New Honey Hunters - 18, Emilie

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Armistice

Armistice

Son of Yoda
Long time no chat... :-)

I promise I'll be back tomorrow to do some listening :oops:... just on my way out and thought "Why don't I post it on HR?" If you don't know who I am, I've been here a verrrrrry long time but tend to visit only occasionally these days.

So I decided there will be a 4th Honey Hunters album - because what the hell else should I do with my life - and this is the first track I've completed for it.

It's recorded initially on acoustic guitars using a selective capo, so without such a device, you couldn't actually play it - opens up interesting new melodic chord possibilities. Layered over the top is the usual Honey Hunters guitars, bass, drums, keys, vocals.

What it's about is a story I saw in a newspaper the other day, about how this young girl, Emilie, who was shot dead at Sandy Hook, would have been 18 now if that hadn't happened to her, and I thought that might make an interesting song. It's not a pro or anti gun protest song and I'm not American, so not trying to start a gun rights discussion here with my song.(y) And I'm only divulging the lyrical theme else it seem odd and, let's be honest, creepy, that an old guy is singing about an 18 year old girl, because the lyrics are obscure enough that you're not going to necessarily extract the full meaning unless I tell you.

Any feedback appreciated.
 

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Armistice said:
let's be honest, creepy, that an old guy is singing about an 18 year old girl
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Ever heard of Steely Dan? or come to think of it, rock music? ;)

More than glad to put politics aside and give a thorough listen, but that won't be tonight. Will try to get to it soon though!
 
Serendipity Records said:
Ever heard of Steely Dan? or come to think of it, rock music? ;)

More than glad to put politics aside and give a thorough listen, but that won't be tonight. Will try to get to it soon though!
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Oh yeah, Donald Fagen's recurring motif, no doubt... 😄
 
Armistice said:
Long time no chat... :-)

I promise I'll be back tomorrow to do some listening :oops:... just on my way out and thought "Why don't I post it on HR?" If you don't know who I am, I've been here a verrrrrry long time but tend to visit only occasionally these days.

So I decided there will be a 4th Honey Hunters album - because what the hell else should I do with my life - and this is the first track I've completed for it.

It's recorded initially on acoustic guitars using a selective capo, so without such a device, you couldn't actually play it - opens up interesting new melodic chord possibilities. Layered over the top is the usual Honey Hunters guitars, bass, drums, keys, vocals.

What it's about is a story I saw in a newspaper the other day, about how this young girl, Emilie, who was shot dead at Sandy Hook, would have been 18 now if that hadn't happened to her, and I thought that might make an interesting song. It's not a pro or anti gun protest song and I'm not American, so not trying to start a gun rights discussion here with my song.(y) And I'm only divulging the lyrical theme else it seem odd and, let's be honest, creepy, that an old guy is singing about an 18 year old girl, because the lyrics are obscure enough that you're not going to necessarily extract the full meaning unless I tell you.

Any feedback appreciated.

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I totally get the story line - The only thing I think should be adjusted is the Vocals need to brought forward and turned up a bit - the other thing is it’s a song about a specific person - which if you don’t know the story will never make sense - so one can read whatever they want into the thing.
 
Armistice said:
Long time no chat... :-)

I promise I'll be back tomorrow to do some listening :oops:... just on my way out and thought "Why don't I post it on HR?" If you don't know who I am, I've been here a verrrrrry long time but tend to visit only occasionally these days.

So I decided there will be a 4th Honey Hunters album - because what the hell else should I do with my life - and this is the first track I've completed for it.

It's recorded initially on acoustic guitars using a selective capo, so without such a device, you couldn't actually play it - opens up interesting new melodic chord possibilities. Layered over the top is the usual Honey Hunters guitars, bass, drums, keys, vocals.

What it's about is a story I saw in a newspaper the other day, about how this young girl, Emilie, who was shot dead at Sandy Hook, would have been 18 now if that hadn't happened to her, and I thought that might make an interesting song. It's not a pro or anti gun protest song and I'm not American, so not trying to start a gun rights discussion here with my song.(y) And I'm only divulging the lyrical theme else it seem odd and, let's be honest, creepy, that an old guy is singing about an 18 year old girl, because the lyrics are obscure enough that you're not going to necessarily extract the full meaning unless I tell you.

Any feedback appreciated.

View attachment 147398
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OK listening now, successful vibe/mood composition-wise! Overall slightly muddy and also could use a bit more top end, and as @Papanate said, vox need to pop out a bit more. IMO ;)
 
That is excellent. Nice ringing solo guitar at the start, then a few melancholy overdubs mixed in well. The "And I knowwww..." hook is very memorable. Apart from the backing vocals, it sounds like one vocal for most of the time and your voice is good enough to do that. I have to overdub like crazy. The only suggestion I would add is to lose some of the extra words that sometimes make some of the verse lines hard to scan, and squash into the available space. Keep the meaning but lose the filler words. Only here and there. Here's some suggestions:

"Read about you in the newspaper the other day, Emily, it's been a long, long time since then. I remember hearing your name at the time, I remember the place not the when."

Read your name the other day,
Been a long time since then.
Remember hearing your name at the time,
Remember the place not the when.

"It was in America, it's always in America. They said this must never happen again. They said we can fix this if we really wanna fix this. We just need our strength and a pen."

"It was America, always America.
Must never happen again.
They said we can fix this if we try
We just need strength and a pen."

The chorus works perfectly. Anyway. just a suggestion to tighten up a great song. Got a Grant Lee Buffalo vibe...
 
Papanate said:
I totally get the story line - The only thing I think should be adjusted is the Vocals need to brought forward and turned up a bit - the other thing is it’s a song about a specific person - which if you don’t know the story will never make sense - so one can read whatever they want into the thing.
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Yeah, I'd thought of that, and like I said, I'm not hugely one for explaining lyrics, but in these times one has to be a bit careful lest someone get the wrong idea.

It's been over a year since I actually completed a tune, so I'm a bit everywhere on the levels of various things. I'll do some AB-ing with older tunes and see what that tells me about vocal levels. Them and bass are what always get me. Thanks for the listen. (y)
 
Serendipity Records said:
OK listening now, successful vibe/mood composition-wise! Overall slightly muddy and also could use a bit more top end, and as @Papanate said, vox need to pop out a bit more. IMO ;)
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Cheers Mr Serendipity. As I said above, I'll have a listen to some older stuff and make some adjustment. Thanks for the ears.(y)
 
Thekesslerboy said:
That is excellent. Nice ringing solo guitar at the start, then a few melancholy overdubs mixed in well. The "And I knowwww..." hook is very memorable. Apart from the backing vocals, it sounds like one vocal for most of the time and your voice is good enough to do that. I have to overdub like crazy. The only suggestion I would add is to lose some of the extra words that sometimes make some of the verse lines hard to scan, and squash into the available space. Keep the meaning but lose the filler words. Only here and there. Here's some suggestions:

"Read about you in the newspaper the other day, Emily, it's been a long, long time since then. I remember hearing your name at the time, I remember the place not the when."

Read your name the other day,
Been a long time since then.
Remember hearing your name at the time,
Remember the place not the when.

"It was in America, it's always in America. They said this must never happen again. They said we can fix this if we really wanna fix this. We just need our strength and a pen."

"It was America, always America.
Must never happen again.
They said we can fix this if we try
We just need strength and a pen."

The chorus works perfectly. Anyway. just a suggestion to tighten up a great song. Got a Grant Lee Buffalo vibe...
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Thanks for listening. I'm sort of heading down a rambling stream of consciousness path with lyrics in at least one of the other sets I'm working on for the project, so I'm aware there are a lot of words there but it's sort of going to fit in with other stuff and is a point of difference to my more "usual" economical lyrical style, so I'll keep them as they are, but thanks for your thoughts. Cheers (y)
 
Guitars sound great.

Bass is at a good level.

Vocal sounds good, but parts get lost behind the guitars.

Drums sound good.

And no real complaints besides the occasionally buried vocals.
 
TripleM said:
Guitars sound great.

Bass is at a good level.

Vocal sounds good, but parts get lost behind the guitars.

Drums sound good.

And no real complaints besides the occasionally buried vocals.
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Thanks Trip. I've been onto it this morning and done various things to clear the vocals up a bit... won't post another version at this stage though.

Thanks for listening.
 
Great tune. Acoustic tone/recording is superb. Only thing that jumped out to me is that the vocals really jump out at parts (uneven volume). Especially the “WOULD have been” and “SHOULD have been” lines. I think more compression on the vocals could really even things out. I think it’s the missing link in an otherwise professional sounding recording! Nice work!
 
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