N'suck would have had a bassist but not a wildcard

  • Thread starter Thread starter CyanJaguar
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Cyan--You have a real good tune here....dare I say a "Wildcard"? :D

Bass and guitar and its complete. I was thinking it might be cool to start the thing with just the vocal and piano for a verse before bringing the drums and other stuff in. It could break down to bass and drums somewhere possibly--just ideas.

I agree that you could nail the vocal better. Maybe try taking the key down an half step?

This song grows on me. I didn't really hear it first time, but the second time it grabbed me. Now I'm singing the melody in my head! Just like the physical manifestation of the wildcard should!
 
B.Sabbath,

you flatter me too much with your comments. Now I cant stop blushing. Thanks.

I know what you mean about expectation after reading many of my posts. I talk about not wanting to use anything less than a u87 and stuff, but I got to realize that all that is a chasing after the wind. People dont care about audio minutae. What they want is a good song. So now I am concentrating on trying to write better and better songs. I call it THE MATURITY OF THE WILDCARD . Not that I wont want to get my hands on a u87 though.

I am still looking for a bassline and hard guitars. I can put the file up as a .wav is anyone is interested.
 
MkG, dude thanks for the positive words. The wildcard is that part of the song that makes you go "YEAH" It makes it all worthwhile. It also makes one want to listen again and again. Unfortunately one can get burned out listening to a MATURE WILDCARD song . I have heard of people listening to the same song for hours on end. THat what I call THE COMBUSTION OF THE WILDCARD

Guernica, thanks man. About the vocal polish. I think the only way I can achieve is to sing lower. I'll make sure to do that on the next song. THis chick was telling me she loves my deep singing voice, so I need to exercise it more. I am hoping christaan would come up with a phat bassline. Thanks man.


Christaan, youre the man. Please play with that bassline and let me know what you come up with.

Fed, THANKS MAN. I think. :D

TripleM , thanks man. I agree that the voice gets buried sometimes. I need to get a compressor, or buy a real copy of Logic.

Crawdad, thanks for the compliment. I think I could have done better with a lower pitch. Note to self. Lower pitch on next song.
I am happy that the song grows on you. I call that the THE SLOWLY UNFOLDING WILDCARD Its not as urgent as a regular wildcard, but it hopefully gets there. Thanks for taking the time to listen and comment.
 
Cyanjaguar,

Since you're thinking of having the piano replaced by guitar, could you make me a version without the piano? Not that I'm going to do guitar parts as well but it would give me some extra freedom to play with. Don't worry, I'll stick to the chords ;)
 
hey christaan, I'll do that and pm you the link in a few minutes. I cant post it here cos I would sound terrible without something covering me up.
 
i really like this song Cyan. and your voice, i don't think you should fix the pitch stuff. it kind of grows on me. i don't know why. sometimes you sound like the singer from the counting crows with an accent :)

only part i didn't like was the glissando on the piano. then again, maybe i did like that? it sounded a little comical though for some reason.

can't wait to hear this with a bass line and maybe a guitar on the upbeats?
 
B.SABBATH said:

I do like the lyrics and the melody.. I'll have to disagree here with Sluice about an out of tune vocal sounding good.. I don't think an out of tune vocal ever sounds good..
Click to expand...

It depends on the delivery IMHO. I don't think out-of-tune works here, and you should strive for improvement. But I do think some songs, it just doesn't matter. They're rare, but they exist.
I'm definitely not saying half-ass vocals are OK. I just want to hear feeling.
 
Hey Cyan,

Instrumental is aight........ Send me the drum track and the piano and I'll remix it with some bass and eg..........Are you on Yahoo?
 
"Needs a good strong bass line, maybe even a synth bass line would work well"
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by B.Sabbath




christiaan said:
You almost let me choke in my soup. Synth bass? yuck. I'll pick up my bass later today and I'll give it a shot. I promise absolutely nothing but I'll try.
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yo christiann,
synth bass definitely has its place.. I prefer it for *certain* things..
It all depends on who's doin' it my brother...

I'm looking forward to hearing your bass line though, I bet it will be killer..
I'll be looking for it. :)
 
SLuiCe said:
It depends on the delivery IMHO. I don't think out-of-tune works here, and you should strive for improvement. But I do think some songs, it just doesn't matter. They're rare, but they exist. I'm definitely not saying half-ass vocals are OK. I just want to hear feeling.
Click to expand...


I hear ya noose, I mean Sluice.. Like some live 'Doors' comes to mind.. Jim Morrison going sick and not really even singing, just going on, and it sounded great..


Let us not forget 'Biz Markie' "Oh baby you, you got what I neeeeed, but you say he's just a friend, oh baby yyyyyyyyyooooouuu, you got what I neeeeeeed, but you say he's just a friend, you say he's just a friend." etc..
 
Ah man, my stupid machine can't handle Hi-Fi, so I only got to listen to about the first 10 seconds of the song ...

From what I heard, it sounded very cool. I really like the percussion that you had going on there, and the first few seconds of singing came in strong and sounded mixed very well.

Unfortunately, that is when my machine died ...

I liked what I heard of it though!

Is there a version on NWR in lo-fi by any chance?
 
This song wins on originality. The vocals totally work, imperfections and all. The almost exaggreated expressiveness is right on. The almost mainstream tenory vocal that is just a hair off center, just a hair exaggerated is money. The vocals inhabit that sweet spot that teases the mainstream ear as something that it hasnt heard yet but isnt too weird and has JUST the right amount of original energy.
The song has a bit of the "bah bada dah bah ba-dada dah dah daaahh..cause the whole world loves it when you make that sound..etc" feel-- that was big six months ago. I forget the name of the group. It was a huge hit on mainstream radio. It reminded me of a Mr Bungle song.

I would use a more syncopated stacatto 90s R&B beat instead of the dancey thing going on now. A groove that would kind of accent the phrasing in the vocals but stay away from a 2/4 feel. I would also go for more muted, dry drum sounds and mix em a bit lower. The piano drops out in some places and is not consistent enough where you want it to stick to a rhythm. The accenting vocals with piano chords sounds amateur ...though enthusiastic.

I dont know about the spoken word thing in the background. It doesnt really add anything. Nice space and EQ on the piano. Theres some distortion from it being too loud in places. Overall great work.
The originality and quality of performance make any mixing issues almost meaningless.

Nice harmonies.
 
B.SABBATH said:
yo christiann,
synth bass definitely has its place.. I prefer it for *certain* things..
It all depends on who's doin' it my brother...

I'm looking forward to hearing your bass line though, I bet it will be killer..
I'll be looking for it. :)
Click to expand...

:) , well it's mainly that I'm a stuck up bass player that I don't care much for bass synths. However I do agree that a synth like sound would work. There's no place here for a picking precision punksound.
In the meantime I'm working on it. I hope you'll like it when it's done ;)
 
Vocals sounded shaky and nervous. Sing louder and with more confidence and it might sound better. Also, put some verb or a little chorus on them as well.

The song itself (style) is not my cup of tea, but I can see with a more aggressive rythm section, guitars, bass, real drums, it would sound much better.
 
B.sabbath,

I am sending you a pm with the link to the vocals and drums only. I have the wav and mp3 if you are interested.

Gec, is this also what you wanted? I'll pm you too.
 
MisterX,

Thanks for the comments and listen. Very much appreciated. I am going to work hard finding real instrumentalists for my music as soon as school starts.

Boydrj,

thanks man. unfortunately , I dont have a lo-fi version of the song

Erichenryus, took me a while to figure your name out. At first I thought it was a greek god or something. I appreciate the listen.

Clay, thanks for the listen. You da man. Sorry I forgot to say something to you last time.

Guys,

I have a song that is ten times better than this one. The singing is lower and not so aggressive, and the wildcard is more mainstream. Its one of the songs that could be a runaway smash. I will also have a little surprise in it, so watch out for it.
 
JuSumPilgrim said:
This song wins on originality. The vocals totally work, imperfections and all. The almost exaggreated expressiveness is right on. The almost mainstream tenory vocal that is just a hair off center, just a hair exaggerated is money. The vocals inhabit that sweet spot that teases the mainstream ear as something that it hasnt heard yet but isnt too weird and has JUST the right amount of original energy.
The song has a bit of the "bah bada dah bah ba-dada dah dah daaahh..cause the whole world loves it when you make that sound..etc" feel-- that was big six months ago. I forget the name of the group. It was a huge hit on mainstream radio. It reminded me of a Mr Bungle song.

I would use a more syncopated stacatto 90s R&B beat instead of the dancey thing going on now. A groove that would kind of accent the phrasing in the vocals but stay away from a 2/4 feel. I would also go for more muted, dry drum sounds and mix em a bit lower. The piano drops out in some places and is not consistent enough where you want it to stick to a rhythm. The accenting vocals with piano chords sounds amateur ...though enthusiastic.

I dont know about the spoken word thing in the background. It doesnt really add anything. Nice space and EQ on the piano. Theres some distortion from it being too loud in places. Overall great work.
The originality and quality of performance make any mixing issues almost meaningless.

Nice harmonies.
Click to expand...

Jusumpilgrim, Thanks for taking the time to write such a long, detailed reply. You and all the other guys who enjoyed this song and took the time to reply (and also the guys who did not enjoy it but also took time to reply) have made my week.

I agree with you on basically all the issues. The piano would do better with someone who is really a piano player. I just played the chords.

Also, the drums ARE rather loud arent they. I listened to it in a friend's car and the kick almost kicked me out of the car.

The beat was one I actually made for an internet collab, and I played the chorus on it and it "kinda" worked, so I wrote a whole song around it.

I stuck the speaking thing in there to make it kinda "spacey" but I guess it did not work with the rest of the song.

Thanks for commenting on every aspect of the song, jusum. Very much appreciated.
 
JuSumPilgrim said:
It reminded me of a Mr Bungle song.
Click to expand...

ha ha YA! More like something from the "California" album than Disco Vilante or their first one. I didn't notice that, but you're right. Very cool. I like this song personally.
 
wild card for sure man!!!!!!!!

i got to say that i thougt the vox fit just like this(see biz markee remark:D )

dude this is original stuff!!!!!!!! im realy enjoying this!!!

can't wait to hear the bass line.

thank's man

peace

rick
 
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