December's challenge ~ work in progress

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gecko zzed

gecko zzed

Grumpy Mod
I find these challenges stimulating and fun, so I enjoy participating.

For this challenge I thought that I might respond to it in this thread, creating the lyrics here and describing the process as it happens. I figure it might be neat to have a historical record that I could go over at some point in the future to see how I got from nothing to something. With any previous writing, I've not kept early drafts, and I've never considered what's happening to my thought processes as I go along. This exercise could be illuminating, embarrassing or a complete waste of time.

Please remember upfiddler's injunction: no comments on content or process until the deadline.

Here goes nothing:

Part 1
Upfiddler declared the challenge open. I digested the brief, which I liked, and the first thought that sprang to my mind was the first car I owned, A black Morris Minor. I had some fun in that car, though it already was past its prime.

I pondered for a while about what type of song I might attempt: humorous, whimsical, nostalgic . . . and whether it would be fast or slow or whatever. I picked up my guitar and messed around with some chords, but found no inspiration there. Dang!

However, I reminded myself of a song I had written earlier that had a chorus based on scents, and that started a train of thought which gave me a first line:

"Leather, rubber, oil and dust"

These were smells intimately tied to the Morris (though maybe I made up the bit about 'leather'. I don't think the Morris had leather seats).

After a while (and before I thought of throwing every thought up here), I arrived at a second line:

"Machine Chanel beneath the rust"

This line reinforces the idea of scents, but introduces a new factor with 'rust' (which I used as a rhyme for dust, and because I struggle with rhymes, wanted to keep).

So now the car is rusty. This reminded me of an old truck abandoned in a paddock near where I live, and that psuhed me towards two more lines:

"A carcass rusting in the grass,
Silent eyes reflect the past"

I see where the song is pushing me: I'm in the present, the car is in the past, and has been abandoned somewhere. I like 'carcass', because it has 'car' in it. The 'silent eyes' are headlights. But I wanted to recall the good times and the amazing feeling of independence and grown-uppedness of having my own transportation, and not just dwell on a wreck, so I had to dive into the past myself for a while. I came up with these threee lines quickly:

"In satin black I drove the streets
Master of this four-wheeled beast
Proud I sat, high in seat"

I am now stuck for a fourth line. So I'll sit on that for a while. I have a feeling it is going to be a slowish song.

I now have a firmer idea, though, of where I want to go. My current (as I type) thinking is to alternate present and past. Verses 1 and 3 will describe the car as it could very well be now, while verses 2 & 4 will focus on the enjoyment I had at the time.

I have no ideas for bridge or chorus yet, but I've got a couple of lines for verse 3:

"Abandoned in a lonely field,
overgrown with tangled weed"

I'm thinking that maybe I could talk about it being used by animals or something.

At this stage, all the forgoing is temporary, so I expect to make changes as I go along. But that's it for the moment. When I get a bit further, I'll add it as a response to this.
 
In following my own rule....

....I will refuse to comment on this material. However, having an 'inside track' to our individual processes that we use to write music should be helpful to each of us. I am glad you are posting in this manner and I will follow suit in another thread as my own entry is given birth and, hopefully, life.:rolleyes: I would encourage others to do the same. May we all grow into the songwriters that we wish to be.
 
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hello...

1234567890 (there, THATS 10 characters, hee hee)
 
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take care, you are skirting perilously close to the edge of the 'no comments on process or content rule'!

If others follow this 'open song development' pattern, I think it will provide some fascinating insights on how people's minds work.
 
December's challenge ~ WIP ~ Part 2

Shortly after posting Part1 and signing off, another two lines snuck unseen into my head, and I think I now have the start of a chorus:

"You were my friend
But time got in the way"

Some further personal observations.

1 The personification of the car as a 'you' is suggesting a sub-theme for the song. I expect that the relationship between me and the car will become a metaphor for a relationship between me and another person . . . we were friends once, we lost contact, and I've neglected that person. I'll keep this in mind for further lyrics.

2 I've noticed that the lyrics are suggesting a 3/4 rhythm, which I hadn't particularly wanted, but I'll go with it for the time being. When it comes time to find some music, I might experiment a bit: maybe superimpose a 3/4 melody over a 4/4 rythm, or maybe lose the last beat of every fourth bar, so that it becomes like an 11/3.

3 I've also noticed that I am very explicitly writing for this forum, and I'll keep it that way, and not worry too much about a wider audience. That means I am not trying to create a catchy pop song or appeal to other listeners. The challenge is the motivation, and whether the songs stands in its own right after the challenge is not important yet.
 
December's challenge ~ WIP ~ Part 3

I am reasonably happy, because I found a word for verse 4. I like the idea of using 'chariot", because it conjures up for me images of reckless careening as well as of this kind of cocoon that partly shelters you from the outside world.

So, for verse 4, at which I am back in the past with my car, I've got:

"In chariot . . . something something something"

Maybe

"In chariot I drove the roads", or
"In chariot I drove for miles", or
"In chariot I drove the map"

The choice depends on what I can find to rhyme. I tend to shy away from using 'roads', because the most common rhyme is 'loads', and that is too boring.

Maybe:
"In chariot I crossed the map,
The miles slipped by beneath my lap"

It's a bit awkward, but it will do for the moment.

At this stage I have:

v1
Leather, rubber, oil and dust
Machine Chanel beneath the rust
A carcass rusting in the grass
A memory of distant past

V2
In satin black I drove the streets
Master of this four-wheeled beast
Proud I sat, high in seat
???

Chorus
You were my friend
But time got in the way
??
??

V3
Abandoned in a lonely field,
overgrown with tangled weed
??
??

V4
In chariot I crossed the map,
The miles slipped by beneath my lap
??
??

I've got to find five lines to finish four verses, which I reckon would just about do. I've two lines needed for the chorus. I don't know about a bridge yet. If there was a bridge, it would be a kind of summary.

Now I await the next spurt of inspiration.
 
December's challenge ~ WIP ~ Part 4

On my morning walk, I thought about what to do with the chorus. My feet were providing the beat, so I tried out a number of lines.

I had:
"You were my friend
but time got in the way"

I came up with
"On the outskirts of the city"

I was okay with this, but not fully satisfied with 'of the city'. It is almost predictable, and too kind of empty.

But I do like:
"On the outskirts of importance", because it satisfies the dual themes emerging in the song.

I followed this with:
"The threads began to fray", which I like because of its image of a relationship unravelling, but it's not a very good motoring image. Neverthless, I'll keep it for the moment, because quite quickly I found these to follow it:

"Somewhere the spark went missing
Somewhere the lights grew dim
Though I recall the surge before
Somewhere I just gave in"

This means I now have a working chorus of:

You were a friend to me
but time got in the way
On the outskirts of importance
The threads began to fray
Somewhere the spark went missing
Somewhere the lights grew dim
Though I recall the surge before
Somewhere I just gave in

This, incidentally, has given me a working title for the song: "Somewhere". I'll have to think further on this, because I've already written a song called 'Somewhere', though it is quite different (see below).

I am now thinking that my verse are too short, and I'll most likely have to double them. Sigh . . . instead of just five lines, I now have to look for 21.

Here are the lyrics for my other song called 'Somewhere':

Somewhere

v1
Dessicated leaves
Skeletons of trees
Gaunt grey finger mist
Somewhere
Silent footsteps lost
Bark as grey as ghost
Vines clinging to their hosts
Somewhere

ch
I stood beside a mirrored pool
Gaze into dark water deep
Look into a strange inverted world
Just my eyes stare back at me

v2
A pallid sun hangs low
Wet light drizzles slow
Still autumn air sits cold
Somewhere
Shadows cast their pall
Along the moss damp ground
Musty memories recalled
Somewhere

Br
Come behind me, tap my shoulder
Bring me to my feet
I've been waiting, but not expecting
You to be there

v3
Movement in the trees
Leatherwood scent air
A hint of you somewhere
Somewhere
Breath upon my back
Whisper at my ear
Just a falling leaf
Somewhere
 
December's challenge ~ WIP ~ Part 5

I had a flurry of creativity while the computer was busy, and managed to fill in some blank spaces.

I now have the basic framework of the song worked out:

Somewhere

Leather, rubber, oil and dust
Machine Chanel beneath the rust
A carcass rusting in the grass
Silent eyes reflect the past

In satin black I drove the streets
Master of this four-wheeled steed
Proud I sat, so high in seat
A windscreen world in front of me

You were a friend to me
But time got in the way
On the outskirts of importance
The threads began to fray
Somewhere the spark went missing
Somewhere the lights grew dim
Though I recall the surge before
Somewhere I just gave in.

Abandoned in a lonely field
Overgrown with tangled weed
A metal hulk that's now a home
To other creatures more in need

In chariot I crossed the map
The miles slipped by beneath my lap
I drove for love, I drove too far
Inside the shelter of my car

You were a friend to me
But time got in the way
On the outskirts of importance
The threads began to fray
Somewhere the spark went missing
Somewhere the lights grew dim
Though I recall the surge before
Somewhere I just gave in.

The bits in bold are those I'm not presently happy with.
"Rusting", because I used "rust" a little bit earlier.
"Threads began to fray", because it doesn't have much to do with motoring.
"Surge", because I'm sure there's a better word.
"Lap", because I really wanted a single word that means "beneath my feet, beneath the car".
"Of my car", because it sounds a bit . . . babyish?

I've been experimenting with the music, and when I settle on how I'm going to transform these lyrics into a melody, I expect there will be further changes.

There are many musical options open to me, but none has hit me over the head and said 'pick me' yet. My general feeling is that it's going to be primarily acoustic. Well, time will tell.

I had hoped that I would do the exercise of songwriting while sitting here, typing away, so that I could detail more of the thought processes. As it happened, when I was typing, I had no thoughts. It was only when I left the computer and did something else that the ideas came. That in itself is kind of interesting.

However, I am relieved that I've got a set of words that I can use. Quite often I will embark on a project and lose interest or inspiration halfway through. I got through this one!
 
er's challenge ~ WIP ~ Part 6

I've started on the music, and put together a version of the song as it currently exists.

That has led to some discoveries.

During the writing of the lyrics, I didn't pay too much attention to the form of the rhymes, so some verses have a rhyming structre that's A A B B, while others have A B A B. As it happens, when singing, my mind recoils at A A B B (though I don't know why).

Fortuitously, V1 and V2 finish with words that rhyme close enough that they can be treated as AABB or ABAB, and they are okay. V4 has been problemtic from the start, and it is a definite AABB, so it has to change. That is good, because now I get another go and fix the original problems.

Oh well, back to the drawing board.
 
December's challenge ~ part 7

v4 is:
In chariot I crossed the map
The miles slipped by beneath my lap
I drove for love, I drove too far
Inside the shelter of my car

I am now thinking:

In chariot I crossed the map,
The miles slipped by beneath my feet
I drove for love, I drove too far,
The boundaries disappeared.

It's still not fully satisfying, but at least I've got a rough line up with 'feet' and 'disappeared'.

'The boundaries disappeared' is a bit obscure. Though it does relate to travelling and having freedom to move, it doesn't lgocially follow on from the line before.

I had in mind to do something adventurous with the music, but that has eluded me. I've got something fairly conventional now . . . a starting chord sequence that I (and no doubt many others) have used frequently before. Likewise I've used the chords in the chorus before, though not with that beginning.
 
December's challenge ~ part 8 ~ I'm done

Okay . . . after having stewed on this one for a while, I think I've done as much as my brain will let me. ANy changes will need future inspiration, or suggestions from others.

I've done a quick recording of it, so at least I'm ready for January's challenge.

These are the words that I've settled on:

Somewhere

Leather, rubber, oil and dust
Machine Chanel beneath the rust
A carcass rusting in the grass
Silent eyes reflect the past

In satin black I drove the streets
Master of this four-wheeled steed
Proud I sat, so high in seat
A windscreen world in front of me

You were a friend to me
But time got in the way
On the outskirts of importance
The threads began to fray
Somewhere the spark went missing
Somewhere the lights grew dim
Though I recall the surge before
Somewhere I just gave in.

Abandoned in a lonely field
Overgrown with tangled weed
A metal hulk that's now a home
To other creatures more in need

In chariot I crossed the map
The miles slipped by beneath my feet
I drove for love, I drove too far
The boundaries disappeared

You were a friend to me
But time got in the way
On the outskirts of importance
The threads began to fray
Somewhere the spark went missing
Somewhere the lights grew dim
Though I recall the surge before
Somewhere I just gave in.
 
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