Well thank you again everyone. really do appreciate the comments. This is really helping me. It is very nice to have some golden ears giving me an objective opinion. Some comments are comfirming things I thought, and others are bringing up new things I did not realize.
IanW-UK
I agree wih the dynamics. I generally write to include the rest of the band for most of the song for shows, however I think I need to start looking at writing in a little more of a "whats best for the song" viewpoint rather than what will make my band happy. I like the idea about possibly using the bass for variation rather than just for the bottom end I was worried about earlier. I do have harmonies in it but they are mainly for thickening and not for listening, maybe I should pop thos eup a bit at certain parts?
Tmix
The Cello is playing during the stop chords, are you saying to maybe have a different part for the Cello that is actually playing over top of the stop chords? Kind of in the same veign as the violin does in the second verse? I have some harmonics that I play in between the stop chords on my guitar that I couldn't get to sound right in recording with the time I had for this, they will be added at another time. Possibly this would have helped the beginning. I like the idea of adding weight later on with a synth. I actually just recorded another guy and he had a synth part he put under his acoustic throughout the song. I thought in general it was more than I would have prefered, but I went through and did some "heavy automation" (Nice 80's metal band name eh?) on it to follow the emotion of the song, it made a huge difference. Because now it became more than just a background part, and became a feeling. You would feel the song start to build and then the synth would just take it to the next level.
Thanks for the comment about the vocal, it is funny because I am getting mixed opinions on how the viocal sits. From some other people I have everything form it sitting perfect to it fighting with the strings, so it being too thin and it also being too fat. I like how they are to me in my monitors, but it is hard to apply the advise I am getting with this part of it because the viewpoints are coming from all over the place. If you listen to the other one I have up "Liberty" my vox are less beefy in the lows and that may be the vocal you would prefer to this one as far as tone goes. I like them both for different reasons, but I can see what you are saying.
Anyway thanks all so far, I am really eating this up. This will help me that much more with future writing. I will post another soon. Thanks. ken