Is this even close..to being, original?

Hey freshears(AKA David, I didn't know you changed your name... why, too unoriginal? :D )

As for the originallity of this tune. Nothing struck me as a blatent rip off anything.

-The intro is too long. You could add an instrument during the second 4 bar passage before the drums hit.

- The first verse is too long.

- The bluesy chord progression part that kicks doesn't seem to fit to me. I'd prefer stopping at 1:25 and splicing that with 1:45. In otherwords remove that whole section.

- The 2:19 section is cool.

- 2:28 - Paul Rodgers! I like that section the most of all.

It's a cool tune, like it. Just seems a bit disjointed. Certain parts don't blend as well as they could, some could be removed.

I like it though, very nice tune! Just needs some better arrangement (of the different sections and the order they fall in).
 
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kool

Emeric said:
Hey freshears(AKA David, I didn't know you changed your name... why, too unoriginal? :D )

As for the originallity of this tune. Nothing struck me as a blatent rip off anything.

-The intro is too long. You could add an instrument during the second 4 bar passage before the drums hit.

- The first verse is too long.

- The bluesy chord progression part that kicks doesn't seem to fit to me. I'd prefer stopping at 1:25 and splicing that with 1:45. In otherwords remove that whole section.

- The 2:19 section is cool.

- 2:28 - Paul Rodgers! I like that section the most of all.

It's a cool tune, like it. Just seems a bit disjointed. Certain parts don't blend as well as they could, some could be removed.

I like it though, very nice tune! Just needs some better arrangement (of the different sections and the order they fall in).
Click to expand...

I dig everything you're saying here...just gotta soak it all up LOL. Just so you know, i'm on adats and i don't see any "splicing" in the works haha, but retracking might not be outta the picture.

Hey me and you go way back to day one on this board, I appreciate you taking the time to listen Emeric, your one of the "heavy weights", I admire in this clinic. Thanks..
 
HEY DAVID!...



im listening on crappy comp speakers....


man this sounds pretty good to me..the bass really NICE...
bass drum seems punchy without being clicky...i kinda like "clicky" but this sounds great ...where it gets heavier i like that alot....

harmonies real silky smoove...
if you didnt listen to a lot of cheap trick in your life....WELL THEY TOTALLY RIPPED YOU OFF!!!!...you seem to be more soulfull in this vocal damn thats nice.......

LEAD GUITAR AWESOME.
man the mix seems fine to me...if anything it might be a bit "bassy"...but im shitty speakers......ill burn this and play it in the car .......



beback.

jamal
 
Nice fat production!

I agree with Emeric on a few bits, notably adding another texture on the 4 bar into repeat... The blues section does seem a little bit "stuck in there". It's a darker color than the rest, and doesn't quite fit naturally. Plus, it never comes back to visit a second time, making it seem even more arbitrary. It's well executed though! I hear a little America influence here... As I said in the header, production is nice and fat, it coul maybe just a smidgen of final mastering tweaking to even off a few teeny balance irregularities, nothing to moan about though.

The lead vocal is strong and powerful, I noticed a little diction sloppiness, mostly on rolled off ends of words, but it fits for rock/pop stuff. Wonderful range and purity of tone.

Nice stuff!!!
Cheers!
Phil "Llarion: The Jazzinator" Traynor
www.llarion.com
Check out my debut Smooth Jazz CD on Llarion's Lair Records, "a dichotomy of silence"
 
As far as tracks go and "sonics" this IS the best recording you've posted to date.What in the heck did you figure out in the last few weeks?LOL.The tracks are leaps and bounds above your previous stuff.....oh yeah,Im digging this man.The build up to the solo at 3:02 is killer!Great breakdown at 3:52...this is my kind of music...southern to the core with Paul Rodgers on Vocals.:D.Your vocals kick arse man....sonicly you have this mix sounding great to my ears...is this your old drummer on this one?Sounds like it.

I agree with some of emerics suggestions on the arrangement but thats your call when it comes down to it.It wouldnt hurt to make a few changes to aappeal to a wider audience....I like it like it is...I just dig your brand of homegrown mississippi Rock and Roll.

[edit to add]That delay tail on the lead vocal is perfect.
 
Jamal Bucket said:
HEY DAVID!...



im listening on crappy comp speakers....


man this sounds pretty good to me..the bass really NICE...
bass drum seems punchy without being clicky...i kinda like "clicky" but this sounds great ...where it gets heavier i like that alot....

harmonies real silky smoove...
if you didnt listen to a lot of cheap trick in your life....WELL THEY TOTALLY RIPPED YOU OFF!!!!...you seem to be more soulfull in this vocal damn thats nice.......

LEAD GUITAR AWESOME.
man the mix seems fine to me...if anything it might be a bit "bassy"...but im shitty speakers......ill burn this and play it in the car .......



beback.



.you seem to be more soulfull in this vocal damn thats nice.......
Click to expand...

Hey bro, really...thanks for that. Yeah might be a bit bassy...i'll give that a check myself...oh btw, I mailed Draggon about the username stuff...I even told him of my dear friend "Jamal" , hahaa! But he still dosen't get it! Or won't get it! I don't fuckin know:D I did tell him though! He's a most busy guy i guess. Thanks big time bro.

Llarion- I tend to agree with Emeric too on some things, but right now it's a long way from getting re-tracked..(drummer issues) you understand eh?:) yeah the mix is a long way's off, i know that..i'm in good company though, thanks Llarion!

Kramer-
is this your old drummer on this one?
Click to expand...
Hey yeah man..27 yr's with this guy...I love hm like the brother he is. He came down from Memphis this last weekend and we had a party:) This song is over thirteen yrs old, played it live at the V.F.W in Jackson ms in 92...you did get that didn't ya V.F.W. LOL!! It rocked the old crowd haha. Hey I don't know what kind of changes I could make to appeal to a wider audience:confused: :D ...it's just fucking me at my best LOL! I suck! Thanks Kramer, wished i was even worthy of your reviews man:) You rock
Click to expand...
 
leaps and bounds above your previous stuff.....
Click to expand...

ok, now thats what i'm really here for, and I know you've listened to a lot of my crap hehe! I still suck though :D
 
This sounded really good here.

I really liked the vocalist's sound. The song did sound like it was 80's influenced so it makes sense when you said it was 12 years old.

It sounded to me like this could be branched off into several different songs, like it's a medley or something. I was more fond of certain movements over others, my favorite was the intro so you started on a strong note here, but all of them sounded well produced. Good job!
 
Sounds pretty good!

Some minor mix issues though:

The acoustic on the left is kinda buried in the beginning.

The vocal is a bit harsh in the upper-mids. Maybe scoop it just a bit.

The bass is kinda thick. Hitting the lo-cut button on my amp cleaned it up quite a bit. Watch those subsonics! Digital has a nasty habit of piling up bass feqs.

Maybe add just a bit more "sheen" on the cymbals.;)

I dig the tune, and your performance is great as usual.:cool:
 
Real clean sound. You have a very good singing voice. Good, strong, and clear. The vox are crystal clear, I can make out every word. I liked the way the guitar parts intermixed. Liked that bass run that began at 1:29.

I think the acoustic guit might have some exagerated highs. Maybe pull some of them down. I think the vox are just a bit too far forward in the mix. They're a bit dry, so I also think just a hint of a nice warm Medium Room verb would fit real nice.

For some reason, I don't think the low harmonies begining at 2:30 work all that well.

The buildup of sound around 3:01 was a bit too dramatic. Good lead guit work right after that though. Good sound on that lead guit too.

I wonder if you can increase the attack on that bass by giving it an EQ boost at 800hz or so. Might enhance things a bit.

Just trying to make this better if I can. But I think it's already pretty darn good.
 
David,
I think you did a great job on this. From what I remember from your previous recordings, this sounds a lot better.

Your vocs were great. The verb was awesome.

I liked the different parts to mix things up. Sure, it could be shortened for the masses, but who cares? If that's your song, especially since you said it's 13 years old, then that's your song.

I think others have touched on the frequency issues to fix. No help here!

This really is not my style, but I thought you nailed it.

One thing, the cymbals and hat did not seem in the same space as the toms and bass drum. I think some more "presence" would help. I don't know if that means EQ, volume or what. ;) :)

Great work!
 
No time for a detailed listen 'cause I'm on my lunch break. But just had to stop in to say this is awesome. Great songwriting and performance as is all your stuff I've heard so far. But I can definetly tell that more work went into the arrangement and mix.
More later...
 
Ok, more careful listen. Still sounds awesome! I love the arrangement - makes it more interesting than the average pop song.

Very hard to criticize, but here is what I can come up with. The electric rythym guitars sound kind of buried to me. It sounds like it could come up and the acoustic could come down in spots. At 1:28 for example the electric guitar should really kick, but it sounds kind of buried.

A couple little "clicks" right around 1:40 that sound like the result of the acoustie being the slightest bit off from the drums.

Vocals are unbelieveable, but might be a little too loud.

Acoustic is a little harsh. Gets in the way some late in the song. Maybe could use some high end rolled off?

All and all - beautiful! Only getting nit-picky 'cause it's so good.
 
David, this song kicks ass! If you were ripping somebody off, your the only one that knows it. I didn't hear anything obvious. It's one thing to be influenced by a certain artist or genre, and quite another to out and out copy someones material. I'd say you have every right to consider this an original tune, and a damn good one!


Twist
 
always some good rock and roll from you..

I listened on my 20/20's (I think you said you use 20/20's?) I think the vocals are a bit too loud and the guitars seems a bit low in spots.. good song.. yeah the vocals sound loud to me.. It didn't sound too bassy on the events but it sounded a hair bassy on the Bose.. always a good listen man..


-edit- drums seem a hair too laid back in spots.. (the playing) maybe not... nice guitar solo.. I like the sound you had there..
 
Smokin man! Nice production Good recording I think the vocals
are where they should be atleast for my system,
To many people shove the vocals down on alot of modern shit these days and it just eats my ass when I hear it.

I dont want to strain to hear what the singer is saying.

Again great production.
 
hangover alert!

Khompewtur- Thanks, yeah i'm all about 80's:D . I quit listening to radio in 1990, maybe I need to turn it back on. Thanks again..

M.Brane- Haven't had time to give this anymore listens so far. but I knew that bass had some problems and the cymbals also, I'll check the other stuff too. Great calls man and Thanks!

TripleM-
For some reason, I don't think the low harmonies begining at 2:30 work all that well
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See, now I knew you was gonna get me on that LOL! Just starting out trying to sing with my own voice Trip, got's a long way's to go:) . I'll see if i can tame thoes exagerated highs on the acoustics, they bother me too. Great stuff Trip, I thank ya much!

fprod south-
A couple little "clicks" right around 1:40 that sound like the result of the acoustie being the slightest bit off from the drums.
Click to expand...
Man I hope not, but you're probably right. Yeah vox are kinda hot in spots. I'll work on them acoustics. Big thanks man!

twist- Agreed!:D , i've been called a "rip off" artist lot's of times and sometimes it was true i guess, but it still didn't set well. thanks alway's twist!

B.SABBATH- Yeah sami 20/20's here, i still haven't learned them as good as i need to though. Vocals might be a little to hot i guess, i'll give it another go before long.
edit- drums seem a hair too laid back in spots.. (the playing) maybe not... nice guitar solo.. I like the sound you had there..
Click to expand...
Yeah my drummers a little laid back..alway's is, but he's one of these guys that can "not play" for twelve months and you wouldn't ever know it:) . Appreciate that Sam!

Herm-
I dont want to strain to hear what the singer is saying.
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same here, but I tend to over do it sometimes:) i need to listen to this in a few more systems other than my own...haven't done that yet. Thanks Herm!
 
Sounds good over here -- blatant rip-off...no, I don't hear anything that blatantly stands out...

I really like this tune and you've got a great voice. Very nice vocals. I wouldv'e liked the drums to come up a bit in the mix. They kind of sounded buried a bit.

Anyway, what is a rip-off anyway...John Lennon said "there are only twelve notes" so, you know, everything is kind of borrowed anyway, isn't it...who gives a rat's ass, as long as it sounds good, and this does!

Great tune and well executed!

:)
 
boydrj said:
Sounds good over here -- blatant rip-off...no, I don't hear anything that blatantly stands out...

I really like this tune and you've got a great voice. Very nice vocals. I wouldv'e liked the drums to come up a bit in the mix. They kind of sounded buried a bit.

Anyway, what is a rip-off anyway...John Lennon said "there are only twelve notes" so, you know, everything is kind of borrowed anyway, isn't it...who gives a rat's ass, as long as it sounds good, and this does!

Great tune and well executed!

:)
Click to expand...

sorry missed ya there, yeah guess everyone's borrowed things to some degree...Lord knows i have:) Drums buried? Was thinking that myself. Thanks for checking it out boydrj!
 
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