Help! Need some idea's for this one

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Walktausha

New member
Would you guys rate this for me say from one to ten so I'll know if I should keep working on it? It's up-beat country?, maybe southern rock?, not sure at this point. Thanks !!

Take Me To Your Leader

Well last night she said she's leavin', and I guess it's for the best
So I went down to a bar in town, Just to try to cool my jets
The more I sat there thinkin', and pourin' down the beers
That's when this idea hit me, I gotta' get away from here!

Hey take me to your leader, I'm ready for the trip
I've got everything that I own, And I'm looking for the ship
Thought I'd make a brand new start, In a place I've never been
Take me to your leader, I'm outta this world again

Pour me up a strong-- one, and I'll tell you about my plan
You just can't get there sober, so put that fuel in my hand
She thinks that I'll miss her, But buddy she's dead wrong
I'm headin' out to outer space, And it ain't gonna' take me long

Hey take me to your leader, I'm ready for the trip
I've got everything that I own, And I'm looking for the ship
Thought I'd make a brand new start, In a place I've never been
Take me to your leader, I'm outta this world again

Well I tried to get as far away, as old red eye would go
But on my way I ran into, an old friend that I know
(spoken)He said. (sung)" You just can't keep doinin' this, I'll have to run you in !"
(spoken)I just said. (sung)" Take me to your leader, I'm outta this world again"

Hey take me to your leader, I'm ready for the trip
I've got everything that I own, And I'm looking for the ship
Thought I'd make a brand new start, In a place I've never been
Take me to your leader, I'm outta this world again

go ahead...say it .........I can take it...........I hope.
 
I like country. I write country. You got a good start... hmmmm...
cant put my drunken finger on it, but you got somethin' goin on
 
The songs awesome!
Very well done.

And I like the end where he meets up with his friend (police officer?).
I like the conversational aspect.

The only thing that struck me as odd was towards the end when you said "I'm heading out to outer space".

The two "out"s stuck out to me. (pun intended)
 
demensia said:
The only thing that struck me as odd was towards the end when you said "I'm heading out to outer space".

The two "out"s stuck out to me. (pun intended)
Click to expand...
It's a pretty good concept--an alien country song, so to speak. I like the idea--kind of different. (Who needs a train or a truck when you're looking for a space ship!) Sounds like a lively, fun sort of song.

I agree with demensia about the "out to outer space" thing--perhaps: "I'm heading off to outer space"? Keeps the rhythm, anyway.
 
i liked it.

i always try to guess where the story is going while i read it.
i thought you were going to think you found the space ship when you see flashing lights,
but it turned out to be the police.
and the moral of the song is, you cant run from your problems.

but im a loser.

nicely done.
 
Hey thanks for all the good words !! I like the change that you suggested, "off to outerspace" fits and it's an easily sung improvement. Thanks again, guess this ones a keeper.

Walktausha.
 
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