Hello.....

  • Thread starter Thread starter mbuster
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mbuster

mbuster

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I've never posted in this forum before. I'm just getting the balls to finally write some lyrics and sing them myself. Is it bad manners to post songs here? I need some help from some songwriting fools. I feel like a numbnuts trying to write lyrics.
 
go ahead, man. Just protect yoursaelf, post the copyright info, too.

You never know where Led Zeppelin might be lurking...:D

Daf
 
Im listening now...I like your voice..you should mix 'em a db or two higher..I can't make out the words very well.....just enought to catch your metophore...Nice guit solo..Cool song!


Don
 
Lyrics can be a real personal thing. For every set of lyrics I write I throw thirty away, they just seem to damned corny to put out to an unsuspecting public.
Just like any other writing, stick to your strong points, stay with what you know, shy away from cliches, unless you are writing country or blues.
Remember that you will be your own worst critic and dont worry about what anyone else has to say about your lyrics, they all will interpret them differently anyway.
 
Hi mbuster, I listened to "Insecticide" from the link in the MP3 Clinic and was very impressed. Just thought it was funny how people told you to mix the vocals lower in that forum...

Your voice is very good, especially for a first-timer. You've got that gravelly, powerful hard rock singer's voice that suits the music perfectly. The lyrics are anunciated pretty well in the song but how about a posting so we can read along, too?

-Derrick
 
I have to agree with the previous post, please print the lyrics out.
I cant stream anything for shit on this worthless 56K modem so I never bother, and therefore never was able to hear your tune.
 
Thanks guys. I feel a little weird writing these down. It looks so goofy in print. Ahh well. This song is about a person who's basically kept down and made to feel worthless his entire life. he starts to see that maybe he's not the one with the problem, and finally realizes that he needs to get rid of those in his life that can't help him to succeed.

"Insecticide"

It's hard to face a new day when you're on the floor,
and you know if you move they'll smash you down.
You find the courage to say that you won't take anymore,
and they laugh and smash you down some more.

(chorus)
You are the one, unwanted in their eyes,
You are the son, turned cold and paralized,
You are the love, unclaimed and brushed aside,
You are the gun, you are insecticide.

And it's always been this way, since the day you were born
so you don't know what you've been missing , no
but then it hits you one day , you're a normal boy,
and you don't know what you've been living for.

(chorus)
but you are alive



And then you finally see what you thought was your family
is nothing but locusts and centipedes
and when they see that you know they'll try to hide
they know you've become insecticide

(chorus)
but you are alive
 
Good writing.

Do we have some personal issues?:D

Seriously, I bet you touch a lot of empathetic ears with that, and it's deep enough to work on a few levels.

I could never write a good angry song. Too literal-minded, maybe. This was very, very well done.

Daf
 
Wow, thanks. I'm learning that writing lyrics is just as hard as writing a good tune. Both frustrate me to no end. It's a good thing I'm not in a band, because nobody could stand me. Thanks for the input, guys.
 
I remember listening to this a while back in the mp3 forum. I usually don't post replies over there because I can't add much in the way of mix advice. I think it's a good solid tune with a "today" sound. Unlike my music which has that 70's or 80's sound, you can tell I'm an old hippie. You did a good job. Keep posting your tunes man, your stuff is just as good as a lot of the stuff I've heard on this board.


bd
 
they definately look workable to me-it all hinges on the music, of course-they don't stick out to me in a poetic sense, but i like the metaphor and think the flow is pretty decent with good music behind it.
 
I'm definitely no poet. But there's a link to the music above if you wanna hear it.
 
dragonworks said:
Lyrics can be a real personal thing. For every set of lyrics I write I throw thirty away, they just seem to damned corny to put out to an unsuspecting public.
Just like any other writing, stick to your strong points, stay with what you know, shy away from cliches, unless you are writing country or blues.
Remember that you will be your own worst critic and dont worry about what anyone else has to say about your lyrics, they all will interpret them differently anyway.
Click to expand...

I remember Frank Zappa saying about the same thing. He also said he kept the junk and would go through it on occasion and use bits and pieces in some of his newer material.

The unsuspecting public respects a shaking up now and then. Things get old and there are dips in the ocillescope of life that things like your damned corny stuff may work on another song.

I only say post this cuz I really like your material.
But who am I to preach.
I'm not worth a crap.
 
Hey BG,Hows it going man?Long time no read.LOL..Hows Wasington state this time of year?

Don
 
Hi Henri.
I don't know how washington is right now. I rarely leave the house, don't have a TV and never listen to the radio.
Wish I was back in Titusville though.

Hope all is well with you and yours.
Good to see ya. :)
 
Insecticide

Very good. Needs nothing from a lyrical/musical/emotional POV.

However, to increase marketability, consider:
- Increasing the tempo/drive
- Screaming more

And I assure you that I am as appalled with my comments as you are.

manifold
 
badgas said:
I remember Frank Zappa saying about the same thing. He also said he kept the junk and would go through it on occasion and use bits and pieces in some of his newer material.

The unsuspecting public respects a shaking up now and then. Things get old and there are dips in the ocillescope of life that things like your damned corny stuff may work on another song.

I only say post this cuz I really like your material.
But who am I to preach.
I'm not worth a crap.
Click to expand...

I wouldnt amount to a pimple on Frank Zappas ass.
 
Insecticide

Two Thumbs Up!!!

Great Voice - cool lyrics.

I was impressed.
 
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