My first REAL submission.... (but there's still a catch.. :op)

  • Thread starter Thread starter WATYF
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I agree with that! I sing onstage within tomato-throwing distance and don't sound as good as that :D

I didn't hear the first draft with the doubled vox, but this sounds very good. I do think I need to steal your guitar (maybe your fingers too). Seriously, very nice work. I don't see any noticible resemblence to anything I've heard.

I think if you give your vocals a chance and a bit more confidence, you'll start to become the singer you'd like to be (advice I'm trying to take myself these days).
 
Woah man, this is a very good song. I would buy this. Your voice fits very well with the song. Personally I like cat stevens, and you have a very similar voice. You say you are gonna add more instruments to the song. Maybe make two different versions. I think the song will change and have a different feel to it with some drums in there. I love this song though. Women get the best of us. I like the vocal presence in the song. Which mic's did you say you used? Also, this was done with n-Track? Very good job man.
 
about 10 or 11 seconds in, where the guitar stops...it's too clean. Sounds like an edit. Slap a little bit of verb on that one spot, and it'll sound more like what I think you were going for.

This mix sounds a lot better without the doubled vox all over it.

bye
 
great guitar sound.!!..
very cat stevens like!!.."you dont love me...."..needs to be louder..in fact alot of this vocals could be louder...and ill echo the others on .."WHERE THE HELL ARE THE DRUMS"....i mean you read alot of these watyf..posts .."drums need this blah blah"....and then i finally hear a song of yours and you rob me of the opportunity..to rag on YOUR drums..for a change.;) :D

man i really like this song tho...nice job....



jamal







and on a side note unrelated to this thread..:anyone know how to work this "instant messanger" deal....im sure mines on ..?...but it doesnt seem to be working..???..anyway..

great job !!
 
2nd version...just as good...and probably better...but I view it as different instead. However the vocals are at a better volume and the gtrs seem to sound nicer....could that be??;) So...I suppose this IS better.

I am not sure why it bugs me, but having the two gtrs play unision, then something opposing seems to bother me. I would almost take three ac. gtrs... the main on doubled up, perfectly...and the 3rd gtr adding the little ditties you did...and then the 4th (if nec.) for the solo. But, actually, I'd still go with the [over] production theme I like so much...and those parts would be less significant then.

In the backwards intro....I can vaguely hear... ("I am Taylor...give to mixmkr...I am Taylor...give to mixmkr....")

resistance is futile
 
oh...at 2:40...the word "I".... just turn and walk away.... is panned to the right...then swings back to the middle.

Is this a clue?
 
Sweet Guitars man! They sound beautiful! And great playing too. I see no reason not to bring vocal up. Just a notch should do it. I love your voice actually. The stuff after 4:00 is absolutely fabulous, guitars AND vocal. I would like to have both this version and a full instrumentation version on a cd. And I don't mean strings. Something with more character.
Great song....gonna download it. Thanks.
 
O.K.... here goes... :p


Toki.. thanks for the listen. I'm pretty sure the clips are just my stupid WMP beta 9 version... ever since I downloaded the dumb thing, I've had trouble with mp3's sounding crappy.. that's what I get for downloading a Microsoft beta... :p


Kramer.. thanks for re-checking the mix.. I really was stoned (ok, not really) last night when I posted it... anything woulda sounded good to me then, so I figured the mix wouldn't turn out so well the first "round".


crosstudio..
"great job of sliding the vocals over to the left so you could send the harmonized vocals to the right.... i dig the way the two guitars play off of each other and the way the guitar solo comes in-between. in my headphones the solo guitar seems to float above eye level in the middle while the other guitars sit closer to the ground on the left and right. i haven't been able to do that yet.
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.... uh... sure.. yeah... I meant to do all that stuff.... :confused: Seriously.. I have no idea what I'm doing, :cool: I just screw with each channel until it sounds "good" to me. I really don't think I planned any of that stuff... (especially the floating guitar solo :p)... thanks for the listen man.


Track,.. you know.. after all that people have mentioned that guys name, you'd think I would actually listen to his stuff.. but I've never heard Cat before... I may have inadvertently, but I wouldn't know him if I heard him.. anywhoo.. thanks.. I fixed the left/right thing in the new mix... I think it's much better now.


Guernica...
I was thrown a bit by the panning on the vocs..... but after gel'ing with the movement for a bit, I think i see where your going with it."
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actually.. I was just "going" to bed... ;) I didn't really intend the excessive panning, but it's fixed now... See if the new mix took care of what you were talking about. I didn't use any vibrato, but I think I know what you're talking about.. I think it's still a little strong at the end.. I may tweak the mix a bit more still... I still have issues with my vocals.. I can never get them to "sit" in the mix like everyone else does.. I'm not sure why.


participant... you know.. I did catch the Stairway to Heaven similarity (with the Am G F progression) but I know aboot a trillion songs that use that same one, so I wasn't too worried aboat it. :p I wish I could put drums to this, but there's just no way at the moment. Thanks for the listen.


SixString,.. thanks for the input,... let me know if the new mix takes care of what you were talking about. I tried to make the main vocal a little more "bare" like you were saying.. I actually like it better that way now. :p


JR#97.. thanks, but I still kinda recoil when I listen to myself.. especially during certain "notes" (if you can call em that... :p )


dave... yeah.. check the new mix... let me know.. I still think I need to tweak some stuff. It's not bad in headphones, (actually, I mixed the original mix using only headphones.) but it sounds better (pun intended.. :p) on my studio monitors when I play it loud... I'm not sure why.. for some reason playing it louder makes it sound better...


twist...
"It sounds like your trying to camouflage your vocal."
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ding!ding!ding!ding!ding! give the man a prize... :D That's usually what I do when I mix.. I try to drown my vocals in panning and doubling and effects just to make em sound bearable to me. But you were mentioning exactly what I was talking aboot... I was worried that I had heard something like this before and was just subconsciously re-writing it without knowing it... but I guess that's not the case. Thanks for the listen.


mix... actually.. my Taylor tunes itself... I just sit it down and tell it what tuning I want it in, and it takes care of the rest... it's actually quite a handy feature... ;) :p I'm not sure I'm totally following you on your production idea... I'm more of a "boring" guy myself... I'd prolly just use driving electric guitars after the "build" part.. and the solos would be electric gits.. etc... and, of course, there will be some kick @ss drums in this tune... :p Although, I do hear the Rhodes in there... oddly enough, one of the guitars resonated at the very end and it almost sounded like an organ fading out so I brought it up a little in the mix.. you can hear it just after it all comes "crashing down", right before the slow ending part.


macle... what are you smoking?!?!?! you wish you could sing like me??? :eek: :eek: dang man... if I had as much talent as you have in your left pinky finger I'd be better off... :p Thanks for the comments... I got rid of most of the doubling so it should be better now... (and what's with all the "aboots", huh...?? you're not some kinda weird Canadian or something, are you? ;) :p )


David.. thanks, but I'm still looking for a singer... :p There's actually a part in the song that I had to change because it was too high for me... I really don't have much of a range at all... (kinda sucks :p )


badgas.. thanks man... are you "back"...? didn't you leave or something? (I thought I heard rumors about it.. :p ) anywhoo.. if do, then welcome back... and if not.. then.. uh.. just ignore me.. I'm a retard.. :p


chris... shhhhhh... don't give away my secret... :p actually,.. I don't think my stuff can touch Erlands.. he's got that natural born talent that most people can only wish they had. btw, the new mix fixes the doubling problems, but there's not much I can do for the flats... (unfortunately) :p


shackrock... one Oktava MC012 pointed straight at the twelfth fret about 6 inches away. I use the bass cut on my DMP3 mic pre to get rid of that overly "thick" sound. It's still a little boomy, but not bad. Over-all I'm satisfied with the MC12... and it only cost me 75 bucks... ya can't beat that with a stick... :p


Slack.. I'm glad you could listen... I know the gits get a little boomy but I'm not real sure how to get rid of that... and I agree that there should be "more" happening during the solo.. but.. well.. that's aboot all I can pull off... :p no joke, dude.. that one stupid piddly little solo took me at least 20 takes... at least... prolly more... I can just never get solos down without screwin' up every other note, so I try to keep 'em simple.


Sean.. thanks for the comments.. I have grown more "used" to my vocals, but I really just don't like em... and I definitely don't have the range I want from a singer.. I don't think confidence is ever gonna get me that.. :p P.S. Sorry.. if you wanna steal my git, you'll have to get in line behind mix... :p


soundprism... I think I may do that... (make two versions).. I kinda like the acoustic feel, but this really does need to "jam" at a certain point. And you say you'd buy it eh? How much? :p The mics were: C-1 for vocals, MC012 for gits.. that's aboot it.. and I use n-Track... I have a few cheesy (read "free") VST plugins, but other than that.. it's just me and a guitar... I really do need to bite the bullet and get some good plugins. P.S. It's not aboot a woman... :p


chris... (part 2) That's because it is an edit... :p I "sniffled" right at that part... I was so ticked afterwards cause I couldn't find a decent way to edit it out without making it obvious.. but I didn't feel like doing a punch-in so I just messed with the volume envolopes until it was "ok"... it's not "so" bad, but I know it's there so it kinda annoys me. :p I had that problem a lot actually... (sniffling and what not being picked up by the mic) how do "real" guitarist get around that...?? every time I moved or shuffled my feet or breathed through my nose, the dumb noise would get picked up by the mic... how do they take care of that stuff???


jamal.. thanks for the comments, but unfortuantely, I have no way of recording drums right now.. I really wish I could. When I have the means to do so, my recordings will prolly all have drums in em... (and lots of em too... :p )


mix (part 2) LOLOL... actually, the reverse swell says, "I am Taylor... don't you wish you had me... you do, don't you? yeah mixmkr.. I'm talkin' to you...." :D :p I actually agree aboot the guitar parts... (as previously mentioned) I really didn't plan any of this out.. I just sat down and decided to record this and just started farting out guitar parts and mixing em together.. it wasn't until after I was done all the parts that I realized that two of the parts were almost exactly identical (one finger picked, the other picked).... but I'm not gonna sweat it... when it's done for "real" I'm sure it'll be thought oat a lot better. And what do you mean "a clue"... I "meant" to pan it that way... well.. ok.. so actually.. it was a total accident... (I had it panned that way during editing, and I just kinda left it like that) :p but still.. I kinda like it. :p

and last, but most certainly not least...

Sluice.. thanks a lot for the comments.. I'm sure if this ever goes on a CD, you guys will be the first to have a copy. :p I kinda agree.. I don't think that strings would go too well.. but what else would you suggest? (other than a china boy... ;) :D :cool: :p )


WATYF
 
WATYF said:
chris... (part 2) That's because it is an edit... :p I "sniffled" right at that part... I was so ticked afterwards cause I couldn't find a decent way to edit it out without making it obvious.. but I didn't feel like doing a punch-in so I just messed with the volume envolopes until it was "ok"... it's not "so" bad, but I know it's there so it kinda annoys me. :p I had that problem a lot actually... (sniffling and what not being picked up by the mic) how do "real" guitarist get around that...?? every time I moved or shuffled my feet or breathed through my nose, the dumb noise would get picked up by the mic... how do they take care of that stuff???

A gate :) I just x-y mic'ed some acoustic tonight with mc012s, and had the gate set at about -44db... worked pretty well... but a few inadvertent lip-smacks or something snuck in :D

I have no way of recording drums right now.. I really wish I could. When I have the means to do so, my recordings will prolly all have drums in em... (and lots of em too... :p )

Until then:Drumagog ... DirectX, tho...[/B]
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The only thing I heard was a little boominess in the acoustics, especially in the beginning. I don't know what your EQ options are, but a slight cut ~150Hz might help some.

I'm a big fan of Taylors to begin with, and you did a sweet job of blending the guitar tracks. And forget getting someone else to sing this. Your voice is perfect for the tune.
 
Great song and performance. The acoustic guitars are a touch muddy but the whole vibe is great.
 
Nice performance- The guitars are played well-they sound a little bit bottom hvy-the high end sheen on them is nice though. Your vox sound real good-perfect for the tune really. I try to avoid the progression of this song--that stairway-watchtower-thing but you did a good job in masking the cliche of the progression. Real nice solo section-and I like that ending chord alot---very nice overall..
 
Dude- I think you nailed it this time! Believe me, the rest of the world will be much more accepting of your voice than you are. Hell, some people can even listen to Bob Dylan or Mick Jagger and you never hear anyone suggest that they shouldn't be singing their own songs. If you pay attention, you'll hear a lot of songs with marginal to average singers. Not everyone can sing like Paul Mc Cartney. Yet most writers want to sing their own songs, and most listeners want the writers to sing their own songs IMHO.

Twist
 
The new mix sounds MUCH better. Nice Song. I would like the vocal to be turned up just a tad on some of the passages that decresendo (~ 0:25, 0:36, etc). I simply can't understand the lyrics and have to infer them. (Coming from a person who thought "Hotel California" lyrics were "they stab it with their stealing eyes. . .")

All of the religious allusions indicate the depth of the former relationship and are highly effective (0:41 "When my day was turned to night, I have found myself raised from the dead. . ."). The religious imagery raises the relationship to almost a covenant status, but is not blatant or overbearing.

Exactly what are the lyrics. . .?
(0:25) In my wake I see (the light?)
(0:36) I can use these thing to (get a life??)
(1:48) In my (trace?) I see the light

(2:03) "In (the ways? waves?) of my own mind
lies the face of all this mess I've made" ----did I understand that correctly? If so, I think you should rethink this metaphor. What does this mean? Your mess has a face? or is that the face of your lover?

(4:46) In my wake I see your (lies?) ---I hope I hear that correctly because that's such a nice way to end the song. Although there is a lot of pain in the song, it has a positive spin ---things will be better. And the realization, though painful, that this person was lying is really a positive thing.

Sorry to have been so analytical. I think I had to break it down and analyze it because I had such a hard time understanding. I am such a prime candidate for mishearing lyrics. BTW, There used to be a funny website www.kissthisguy.com that listed misheard lyrics.
 
twist ---i don't see your link. That's too bad about kissthisguy.com ---it was really funny.
 
twist said:
Yet most writers want to sing their own songs, and most listeners want the writers to sing their own songs IMHO.
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A-MEN!
 
twist.. thanks, but I'm not really lookin' to sing my own stuff. I'd rather play drums (usually)... I like singin' and playing guitar here and there, but I don't want to be a frontman. I'd prefer to write 'em and find someone with a mesmerizing voice sing 'em. I just don't think mine can cut it when it gets to a certain range.


dave...... dang.. that was some serious analytics.. :p Actually... you were wrong on a few of those lyrics.. :p but oddly enough, the vocals seem a tid bit loud on my speakers... may I ask what you're listening on?

Anywhoo... the song isn't about a chick.. :p (or any relationship..) it's about a spiritual struggle. (thus the "religious allusions".) Each component of the song is to a different audience.. the verse to once group, the bridge to another, and the chorus to another... so when it says "you", it's not always talking to the same person. The song, as a whole, is basically about becoming a better person. I'll leave the rest of the explanation up to your imaginiation.. :p


But here's some "translation" on the lyrics you asked aboot... :p



"In my wake I see the plight..."

"When my day was turned to night, I had found myself raised from the dead..."

"I can use these things to get ahead..."

"In my trace I see the lines..."

"In the ways of my own mind, lies the face of all this mess I've made.." (roughly translated, that mean, "the problem is all in my head"... :p )

"In my wake I see your lies..." (this is basically the antithesis to the opening line which states, "in my way I see the plight")



Actually.. I appreciate the analytical breakdown... I myself do that when I listen to stuff... it's always interesting to hear how different people interpret a song.


WATYF
 
Fantastic!!

I would buy that song. My very strong opinion is..........Dont do anything else except work your levels and EQ. I wouldnt add another part or anything. I could swear I was listening to Ben Harper. You see, some people can sing great but have boring voices, no color. You have a very cool voice but are not allowing yourself to have confidence in yourself. I think the best thing to do is just cut loose and let everyone else be the judge. People on this board are certainly gonna be honest with you. I think it sounds great, would like the voice up a little higher in the mix, and cut some lower frequency on the guitars to allow some more room for the vocals. I bet if you cut some bass on the guitars that will fix the vocal level issue right there.

Two thumbs up and five stars here!

Brian
 
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