G
geekgurl
New member
Barefoot:
Yes, I think your situation DOES highlight, to a degree, why less women are in the industry ... but it kinda works both ways. If there was a guy I was working with and my husband resented that particular person, wrongfully or not, it would affect and even impede that working relationship.
I'm so sorry to hear about that situation between your wife and the friend you can't associate with. And I say that in the spirit of being an ambassador of women; I don't like to see women cutting other women down (aside from legit digs on someone's ethics or abilities not related to sex). I am married and have played in many bands, often as the only woman. I have an expansive list of interests in many fields, but music is my love, and along the way, I've associated with many men. Without fail they have been fantastic friends and colleagues, and for my own experience I totally believe you when you say your intentions were noble with your friend.
I found my pursuits early in life, so any man that came along afterwards would have to be "together" enough to understand and be OK with the fact that he was not going to control whom I associated with on a professional/hobby level. In short, he'd have to trust me. Fortunately, I found someone who does. In turn, I behave in a manner to earn his trust.
It's sad that I even have to bring these things up, but it's really, like you said, an obvious aspect of this issue. Maybe your wife is jealous because she doesn't have the same interests, or the same level of interest/capability in anything, and is threatened by the presence of a "capable" woman? That's just as bad as a sexist man who won't give a woman a chance because of her sex in my opinion, because both attitudes inhibit the ability of women to get ahead.
Anyway, thought I'd reply. BTW, I live in the SF area, too. SO many recording/playing female artists out here. You and your wife will run into many more than the friend you had to leave behind.
Yes, I think your situation DOES highlight, to a degree, why less women are in the industry ... but it kinda works both ways. If there was a guy I was working with and my husband resented that particular person, wrongfully or not, it would affect and even impede that working relationship.
I'm so sorry to hear about that situation between your wife and the friend you can't associate with. And I say that in the spirit of being an ambassador of women; I don't like to see women cutting other women down (aside from legit digs on someone's ethics or abilities not related to sex). I am married and have played in many bands, often as the only woman. I have an expansive list of interests in many fields, but music is my love, and along the way, I've associated with many men. Without fail they have been fantastic friends and colleagues, and for my own experience I totally believe you when you say your intentions were noble with your friend.
I found my pursuits early in life, so any man that came along afterwards would have to be "together" enough to understand and be OK with the fact that he was not going to control whom I associated with on a professional/hobby level. In short, he'd have to trust me. Fortunately, I found someone who does. In turn, I behave in a manner to earn his trust.
It's sad that I even have to bring these things up, but it's really, like you said, an obvious aspect of this issue. Maybe your wife is jealous because she doesn't have the same interests, or the same level of interest/capability in anything, and is threatened by the presence of a "capable" woman? That's just as bad as a sexist man who won't give a woman a chance because of her sex in my opinion, because both attitudes inhibit the ability of women to get ahead.
Anyway, thought I'd reply. BTW, I live in the SF area, too. SO many recording/playing female artists out here. You and your wife will run into many more than the friend you had to leave behind.
I think it has something to do with whether you have an innie or an outie as the collection device.
