T
TripleM
Well-known member
Boy after reading this, I'd really like to listen. But MP3.com is asking me to sign up, which is something I don't do. If you can turn that off, I'll give'em a spin.
WATYF
...happier than you.
Re: Viewpoint
You're never going to relay any emotion if you can't first relate to your audience. Talk more about the plight of the individual, rather than filling the lyrics with your incredibly ill-informed, unsubstantiated opinion on why you think the victim is suffering.
I feel for the victims of war... but I can't find the slightest bit of feeling in this song. It's so much more about your political opinion, that it totally eclipses the intended topic... which is the victim.
WATYF
I understand this goal... but you're just going about it all wrong. If you want to evoke an emotional response from the listener, then don't insult his intelligence. I mean... the idea of an evil, nasty, bad-bad American soldier with oil dripping from his greedy fingers going over there and blowing the arms off of an innocent child just for the fun of it is just stupid.studioviols said:
You're never going to relay any emotion if you can't first relate to your audience. Talk more about the plight of the individual, rather than filling the lyrics with your incredibly ill-informed, unsubstantiated opinion on why you think the victim is suffering.
I feel for the victims of war... but I can't find the slightest bit of feeling in this song. It's so much more about your political opinion, that it totally eclipses the intended topic... which is the victim.
WATYF
Pedullist
Stop it, I can't breathe
TripleM said:
Trip, just sign on as Michael@Jackson.com, 64 year old female from Sweden...
(read your mail, btw
)
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T
TripleM
Well-known member
Pedullist said:
But that wouldn't be honest...
I sent an email back to you.
Pedullist
Stop it, I can't breathe
What can I say? When it comes to mp3.com I'm a dishonest person.
Mailed you back btw (is this overcommunication or what?)
Mailed you back btw (is this overcommunication or what?)
studioviols
New member
Powerful Emotions
I want the piano to be abrasive, but thanks for the tip on the bottom end, yes, I need some balance. I'm thinking of adding an expansive pipe or church organ to add a big round feel in some places, or just maybe a bass line.
I'm thinking of adding some drums or percussion to lead into 'Blood soaked children's slippers ... ' and making that a bit of hardrock with long overdriven guitar tones to accompany that section to give some real contrast to the other sections.
Possibly having a casino girl spank me with a violin dipped in a bucket of 10W-40 while I sing that section ... to get that dirty feeling ...
I'm glad the actual writing and mixing of the string's has found some measure of appreciation. I intend to record those with real violin, viola and cello, and mixing those many layered parts will be a lot of work indeed.
The song needs a lot of work, as do the mix and the technical elements. Both songs do.
That's one of the main reasons why I'm here.
The primary target 'audience' I'm relating to is not those in support of the Invasion and Occupation although as this disturbs them greatly, the song is successful with that audience. One person commenting even goes as far to draw the very picture needed, the soldier with oily-blood dripping from his fingers, that's the intention, to get these controversial images drawn in your mind, to get your gut reaction, to reach in, grab your intestines, tie them in knots and then swing on them while singing 'la-la-tra-la-la-la' .
Europeans generally like the lyrical content a lot. People from Iraq of course are very enthusiastic and there are tens of millions of them and yes their opinions count also. Another victim I am concerned about is America's international reputation.
I am an over-articulating bastich, probably as a result of having speech impediments when I was a young child that were so profound I went to therapists until I was five.
Yes, I did study voice formally and diction and pronunciation, as I sing in any language, (IPA), are an important factor for me.
As Groucho first noted, my diction, the way I pronounce my words sounds affected, and on the next singing of this, I certainly will strive to 'just sing it'.
Thanks for the bytes ...
I want the piano to be abrasive, but thanks for the tip on the bottom end, yes, I need some balance. I'm thinking of adding an expansive pipe or church organ to add a big round feel in some places, or just maybe a bass line.
I'm thinking of adding some drums or percussion to lead into 'Blood soaked children's slippers ... ' and making that a bit of hardrock with long overdriven guitar tones to accompany that section to give some real contrast to the other sections.
Possibly having a casino girl spank me with a violin dipped in a bucket of 10W-40 while I sing that section ... to get that dirty feeling ...
I'm glad the actual writing and mixing of the string's has found some measure of appreciation. I intend to record those with real violin, viola and cello, and mixing those many layered parts will be a lot of work indeed.
The song needs a lot of work, as do the mix and the technical elements. Both songs do.
That's one of the main reasons why I'm here.
The primary target 'audience' I'm relating to is not those in support of the Invasion and Occupation although as this disturbs them greatly, the song is successful with that audience. One person commenting even goes as far to draw the very picture needed, the soldier with oily-blood dripping from his fingers, that's the intention, to get these controversial images drawn in your mind, to get your gut reaction, to reach in, grab your intestines, tie them in knots and then swing on them while singing 'la-la-tra-la-la-la' .
Europeans generally like the lyrical content a lot. People from Iraq of course are very enthusiastic and there are tens of millions of them and yes their opinions count also. Another victim I am concerned about is America's international reputation.
I am an over-articulating bastich, probably as a result of having speech impediments when I was a young child that were so profound I went to therapists until I was five.
Yes, I did study voice formally and diction and pronunciation, as I sing in any language, (IPA), are an important factor for me.
As Groucho first noted, my diction, the way I pronounce my words sounds affected, and on the next singing of this, I certainly will strive to 'just sing it'.
Thanks for the bytes ...
participant
New member
(Haven't read your thread)
Why they hate us
Not a fan of the mono pno... the voice is mixed quite loud (pref)... and dry...despite the slight delay on 'em. Some rice krispies on the voc trax, too. Nice strings.
I must say... this mono-ish mix is kind of grating in the midranges... kind of the "frown" EQ effect, if you will... lite on bottom and top-- almost like a fish-eye lens for the ears.
The melody doesn't really grip me.... possibly the simplicity and lack of harmony.
Musically I can't say I'm too interested... but maybe it's because the instruments all tend to follow the same lilty rhythm or something... like a march... if each had its own personality, it might add a little flavor. Right now it's pure rice cakes.
Sorry for the brutal honesty, there.
Powerless
Now... the reverb is much better on this, though the proximity effect on the vocals is quite noticeable and takes them out of the musical performance IMO... makes them sound like a voice-over with a cheapish dynamic mic.
The lack of lows really hurts this. The melody is much better than the other. Each of the instruments do seem to be doing something interesting. A simple composition.
Ever see the Simpsons episode, where Homer has a flashback... and he's his own one man band "Archie Bell and the Drells?" Your elec gtr sound reminds me of that.
Chad
Why they hate us
Not a fan of the mono pno... the voice is mixed quite loud (pref)... and dry...despite the slight delay on 'em. Some rice krispies on the voc trax, too. Nice strings.
I must say... this mono-ish mix is kind of grating in the midranges... kind of the "frown" EQ effect, if you will... lite on bottom and top-- almost like a fish-eye lens for the ears.
The melody doesn't really grip me.... possibly the simplicity and lack of harmony.
Musically I can't say I'm too interested... but maybe it's because the instruments all tend to follow the same lilty rhythm or something... like a march... if each had its own personality, it might add a little flavor. Right now it's pure rice cakes.
Sorry for the brutal honesty, there.
Powerless
Now... the reverb is much better on this, though the proximity effect on the vocals is quite noticeable and takes them out of the musical performance IMO... makes them sound like a voice-over with a cheapish dynamic mic.
The lack of lows really hurts this. The melody is much better than the other. Each of the instruments do seem to be doing something interesting. A simple composition.
Ever see the Simpsons episode, where Homer has a flashback... and he's his own one man band "Archie Bell and the Drells?" Your elec gtr sound reminds me of that.
Chad
studioviols
New member
voice-over with a cheapish dynamic mic.
LOL, powerless was a voice-over with a cheapish dynamic mic, bingo good ear ... LOL. The guitar was an Epiphone Sheraton direct through a tiny amp using it's distortion. Actually Homer was a guest artist on this one, but he drank all the beer and puked everywhere so's I kicked him out and re-did the track with his guitar. It was all done on a 4-Track recorder, I doubled the vocal, sang it a jilllion times to get that 'perfect doubling. Now the violin and viola on that are real.
Thanks for the string compliment. I think the rice krispies were caused by a combination of overdriving the little condenser mic I was using and actually clipping the SONAR track through my Echo Mia.
honesty is best, I wouldn't want you to be any other way, else hows can we learn ...
Stereo piano, now there's something I can take from this, thanks.
LOL, powerless was a voice-over with a cheapish dynamic mic, bingo good ear ... LOL. The guitar was an Epiphone Sheraton direct through a tiny amp using it's distortion. Actually Homer was a guest artist on this one, but he drank all the beer and puked everywhere so's I kicked him out and re-did the track with his guitar. It was all done on a 4-Track recorder, I doubled the vocal, sang it a jilllion times to get that 'perfect doubling. Now the violin and viola on that are real.
Thanks for the string compliment. I think the rice krispies were caused by a combination of overdriving the little condenser mic I was using and actually clipping the SONAR track through my Echo Mia.
honesty is best, I wouldn't want you to be any other way, else hows can we learn ...
Stereo piano, now there's something I can take from this, thanks.
Jamal Bucket
New member
Re: voice-over with a cheapish dynamic mic.
and on that note ...i have to say that we recently had a baby and i dont get the chance to listen and comment as much as i used to ..but i have been reading through your comments on other threads and i think its really cool how in depth you go as far as a "critique"...i will listen to this later tonight after the baby goes to sleep SIMPLY because i have seen the effort you have put forth on others...
excellent.
jamal
studioviols said:
and on that note ...i have to say that we recently had a baby and i dont get the chance to listen and comment as much as i used to ..but i have been reading through your comments on other threads and i think its really cool how in depth you go as far as a "critique"...i will listen to this later tonight after the baby goes to sleep SIMPLY because i have seen the effort you have put forth on others...
excellent.
jamal
Jamal Bucket
New member
as chad said the lack of lows...is killing this ...
the lyrics arent the best thing i have ever heard but im not critiquing the substance of the words...
the suncopated begining works really well it fits nicely underneath the lyrics....is that violin??...cool.
man this just NEEDS some bigger sounds. the drum loop needs to chande up more i think i saw this was recorded 10yrs ago...you should revisit this with better instrumentation...in those ten years you have to have gotten better equiptment right?..
i didnt read this whole damn thing so maybe most of this is redundant sorry if it is...
part of the problem is with lyrics like this im assuming this means something to you and altho you sound lik eyou have a fine voice (in tune)..its annunciated fine....it seems to be lacking that same emotion in the delivery . as if your reading a thesis.....we NEED EMOTION i can almost hear some screaming in the background..(not in your recording but in my head)....your delivery is too matter of fact...be pissed...it may serve you well..
i actually like the guitar sound if only it were about 3bd's LOUDER the guitar to me anyway needs to sit about the level that that violin or whatever that is comes in at.
"powerless i watch the bombs drop...its endless it wont stop..."...try changing it up on the end there a bit...i know what i justtyped sucked..lol..but you get the idea..
powerless i hear the lives stop...something...i dunno..im no "lyricist"...
keep on postin
jamal
the lyrics arent the best thing i have ever heard but im not critiquing the substance of the words...
the suncopated begining works really well it fits nicely underneath the lyrics....is that violin??...cool.
man this just NEEDS some bigger sounds. the drum loop needs to chande up more i think i saw this was recorded 10yrs ago...you should revisit this with better instrumentation...in those ten years you have to have gotten better equiptment right?..
i didnt read this whole damn thing so maybe most of this is redundant sorry if it is...
part of the problem is with lyrics like this im assuming this means something to you and altho you sound lik eyou have a fine voice (in tune)..its annunciated fine....it seems to be lacking that same emotion in the delivery . as if your reading a thesis.....we NEED EMOTION i can almost hear some screaming in the background..(not in your recording but in my head)....your delivery is too matter of fact...be pissed...it may serve you well..
i actually like the guitar sound if only it were about 3bd's LOUDER the guitar to me anyway needs to sit about the level that that violin or whatever that is comes in at.
"powerless i watch the bombs drop...its endless it wont stop..."...try changing it up on the end there a bit...i know what i justtyped sucked..lol..but you get the idea..
powerless i hear the lives stop...something...i dunno..im no "lyricist"...
keep on postin
jamal
S
Shaky Tee
Between being and nothing
OK...
I'm listening to "Why They Hate U.S."
First, I'm sorry to read about the reaction you got regarding the lyrical content from certain people on this thread. This subject yields too many emotional reactions...but they frankly should have known better.
Anyway...I'm feeling you as you sing this, especially the ending. You mean every word you say on this. I thought the strings were well played and the piano was well played (MIDI "plunky sounds" notwithstanding...believe me, you can't get away from it, not een with soundfonts).
My main problem with the this, is that they don't flow very well. Aside from the didactic factor, they tend to be rather clumsy (around 3 minutes....so we rejoice and dance together in the streets for victory...while we privately we weep at the atrocitifes we wrought"...is one example.), not to mention some of the imagery is overwrought (then again, you were making a point, so I won't go there). I think ( and I've been accused of doing this too) that you are trying to do too much lyrically. You can make your point more effectively by using some economy in terms of the lyrics.
But, I totally felt what you were saying.
You were overarticulating in some parts of the tune. Occasionally, it was as if I was listening to a piano ballad by someone delivering a doctorial thesis. Or by Jello Biafra. I'd consider loosening up the vocal delivery, and not try to sound so hard to pound every point home. We already know what you are talking about. Don't beat us over the head with it!
Anyway...that's my two cents. For what it's worth...
I'm listening to "Why They Hate U.S."
First, I'm sorry to read about the reaction you got regarding the lyrical content from certain people on this thread. This subject yields too many emotional reactions...but they frankly should have known better.
Anyway...I'm feeling you as you sing this, especially the ending. You mean every word you say on this. I thought the strings were well played and the piano was well played (MIDI "plunky sounds" notwithstanding...believe me, you can't get away from it, not een with soundfonts).
My main problem with the this, is that they don't flow very well. Aside from the didactic factor, they tend to be rather clumsy (around 3 minutes....so we rejoice and dance together in the streets for victory...while we privately we weep at the atrocitifes we wrought"...is one example.), not to mention some of the imagery is overwrought (then again, you were making a point, so I won't go there). I think ( and I've been accused of doing this too) that you are trying to do too much lyrically. You can make your point more effectively by using some economy in terms of the lyrics.
But, I totally felt what you were saying.
You were overarticulating in some parts of the tune. Occasionally, it was as if I was listening to a piano ballad by someone delivering a doctorial thesis. Or by Jello Biafra. I'd consider loosening up the vocal delivery, and not try to sound so hard to pound every point home. We already know what you are talking about. Don't beat us over the head with it!
Anyway...that's my two cents. For what it's worth...
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studioviols
New member
Good Review !
Good review Shaky !!!
Good review Shaky !!!
smellyfuzz
New member
Well,
I tried to keep an open mind on this one.
I appreciate the political comments.
I tried not to let the other posters influence me.
I like another song he posted with a female singer.
I now have a huge problem with his critique of shaky trees vocals.
Sean
I tried to keep an open mind on this one.
I appreciate the political comments.
I tried not to let the other posters influence me.
I like another song he posted with a female singer.
I now have a huge problem with his critique of shaky trees vocals.
Sean
studioviols
New member
It's all IMHO
Please understand that I LIKE Shaky Tree's vocal overall, I just want her to be able to reach a potential that she has, that's what I want for everyone on the board.
I LOVE Shaky Tee's songs, especially Phoolan ...
and all of this is always IMHO ...
one man's gravel is another man's water ...
Please understand that I LIKE Shaky Tree's vocal overall, I just want her to be able to reach a potential that she has, that's what I want for everyone on the board.
I LOVE Shaky Tee's songs, especially Phoolan ...
and all of this is always IMHO ...
one man's gravel is another man's water ...