New song in progress

[Ashway]

Untold by The Source | Free Listening on SoundCloud

Here is an updated Version: Thank you by The Source | Free Listening on SoundCloud
A "song" without melody and lyrics, except in parts... (last part of verses)

Mixing is one thing.. and arranging, but what I really struggle with is the "style" on this one. Im not sure every parts fit so nicely together?

Should the intro/refrains be changed to fit the singing part better?

 

[dwillis45]

I'm listening on a pair of decent studio phones (Senheiser HD650) and the mix sounds pretty good. I guess I'd want the vocals to be more centered. They sound too panned, left and right. I get it, though, the current mix creates a kind of sound stage where the male and female singers are standing left and right. I'd just push them closer together.

I might also increase the volume of the vocal. My sense is that it sits too far back in the mix. The verse seems a little muffled and I'm having trouble making out the words.

I'd also be tempted to put some air under the mix. Perhaps something more in the high end. Of course, pushing the vocals might solve that.

As far as style, I'm not sure about the beginning. It feel like I walked into a disco. Then the material turns to something else. Maybe it's the bass or the synth bells (?) or the drum beat. I can't quite put my finger on it. The organ sounds great, though, and the middle is pretty good. It even has some dynamic changes which give the ear a break. Too many songs these days don't have that.

Then the break at the end puts me in some sort of light jazz-pop framework. Like the beginning, it's not consistent with the middle. And I think it ends to abruptly. I'd prefer a fade-out, a crescendo of some kind, or even a power pop ending where the guitar player jumps into the air.

 

[Ashway]

I'm listening on a pair of decent studio phones (Senheiser HD650) and the mix sounds pretty good. I guess I'd want the vocals to be more centered. They sound too panned, left and right. I get it, though, the current mix creates a kind of sound stage where the male and female singers are standing left and right. I'd just push them closer together.

I might also increase the volume of the vocal. My sense is that it sits too far back in the mix. The verse seems a little muffled and I'm having trouble making out the words.

I'd also be tempted to put some air under the mix. Perhaps something more in the high end. Of course, pushing the vocals might solve that.

As far as style, I'm not sure about the beginning. It feel like I walked into a disco. Then the material turns to something else. Maybe it's the bass or the synth bells (?) or the drum beat. I can't quite put my finger on it. The organ sounds great, though, and the middle is pretty good. It even has some dynamic changes which give the ear a break. Too many songs these days don't have that.

Then the break at the end puts me in some sort of light jazz-pop framework. Like the beginning, it's not consistent with the middle. And I think it ends to abruptly. I'd prefer a fade-out, a crescendo of some kind, or even a power pop ending where the guitar player jumps into the air.

This is great feedback! Thank you very much. I’ll be sure to change that disco part into something more suitable. I also might simplify the chords in the middle part to just Em, D, C. 2x or something.

I tried to melt things together with the base and everything but its probably the rythm in everything making the beginning out of place in the tune.

 

[Mickster]

I agree with what dwillis45 said and would add that the "organ" is too cheesy. IMO it's just the wrong sound and only adds to the confusion about the style. The vocals do seem too far panned and the need some volume boost. The mix seems a bit too "flat"....as in too up front with not enough depth. I think a little work on this could bring you very surprising results. Thanks for the listen.

 

[Ashway]

I agree with what dwillis45 said and would add that the "organ" is too cheesy. IMO it's just the wrong sound and only adds to the confusion about the style. The vocals do seem too far panned and the need some volume boost. The mix seems a bit too "flat"....as in too up front with not enough depth. I think a little work on this could bring you very surprising results. Thanks for the listen.

Hi. Thanks for commenting. I will work on it a few days and repost the result. There are 3 organ sounds, on 3 seperate tracks. Im guessing you mean the melody thing going on in the beginning? Anyway I think I’ll make the organ more subtle in the mix. The very thing that you reacted to it is enough. ?

 

[Mickster]

Hi. Thanks for commenting. I will work on it a few days and repost the result. There are 3 organ sounds, on 3 seperate tracks. Im guessing you mean the melody thing going on in the beginning? Anyway I think I’ll make the organ more subtle in the mix. The very thing that you reacted to it is enough. ��

My apology........as I should have been more specific about the organ parts. To be honest.....I thought there were only two different sounds......not three. In any case......all of them sounded too "fake" maybe? Just kinda "cheesy" as I mentioned. Sometimes the WAY an instrument is played has a lot to do with how it comes across. Have you thought about leaving the organ out.....or reducing the amount of time it appears in the song? Remember......this is only my opinion.....and that's all. If you like it........that is far more important.

 

[dwillis45]

The thread has devolved into a debate about organs. But I guess that's typical for the internet.

I was actually thinking that the basic organ sound made the track more real, especially compared to the other more synthesized sound. But Mickster could be right. It might not work with the basic style of the song--especially the part in the middle. If the song was Green Onions, you'd have to track the organ. But I'm not sure about today's pop sounds. Maybe it might work better at a low level or lower in the register. Almost like a pad to thicken the mix.

 

[Ashway]

The thread has devolved into a debate about organs. But I guess that's typical for the internet.

I was actually thinking that the basic organ sound made the track more real, especially compared to the other more synthesized sound. But Mickster could be right. It might not work with the basic style of the song--especially the part in the middle. If the song was Green Onions, you'd have to track the organ. But I'm not sure about today's pop sounds. Maybe it might work better at a low level or lower in the register. Almost like a pad to thicken the mix.

lol, Im soon posting an enterily different version so then the organ sounds will be a forgotten subject, I wasnt really happy with those organs anyway

 

[dwillis45]

lol, Im soon posting an enterily different version so then the organ sounds will be a forgotten subject, I wasnt really happy with those organs anyway

Now I'm sad that the organ will be leaving. It's pulling out just when I was about to enjoy the new mix.

---------- Update ----------

Now I'm sad that the organ will be leaving. It's pulling out just when I was about to enjoy the new mix.

Eighth grader!

 

[Ashway]

Update posted, but Im afraid Ive totally ruined the song lol

 

[dwillis45]

Update posted, but Im afraid Ive totally ruined the song lol

It took me a while to figure out that they were the same song. One was was entitled "Untold" the other "Thank You."

 

[dwillis45]

I think the fade at the end is a better way to go than the abrupt ending of the first version. You also seemed to focus the style of the piece to a singular style. It doesn't roll from disco to pop to light jazz anymore. And the words are intelligible with the vocal centered more and raised in the mix.

On the other hand, I think I like the backing vocal better on the first track. I'm not sure if you are using live vocals or some kind of harmonizer, but I liked the female sounding vocal. It's was a nice counterpoint, and it made sense given the lyrics as I interpreted them.

 

[Ashway]

dwillis45 thanks again for commenting, sorry for the late answer, I read it yesterday and did something about it though, track has been updated yet again.. With better vocals I hope.


Anyway, thanks a lot for all Your comments, God bless you

 

[dwillis45]

dwillis45 thanks again for commenting, sorry for the late answer, I read it yesterday and did something about it though, track has been updated yet again.. With better vocals I hope.


Anyway, thanks a lot for all Your comments, God bless you

I think it's really improved. After listening again, I only have two comments. The first is that the stereo mix might be tweaked with EQ, specially in the low end. It sounds a little muddy. I would guess that cutting one or two db around 150kz to 220hz might improve things. The bass sounds a little dominant, so perhaps that's the culprit. Maybe that can benefit from a little EQ rather than the entire low end. Again, I'm listening on Sennheiser HD 650s. Someone else might hear something different.

The other comment is just about the length of the fade. Just judging by ear, I would make it a little longer and a little more gradual.

 

[airsculptor]

Hi - great bass part/sound - but too dominant in the mix - from a general mix eq would like to hear more 1-3khz and some more top end air around 10+ khz.
Vocals need to top of the ear interest - more level, compression 2khz lift.
Try using a multiband limiter like the L3 that has an algorithm that basically changes the eq of the entire mix adding and taking away frequencies - this will give you an insight into how your mix differs from what the algorithm in the L3 or whatever thinks it should sound more like and then make adjustments to your mix accordingly

 

[Ashway]

thanks again dwillis im having a short brake from the mix, Ill post it when its done!

---------- Update ----------

thanks airsculptor, I will try those tips, thanks again

 

[dwillis45]

thanks again dwillis im having a short brake from the mix, Ill post it when its done!

I like to wait six months before considering a mix. By then, the ones you like will turn on you and the ones you hate might not be all that bad.