Hello all, first song since I gave up on music

S

sheppard_lee

New member
More accurately, I gave up playing for a living to chase a different dream a few years back. I just got tired of sitting in a van with smelly, tired, grumpy people. I get pretty homesick at the drop of a hat. So instead, I got the bright idea of my current profession, which, in turn, led me even farther away from home. I wrote this on a desolate black volcanic beach in the West Indies near the coast of South America surrounded by nothing but a mountainous rainforest.

At an extremely young age, when one would presume that philosophical conversation would soar over my head, my late grandfather would constantly tell stories of the lives of successful, driven people. Lawyers, CEOs, and of course astronauts. He'd talk of the great achievements and wonders you could see that only a handful of humans have witnessed. And then he would talk of the sacrifice, the loneliness, the effects of space on your body. He was a mastermind of persuasion and storytelling, and at the end of the conversation I would find myself in a serious dilemma, weighing the pros and cons of chasing success before I was 10. I didn't know it at the time but he was planting seeds in my head about sacrifice and determination. I had completely forgotten these conversations and, for the first time in 20 years it returned to me. I think this sudden flashback came to me because I looked around and felt as if I was living on a foreign planet. It was as if he was sitting beside me, still coaching me up about the rewards of great sacrifice. I couldn't help but laugh. I wrote this down over the next three minutes and sloppily recorded it soon after. I hope you guys enjoy it. this was all a couple years ago but I haven't shared it. Since HR.com was such a huge help to me when I started recording, I figured it would only be appropriate to post this. To all the people who helped me out on this forum, thanks a million!




https://soundcloud.com/sheppard-lee/stories-of-space


Stories of space
And the planets you'd chase
And I was so young
Oh would you miss the world?
Gravity unfurled
My mind was running for the sake of loving

Who did you think would walk out of the tunnel
Wave goodbye and step into the shuttle
Planted like trees in the direction of the breeze

Oh tell me what you'd chase
While you run in place
And I was so young
How would you say goodbye?
Oh I could never try
The engines running
It's all or nothing

Repeat chorus
 
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Welcome to the Clinic--or welcome back! I like the song. Good singing and playing. For me the contrast between the wet vocals and dry guitar was odd, I'd cut some of the reverb on the vocals, personally. Panning guitar center and vocal left-of-center was an interesting choice, but I think it works. The guitar was a bit boomy and dark, no big deal. The boominess wasn't getting in the way of anything in such a spare arrangement.
 
Much appreciated Robus! Yeah the reverb is a little heavy. Went for a space-like echo with vocals and didn't know what to do with the gtr. Now that Becks new album came out and I heard a similar setup, it kinda grew on me.
 
As Robus said.....the guitar was sort of boomy / thumpy.....thudy. Sorry for the vague description there. Not listening via my DAW so can't tell you the actual frequencies that are involved but I did find the constant unrelenting thump annoying. It might be your strumming style but I think it's just an EQ fix really. As for the vocal and harmony FX.......I liked it.
 
That was awesome, Shepherd. Listened to it 3 or 4 times already. I'm a big Beck fan and this reminds me of something like his "going nowhere fast" vocal with the drenched reverb. I like how the guitar is real woody sounding and boomy. It sounds like a bass and acoustic style folk/blues all in one, and I think if you thinned it out you'd sound too modern and pop.

The only part that was meh to me was the:

"Who did you think would walk out of the tunnel
Wave goodbye and step into the shuttle"

I thought that chord progression and melody were kinda cliche.

Your voice sounds a like a better version of Wayne Coyne (Flaming Lips) combined with Jackson Browne. It's really good.

I followed you on SC I hope you do more music.
 
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The vocal is well-sung and well-recorded. I felt that the main acoustic was lacking just a little sparkle. The thuddiness that other people have mentioned just stands in for the missing drums, IMO. With a bit more EQ "sparkle" you'd be filling in for cymbals and snare as well. The small "doodles" from other instruments and the harmonies contributed some nice colour and interest along the way. :)

It's one of the better things I've heard posted recently. :)
 
I like this mucho! Love the hit at the very end, though I'm not sure if the sound fx are necessary, I don't think I dislike them either.

I think the guitar is EQ'd well if this were a total live track, but in this context I think it would fit like others said to be a little more sparkly and a little less bassy. Still works though. Really like the subtle piano.

Is the planted like trees line talking about people watching from the ground?
 
I thought this was good. Nice singing voice.

It wasn't a great guitar sound, it was alittle boxy. But I thought it fit nicely in this mix. The guitar stabs were a little abrupt and a little distracting for a mellow tune like this. Don't know if that's a compressor working, or if it's just the way it was played.
 
Much appreciated everyone! It's good to be back.
I'm an amateur at best when it comes to getting a good acoustic sound, but it's mainly my playing style that's behind the boomy-esque sound that everyone's on the fence about. If I was to go into the local studio, the engineer wouldn't stand for it and would undoubtedly convince me to change my technique.

The boomy thud on beats 2 & 4 is a moderately heavy downward strum on what is already a boomy Martin guitar. It fills in for drums in a live setting somewhat. I'm a huge fan of Elliott Smith's recording style (blasphemy among perfectionists in the studio I imagine) so I almost aim for minor flaws as long as there's no clipping/distortion/etc. That said, if I can find the studio files on my old computer I might remix the acoustic to add a little high and take away the frequency that's causing an excessively loud thud. I imagine it'll still have the percussion-like effect without the intrusiveness.

If I only have the .wav mixdown, I can still find the low acoustic thud and take it out without affecting the other instruments/vocals, correct?

Thanks again!
 
Nola said:
That was awesome, Shepherd. Listened to it 3 or 4 times already. I'm a big Beck fan and this reminds me of something like his "going nowhere fast" vocal with the drenched reverb. I like how the guitar is real woody sounding and boomy. It sounds like a bass and acoustic style folk/blues all in one, and I think if you thinned it out you'd sound too modern and pop.

The only part that was meh to me was the:

"Who did you think would walk out of the tunnel
Wave goodbye and step into the shuttle"

I thought that chord progression and melody were kinda cliche.

Your voice sounds a like a better version of Wayne Coyne (Flaming Lips) combined with Jackson Browne. It's really good.

I followed you on SC I hope you do more music.
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Much appreciated. I like your stuff as well man, great acoustic sound and vocals. Love the Beck covers.
 
sheppard_lee said:
Much appreciated everyone! It's good to be back.
I'm an amateur at best when it comes to getting a good acoustic sound, but it's mainly my playing style that's behind the boomy-esque sound that everyone's on the fence about. If I was to go into the local studio, the engineer wouldn't stand for it and would undoubtedly convince me to change my technique.

The boomy thud on beats 2 & 4 is a moderately heavy downward strum on what is already a boomy Martin guitar. It fills in for drums in a live setting somewhat. I'm a huge fan of Elliott Smith's recording style (blasphemy among perfectionists in the studio I imagine) so I almost aim for minor flaws as long as there's no clipping/distortion/etc. That said, if I can find the studio files on my old computer I might remix the acoustic to add a little high and take away the frequency that's causing an excessively loud thud. I imagine it'll still have the percussion-like effect without the intrusiveness.

If I only have the .wav mixdown, I can still find the low acoustic thud and take it out without affecting the other instruments/vocals, correct?

Thanks again!
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I'm one of the guys who didn't like the "thud" of your style.........but truth be told.......that's just my opinion and that's worth only 2 cents. Now that you've described more about what you were aiming for I understand it. And besides........if you like the finished product.......keep it the way it is man. As for trying to EQ part of the boomy thud guitar part on the two track mixdown........I would guess that won't be easy and could affect too many other elements of your song.
 
Mickster said:
I'm one of the guys who didn't like the "thud" of your style.........but truth be told.......that's just my opinion and that's worth only 2 cents. Now that you've described more about what you were aiming for I understand it. And besides........if you like the finished product.......keep it the way it is man. As for trying to EQ part of the boomy thud guitar part on the two track mixdown........I would guess that won't be easy and could affect too many other elements of your song.
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Thanks man, I'll leave it be until I find the project files.

To be completely honest, I truly enjoyed getting feedback from everyone on this. This is the first time I didn't write, record and mix a song in a forced, over-thought manner. It was a perfect snapshot of a crazy moment in my life and I can listen back to it reminisce instead of cringe at all the things I would do differently. Now that I'm not so emotionally attached to succeeding in the music business, it's fun to see what people think about it.

I'll end up keeping some aspect of the thud sound but, as some of you pointed out, it's overpowering and need to at least be brought down.


Nola, forgot I did a cover on YouTube, it's the only other track I have until I'm back home next month. Since you mentioned an interest in other songs, here's the link (WARNING: unless you're a Ben Harper fan, this song will bum you out... seriously, it will)

https://youtu.be/bkRqXrqXIJo

Might be marked as private, lemme know if it doesn't work.
 
I like the reverb on the vocals. Yes, it's a lot but it fits IMO. If it were me, I would adjust the guitar to fit the vocals, not the other way around.
 
sheppard_lee said:
Much appreciated. I like your stuff as well man, great acoustic sound and vocals. Love the Beck covers.
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thanks sheppard!
my friend was visiting yesterday, and she loved your song. we played it like six times. she said it reminded her of elliot smith, no joke. it's probably the recording. i love his recordings, too, probably more than his actual songs.
 
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sheppard_lee said:
https://youtu.be/bkRqXrqXIJo
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sheppard, it reminds me of Iron and Wine but with less finger picking. Do you know them?
It's pretty and nice. It's not as exciting as the other song and lags a little (imo it could get a 5-10bpm tempo increase and still retain the original mood and feel will adding some pep). The only other thing I'd say is the vocal is a little loud or dry. I'd either back the volume or add a little more reverb or a mix of the two.

maybe we can collaborate on something at some point, sheppard.
 
A beautiful intimate song. I really like it. Seems simple yet says a lot. I like the playing and the singing but do agree with a couple others that the guitar just seems a little lackluster. It may just need a touch of sparkle added into it. Maybe shelve the lows a touch too so the "thud" isn't as prominent as it is. Also, I noticed a little sibilance in the vocals at times. Regardless its very good, and the song writing is great too. Great job.
 
i thought it was really good. the story was great! sometimes it's not all about production and more about getting the sound to match the feeling of the song.
 
God this is so good. Don't bother mixing your own stuff, give it to a pro and just enjoy being an artist.
 
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