Hey Fat.
I hope you aren't taking these jibes personally. If you ask for opinions, well, it comes in all shapes sizes and fragrents. My first song was terrible too. Not that I'm saying your song is terrible, or as terrible as mine.
It was bad though.
I thought it was pretty damn good, till I begin taking note of the jerks who said my song stunk.
I spent some time fixing it up and now there is only a slight aroma wiffling from a few parts of it.
Keep at it, keep working on it. If you keep doing something, you get better at it.
Songwriting is hard work, for some of us it's very hard, down right difficult.
There be a great bunch of guys/gals here, each with their own way of trashing someone's hard work.
But the thing is, look beyond what I say, I mean what they say about how bad your song is.
If the song means something to you, Fat, it's worth working on. There ain't too many songs in this world that comes out 'correct' the first time you play it. Editing is as important as writing the song.
Like I said, your song has potentiual, but it needs some work, here and there. I'm not talking about the recording aspect of it. This forum is for songwriting, lyrics and music.
You song is better than some I've heard.
Keep writing, working on that song, we all like to hear success stories, so when you feel ready, post it again, and any revisions in the lyrics and well drive that in the ground too.
j/k.
The trick is, to keep at it. Keep the ideas flowing and using them. Pretty soon it'll come easier, quicker, and the results will show. Guys like Joro, Chris Shauffer, Emeric, Crawdad, and some others, when these guys say something, listen to it, look at your song and imagine what they are talking about. If you need a finer point of view, ask, that's why we are all here.
Hang in there,
Rock On,
Boogie Down,
& Jelly Out.
