Electronic classical Hawaiian pop country rock

grn

Well-known member
I wrote this song and aside from a few percussive instruments I think I'm done recording it. I just need some ears on it to let me know if the vocals are balanced. I am pushing it as far as the bottom end is concerned, but it's where I want it to be. Any other thoughts would be very welcome. I'm so far into it I don't know if I can hear it objectively anymore. View attachment When He's Gone - April 17 2016_mixdown (2).mp3
 
I really like the song. It's got a great feel to it.

There are two things that maybe you could consider.

1 The percussion track is, to my ears, too 'episodic'. There's a kit that starts and stops, and some other stuff, and it sounds disjointed, and to my ears, disturbs the flow of the song.

2 "Rediscover that the one she loves is gone", is a neat line, but there are a lot of syllables in it, and I wonder whether there is another way of saying this that doesn't sound so squished into the rhythm.

But . . . I really enjoyed the song!!
 
i really like the rhythm and vocal.
the drums do seem to cut short on ringing out...is there a gate or something on them? i'd remove that and let them breath/sustain more.

the bass is too boomy cut at like 125 and put a low pass on it. i'd scoop out mids on the bass for this type of song, too. i think a punchy/scooped bass sound like bob marley's "stir it up" would work great on this.

this is pretty awesome, man.
 
Wow, sounds great to me. The bass is maybe a bit boomy on my headphones. Great job getting that odd mix of genres to work lol
 
1 The percussion track is, to my ears, too 'episodic'. There's a kit that starts and stops, and some other stuff, and it sounds disjointed, and to my ears, disturbs the flow of the song.

2 "Rediscover that the one she loves is gone", is a neat line, but there are a lot of syllables in it, and I wonder whether there is another way of saying this that doesn't sound so squished into the rhythm.

Drums are definitely supposed to sound stilted to let the anticipation build for the drums to come back in - very much influenced by hip hop... it should feel off, like you're walking and then you're abruptly stopped for a second before you can walk again. I think I like your line better "Rediscover that the one she loves is gone" than my "Rediscover that she loves him when he's gone," but unfortunately I can't re-record the girl's vocal. I like it though because of the hip hop-influenced flow.

the drums do seem to cut short on ringing out...is there a gate or something on them? i'd remove that and let them breath/sustain more.

the bass is too boomy cut at like 125 and put a low pass on it. i'd scoop out mids on the bass for this type of song, too. i think a punchy/scooped bass sound like bob marley's "stir it up" would work great on this.

No gate on the drums, heavy verb and even the Phil Collins effect on the snare for a long sustain. I think I'm going to record a tambourine and shaker with some heavy verb on top of it so hopefully it will feel more cohesive.

I modeled the bass after Paul McCartney's on "Dear Prudence" with a touch more growl, but I love the bass on "Stir It Up". I think the bass is a bit too boomy - I'll try cutting around 125... but a low pass? Do you mean a high pass to cut out more low end?

Wow, sounds great to me. The bass is maybe a bit boomy on my headphones. Great job getting that odd mix of genres to work lol

I think I will have to do something about the bass, I just wonder if I should leave it for mastering because on most speakers I've listened to it on I really love it, but on those smaller, tinny speakers it's not as... flat as it should be.
 
I modeled the bass after Paul McCartney's on "Dear Prudence" with a touch more growl, but I love the bass on "Stir It Up". I think the bass is a bit too boomy - I'll try cutting around 125... but a low pass? Do you mean a high pass to cut out more low end?

Sorry, I meant a high pass/low cut.

I'd fix the bass during mixing rather than mastering. Seems like it should be a pretty easy fix. The master engineer would have to cut the lows for everything, so might as well fix it now when it's just bass.
 
I like the song too. Love the feel. Love the vocals.

Agree about the bass. It's really rumbly. The first thing I'd try is to just roll off the low end. And I'd roll off more than typical for a a bass. Like up to 120hz maybe. To me, it's a lite song, and a lite bass would suit it well.
 
I think the "episodic" drums are good, actually. I'm not a huge fan of the high... tamborine? sound, but it does keep things tied together; and the rest of the drums have a coherent progression of when they come in. The snare might be a tad quiet tho.

+1 on the bass being boomy.

Vocals sound pretty good to me. Cram as many words as you want in there!
 
Wow. This was really different. I think I really liked it, but I'm not 100% sure what I just heard (and I work almost exclusively in the electronic classical hawaiian pop country rock genre).

Vocals are really good and were processed nicely. I like the drums myself. I too found the high tambourine part to be a little bit much, but I get why it's there. Pedal steel was a cool surprise...man, there's a lot to like here, and plenty of surprises.

I think the bass tone you chose would work great in something more slow and plodding, but the bass part here moves just enough that I think a more articulate and less boomy sound would be better? The bass sound was the only thing that really stood out to me as being off in some way.

Can't say enough about the vocal delivery though and the overall creativity on display here. Nice work.
 
I think I really liked it, but I'm not 100% sure what I just heard

Probably the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.

Alright I rolled off the bottom end on the bass until I couldn't take it, so there's still a substantial amount of bottom end (probably more than was recommended, but I love it). I lowered the pitch, volume and changed the attack on the tambourine. I tried shaker on the refrain's, but it felt like it wasn't adding to the song so I took it back out. I think I might be done/giving up and moving on to the next track, but please let me know if anything sticks out or if I changed too much.

Thank you all for your input, it's really helping me hear things I wouldn't otherwise.

View attachment When He's Gone - April 21 2016_mixdown.mp3
 
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