant future, some *&$#-%#*#er is gonna fire up a lectric fence, and my little amp is gonna start tickin like a Tehran terrorist once again. In the meantime, I'll be installing a new mailbox, writin songs, and thinkin of new and better ways to harm my sister......(Hey Adwaz. If I charged up a big capacitor, how long do ya suppose it would hold it's juice? You know. In the mail....) , and when she starts tickin again? I dunno...
Guess we'll just take it from there.
Zgrimes
S
Slowjett
New member
Im thinking thats exactly what it sounds like, but 55bpm is too fast for an electric fence.
Z
Zgrimes
New member
Hey Slowjett, Nice to have another face on the case. I came to believe quite a while back that bigtom was right on the money, way back there at post number 6, and the fact that the ticking stopped completely when Winter set in for real, when there's a lot less livestock in the meadows around here lends even more credibility to the idea. As far as 55bpm being too slow goes, that's the first I've heard that. If my tick was caused by an electric fence, what would it's speed be? Any idea? Z