Please Critique

[dewhitt]

Hello Everyone,

I have posted a few songs up on www.soundclick.com/davedewhitt and I am hoping to get some feedback. "Signs of Life" is the latest, and it's the first track I've done since I upgraded to a Line6 UX8 and Logic Express 9. The other tracks were done in Garageband with a Presonus BlueTube preamp and Line6 Guitarport USB interface.

I wrote and played all the parts, so it's a little tough for me to be unbiased about judging the final product. I think it's pretty good, but I'm hoping you will keep me honest

EQ is always challenging for me, especially on the vocals, so any guidance there is appreciated. Also, sometimes I think I might have some sibilance problems, but other times I think I'm being hypercritical. Does sibilance seem to be a problem on the "Signs of Life" track?

Thanks in advance for listening!

Best Regards,

Dave

 

[jeffmaher]

Hey Dave,

If I were a fat guy in a suit with an obnoxious cigar, more money than I knew what to do with, and ran a label, I'd be pushing a pen in your hand and banging you on the head until you signed with me...based upon "Signs...". No shit.

You got "it".

As far as the recording, "Signs"....

The only nit I have is the guitar sound. Strat or Tele?? Single coil? I'd love to hear the result if you recorded the guits with , say, a 10,000ohm pickup Les Paul or something...and a tubed Marshall with a 4X12 closed cab..on a mic. The guit parts are thin...and tending to fuzzbox distracting. The parts don't blend well with the bass and drums...adding push and lushitude.

I think if a pro producer and engineer got hold of this, they'd keep all the trax...except the guits: re-record them......remaster, and dress it up with some $10,000 delay and verb.

But the playing and musicality is super. You know how to arrange. Voice is real good. Slight weakness in some of the poetry...but on the right track, and not far from inspired...some wording is hackneyed or trite...a little.

The bass and drums sound great. The overall EQ is workin'.

Yeah. Yer good!

 

[dewhitt]

Hey Jeff,

Thanks, I really appreciate the feedback and that you took time to listen. Man, I'm really impressed with your "guitar ears". You nailed it - Fender Strat, single coil, bridge position. I'm not happy about the strat, and would've loved to record those parts with a Les Paul, or something else with a little more oomph. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to swing the funds to buy a new guitar since it seems that recording equipment is always taking precedence. I keep telling my wife she needs to buy me a nice gold-top Les Paul for an anniversary or something, but for some reason she keeps ignoring me

When it comes to songwriting, I've got music out the wazoo, but lyrics nearly kill me every time. You should hear the first versions of most of my songs and then you'd really know what trite sounds like...ha ha ha.

Thanks again, I'm going to take your advice to heart and make the guitar tracks a priority for a future upgrade.

Best Regards,

Dave DeWhitt

 

[beatlebum]

I'm not sure I'd be shoving the pen in your face quite yet! Don't get me wrong, this is very well put together, well performed and very radio friendly and I can easily hear it on the soundtrack of "Brothers and Sisters" and the like, but, for such a radio friendly sound I think the songs are lacking the big catchy chorus that would make them sure fire hits.

Criticism at the highest level though - really good stuff.

 

[dewhitt]

Thanks Beatlebum, I appreciate the feedback, and don't worry, I'm not going to quit my day job just yet

This is all just a hobby to keep me sane for now, even though sometimes it drives me crazier!

Thanks,

Dave DeWhitt

 

[beatlebum]

sometimes it drives me crazier!

I know EXACTLY what you mean!

 

[laser]

Man that is what I'm talking about!!! That is some great stuff. You have a Don Henley style voice and the music you are singing fits your vocals.Very original. I really like it.
Keep up the work. If you don't mind share with us what goodies you use...

I wouldn't gonna say anything but there is a little tiny something there that's to forward on the VOX but I don't know what it is... nevertheless keep up the good work.

 

[PoeticIntensity]

Great recording! Some nits from a drummer (been drumming for 20 years now)...

That hi-hat has to go. It's way, way too redundant and perfect. Gotta do something with that. The snare sounds pretty good. I'd like to have it smack me a tad bit harder, if possible...

The kick gets lost when the full bands hits because there's almost no click. Sounds kind of waffly, too. I want that kick to slam me in the chest! Other than the drum nits...

Vocals are awesome. Guitars are awesome. Bass is awesome. Song is awesome... With an acoustic kit, this would definitely get 5 stars from me.

I'd *really* like to see if I could put some acoustic drums to this sucker.

Great song, man. Great song.

 

[trumpino1]

I think this is an awesome song for starters. The only thing I think that maybe you could do (and this is only what I would do for my taste) is bring the bass down just a little bit. Make it fit in the mix and not so up front. But that is just what I hear for myself. It might sound better on your set up. Great luck on this one. I think it is one that should make the radio stations that I listen to!!

Trump

 

[Byronovich]

First post of this kind... and I'm still just developing my ears... but... I found the snare to be pretty annoying actually. I thought the snare was a bit weak and too repetitive. Perhaps if the first hit was a louder/different snare than the others it might break it up some. I have no problem with the hi-hats. I like how they change volume - great arranging. There is some sibilance that could be tamed here and there, but don't go crazy on it. Other than that, WOW! Awesome!

 

[dewhitt]

Thanks very much everyone, I appreciate the kind words and the thoughtful critiques! I was a little freaked out about posting this and sharing, but I'm really glad I did because the suggestions have been great, so thanks!

@Laser - Unfortunately, when I tell you what "goodies" I'm using, you will probably have to laugh Nothing special, although I did just upgrade my interface to a Line6 UX8, which I like a lot, and also Logic Express 9, which was a little tough to learn at first, but now I'm loving it.

I spent a decent amount of time and money treating my room with homemade bass traps and a liberal dose of auralex foam in the first reflection spots, which I think really helps. I also just recently built a 2' x 4' sound absorber, which is essentially a piece of fabric-covered OC 703 on a movable stand. I put that panel directly behind my mic (which by the way is a Rode NT1000) when I'm tracking vocals. Sorry for being so long-winded about it, but the vocal recording chain is Me >> Rode NT1000 >> Line6 UX8 >> Logic Express 9.

Guitars and bass are through the UX8, and drums are all banged out on my M-audio USB keyboard using Logic's stock drum kits, usually the rock kit. All EQ, compression, and effects are stock in Logic, I haven't been able to afford any software plug-ins yet, but I am eyeing up the Musician's 2 bundle from Waves, and also the Sound Toys Native Effects bundle, not that I really need it, but it looks cool!

Monitoring is through Event PS-6 monitors and a Behringer (I know, I know) sub. I think that's about it, but let me know if have any more specific questions, I can talk about this stuff all day long

@PoeticIntensity - I totally agree about the hi hat, and lately I've actually been thinking about just picking up a real hat and recording that separately from the rest of the drums. I feel like I can do a pretty good job with the kick, snare, etc, but the hat always plagues me. That said, real drums would definitely be ideal, and I'm game if you are serious about wanting to try to lay down a real drum track. If I sent the project file to you, would you have a way to lay down drums? I'd love to hear it that way...let me know.

Thanks again everyone, greatly appreciated!

Dave DeWhitt

 

[cantthinkofname]

that sounded really good, something like one of my local pop/rock stations would play. just seems to need a few touch ups like the others mentioned and that seems to be it. cool song good luck

 

[studioplayer]

'Signs of Life' is the best of the bunch for sure. Super lead guitar playing and tone. Very nice. Great recording and playing. Fantastic vocals. No nits from me. You definitley have a consistant style and sound. Your on the right track.

Dave

 

[PoeticIntensity]

@PoeticIntensity - I totally agree about the hi hat, and lately I've actually been thinking about just picking up a real hat and recording that separately from the rest of the drums. I feel like I can do a pretty good job with the kick, snare, etc, but the hat always plagues me. That said, real drums would definitely be ideal, and I'm game if you are serious about wanting to try to lay down a real drum track. If I sent the project file to you, would you have a way to lay down drums? I'd love to hear it that way...let me know.t

hehe.... Yeah. I've been working on getting my studio up to par, and have been focusing on drums for the past 8 months. If ya want a sample of what they sound like take a look at this thread and this thread.

Get me a drum minus track, and a BPM, and I'd love to lay something down for ya.

 

[gazzab]

Signs of Life:- Great vocals, everything sounds really well mixed and professional. The only thing I hear that might want changing (relying on my monitors of-course) is the backing electric guitar. It could do with fattening/turning up a bit. It sounds a bit hollow in the overall mix to me.

Other than that, good stuff

 

[PoeticIntensity]

Hey Dewhitt. I played around with your tune tonight, but it got late too quickly, and was unable to finish it. You can rest assured I got 2 new blisters from playing it so many times, though. I'm now on a mission. I *will* get you some drum tracks to rival the ones already on there.

*great* song, man. I hope ya don't mind my playing along with it. Seriously fun beat to jam to, bro.

 

[Njal Frode Lie]

Hi Dave,

I'm listening to 'Signs of Life' now: I like it

It sounds pretty good too, and I like the vocals, a bit 'Peter Gabriel' vibe there, very cool.

The most obvious place to look for improvement, is - as you yourself mentioned - the sibilance.

If this was food, it would have been very very salt, and with lots of taste-enhancers (monosodium glutamat).

So, some easy things that could improve your song:
- back off a little from any enhancers/exciters you might use, it's too much.
- add a de-esser to the vocal, and to the drums/hi-hats.
- if you have any room-mics available for the drums, to more more heavy compression there, to get a more pumping/aggressive sound.
- the hi-hat sounds a bit too static/robotic, maybe looking into doing some more variations here to make it feel more human and less like a computer.


Njal

 

[LDS]

I like it!!!!

I have to echo the Les Paul and live drums comment. It does seem like there's a whole bunch of compression at times.

Are you going to post up after the drum collaboration is done? Can't wait to hear that!

 

[Greg_L]

I agree with the drum comments. They don't sound very natural and the kick is really lacking. The guitars are a little thin. I guess the scooped sound is en vogue these days, but I'm not a fan of that sound. I'd like to hear the gits meatier. In fact, the whole mix is kind of sizzly and harsh. The song is okay and well performed, but it's pretty cliche and very sterile. There's nothing particularly special about it, which is fine, but it's just like any other sugary radio rock.

 

[fourthwardkid]

Good music dude! There's plenty of good feedback here and I'm not a rock purist, I'm more of a hip hop cat but I still know a good tune when I hear it and this certainly qualifies! Of course everyone here is listening with their "professional ear" and I'm sure that's what you're seeking but just listening as a guy who enjoys good music you are definitely on to something with your work! Love it! Keep improving, your hard work and talent will pay off!