How Do I Do This?

[mx_mx]

I was serious as a fucking heart attack!!


not really!!....I used the smilie thingys to show that I was being sarcastic.....happy now fuckers? ......... < see?...another smilie thingy.

Fuck you. Fucking asshole wanker































<---Look. As long as you do this, you can say whatever you want. I think I found a cave loophole

 

[brandrum]

Fuck you. Fucking asshole wanker


<---Look. As long as you do this, you can say whatever you want. I think I found a cave loophole

I know...kinda cool huh?

 

[Rokket]

Fuck you. Fucking asshole wanker

<---Look. As long as you do this, you can say whatever you want. I think I found a cave loophole

Hmmmmm.... That's probably not something to spread around. Could be catastrophic in the wrong hands.

 

[legionserial]

How can I get the best drum kit recording with no mics? I have no mics.
My budget is about 10 dollars, what can I do? I really want my drums to sound like John Bonham.

Please help!!!!!

Also, I heard that I need a mixer. Can I use my mom's cordless mixer and will it plug straight into my computer?

Oh yeah, do I need to compress the mixer with something? I heard that too. I have a trash compactor, will that work?

By the way, I want to start recording bands in my kitchen. How much should I charge?

Sounds like you don't need any help to me. You seem to be on the right track. Just piece some random junk together with old bits of string and duct tape and hit record. Thats what I do. Isn't that a metaphore for home recording anyway? I figure its better to start with the intention of making it all sound like shit, that way I'm never disappointed.

Hint: If it sounds like St Anger, hit delete....thats all you need to know.

As for the drums. Getting that John Bonham sound?..simple. Triggering. Basically, take you fav Led Zep tune, get an EQ. EQ the shit out of it till all you can really hear is the drums. Save that as a sample. Attach it to the trigger on your snare. Hit the snare. Hey presto! Instant John Bonham sounding drums. Just don't hit the snare again for another 5 minutes unless you are going for that 'tourettes club' sound.

 

[Dogman]

Well, I been holding out. The real answer is, Save up $100k. Then, call me. Have lots of beer on hand, and chocolate donuts. I will take care of the rest. I promise.

 

[jonnyc]

You guys are fucking idiots. If you're going to mix then mix ITB which means the milk goes into your pc, NOT the compactor, because as we all know you can't compress the milk going in while mixing ITB. Well you can, but you run the risk of squashing the milk too much. Just do it like I told you and don't talk back to me.

 

[metalhead28]

You guys are fucking idiots. If you're going to mix then mix ITB which means the milk goes into your pc, NOT the compactor, because as we all know you can't compress the milk going in while mixing ITB. Well you can, but you run the risk of squashing the milk too much. Just do it like I told you and don't talk back to me.

ITB....that means "In The Butt" right?
I'm getting confusing information here.
MX-MX told me to have my mom do the mixing....but I don't really want to pour milk or compress anything going into her butt. Is there an alternate method?

 

[Dogman]

ITB....that means "In The Butt" right?
I'm getting confusing information here.
MX-MX told me to have my mom do the mixing....but I don't really want to pour milk or compress anything going into her butt. Is there an alternate method?

Yes...but first, what does your mom look like?

 

[Garik]

Guys come on!!!!

The man asked serious question,and all you do is fricking take the inosent questions and turn them into jokes

Grow up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

when will these people learn,we are here to help eachother not making fun of metalhead.

 

[legionserial]

I think ITB means in the box. So I guess you need to put her in a box first. Maybe with some arm holes for her to mix with. And I guess you have to shout directions to her. Either that or cut some eye holes. Then I think you need to attach a carton of milk to your pc via USB, whilst stamping on the carton, thereby compressing it. Then, when the mix is nearly done, you need to bodyslam everything around you, including the box and the milk and pc. I think this is what they mean by 'squashing the fuck out of a mix'. This is good. Apparently it makes you lots of money.

 

[metalhead28]

I think ITB means in the box. So I guess you need to put her in a box first. Maybe with some arm holes for her to mix with. And I guess you have to shout directions to her. Either that or cut some eye holes. Then I think you need to attach a carton of milk to your pc via USB, whilst stamping on the carton, thereby compressing it. Then, when the mix is nearly done, you need to bodyslam everything around you, including the box and the milk and pc. I think this is what they mean by 'squashing the fuck out of a mix'. This is good. Apparently it makes you lots of money.

So you're saying I've got to bodyslam my mom to get a good, loud mix?
Seems reasonable. I'll have to think about it tho.

 

[rayc]

HOLD IT,
Here's a serious question. One I've ondered about a lot. I know what the etxts say but when it comes to reality what do you RALLY do..
Is it M.I.F. or M.I.L.?
& I'm not referring to M.I.L.F. either. One way you tke a chance of scorching it & getting curd the other way well is another way.
Oh, point of clarification - this is not in reference to tea bags - that's another story entirley.
I feel I need a cold compress.
Cheers
rayC

 

[Garik]

HOLD IT,
Here's a serious question. One I've ondered about a lot. I know what the etxts say but when it comes to reality what do you RALLY do..
Is it M.I.F. or M.I.L.?
& I'm not referring to M.I.L.F. either. One way you tke a chance of scorching it & getting curd the other way well is another way.
Oh, point of clarification - this is not in reference to tea bags - that's another story entirley.
I feel I need a cold compress.
Cheers
rayC

Finally someone said something worth reading!

 

[Garik]

But on the different note,if you look at this topic in the scientifical exageration,it comes to mind that once one was turning the curd over,another one may or may not present it self in a new way of compressing through the mixer in analog.

Simply put,the extravagant compression may receive the ambience from the true way of the consideraton in the close relation of the product we have described in the previous posts.

in other words,this may or may not present it self on the note that one should compress in something other than the ITB, yet in the places of the analog the Behringer may or may not present it self as the opposition to the true compression though the digital domain.



Thank you for not listening

 

[rayc]

Precisely.

 

[Dogman]

I'm confused...is Metalhead related to sweetnubs?

 

[metalhead28]

You guys are fucking geniuses!

 

[Rokket]

You guys are fucking geniuses!

You won't be saying that if I posted my thoughts on this very milky subject....

 

[rayc]

C'mon,
Back to the topic.
PANNING - do you use a heavy "caste iron" skillet or one of the new fangled eelectrick frypans?
INPUT - I use a good ol fashioned grinder - you know the ol fashioned beastie that clamps to the desk.
Not that I'm too genre based but when it comes to POP stuff my wife prefers the older technologies - hot cookin' oil, heavy panning & a heavy top to keep the lid on the critters.
My only experience of SOUL grits down here is the sandy stuff that you can't wash out of boch choy.
Hmm - I'm beginning to pad things now.
ISO BOOTH - would the Birdman's cell in ALcatraz have been any good for recording - sans boidies that is.

 

[omtayslick]

You can get a good air compressor from an industrial supplier, some even hire them out for a small fee.

Once again, we must be reminded that this is HOME recording! Sears should have a Craftsman compressor that will suit your needs.