Butterfly (revisited)

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60's guy

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I posted Butterfly a while back (not sure when). It's a cover of a Donavan Frankenretter tune. I've added a couple of piano tracks since then and I still plan to add at least two more guitar parts, percussion, and a mandolin part even though a mando was never used on the original recording by DF.

When I listen to this myself....I think my vocal is too harsh in the upper registers.

Feedback appreciated. :)

Butterfly
 
The only thing I don't like about it are the seagulls.
 
Donavan Frankenretter is also a world class surfer who travels throughout the world in search of the best waves and surf and it came as no surprise that that his original tune included the sounds of seagulls, albeit far in the background. I used sounds of seagulls a bit more up front and present than DF did on his tracks for better or for worse. ;)

Thanks for listening, SC!
 
I've never heard the song before. I was just listening for a reference in the song.. Lot's of insects, not a lot of birds. I guess butterflies don't sound quite as musical.

Unless maybe you strapped a bucket full of them on each foot. Then you could have a butterfly hoedown.

I digress.

I think the vocals are fine. Nice work. Where can I hear you play some mando?
 
Budgie used seagulls on Parents and budgies on Black Velvet Stallion - odd!
I like you JJCalesque vox and the playing but I'm not fan frankenretter - his songs seem too derivative.
There are a few clicks and clacks as well as close mic noises in there somewhere I think.
Nicely done recording thus far - the additions seem very way back - in fact I couldn't hear 'em.
 
I like it so far... I don't find anything harsh about your vocals at all. Maybe it's because I am listening on Bose Companion II computer speakers and not a good set of monitors, I don't know. But I don't find the harshness.
 
Just listened to it and here are some thoughts:

I don't know the original so I don't have any "context" but I like the way you used the seagulls for effect. They set the stage for me. As far as the "harsh" quality in the vocals--I think I hear what you're hearing, except it doesn't sound harsh to me. There's an edginess, because the vocal sounds very close and intimate--but that's perfect for this song. Sometimes I think that detailed, up-front kind of vocal take can sound startling when it's us--'cause we hear EVERYTHING we don't like about our own voice; but to others (assuming it's halfway decent--and you don't have to worry about that) it just sounds very present--in a good way.
 
Guitars sound quite nice on there, the bass is low and weak-it could use compression and a few dB's of gain. Your vocals might be a bit strained but they fit the song well-I'm listening on headphones so I might be imagining some of this....
 
Thanks Tony and everyone else.

I struggle with expectations of myself.
 
Mandolin version is very nice, though the mandolin could be a bit more present. I like the voice and the acoustics and the way it's recorded. Really nice, well done ;)

Cheers
Joe
 
I think this is a huge improvement over the first mix! The instrumentation is much brighter and the vocals seem to have been softened a bit somehow. You pulled back the levels on the vox quite a bit, yes? Maybe a bit too much?
 
heatmiser said:
I think this is a huge improvement over the first mix! The instrumentation is much brighter and the vocals seem to have been softened a bit somehow. You pulled back the levels on the vox quite a bit, yes? Maybe a bit too much?
Click to expand...

Although the vocals are perfectly audible, I keep thinking too they could come up in the first section. The guitars seem to be overpowering them a bit.

The second part after the tacet - they seem to be at a much better level.

The mando is also a bit soft for me. I was hoping for it to pop a bit...

The sonic quality of the vocals and guitars is very good as is the performance.

Very very nice piece.....

:cool::D:cool::D
 
I got to say I love the seagulls too..though they seem a bit odd in a song about a butterfly.:D

Your voice sounds just fine...not harsh at all. Perfect for the song!

I agree with ido about the vocals in the first part.

The mandolin track adds a textured layer to the song, giving it more warmth.
 
60's guy said:
Thanks Tony and everyone else.

I struggle with expectations of myself.
Click to expand...

Well, mostly you're a nerd. :)

Seagulls need to fade in less steeply...and have a little more upper midrange to match the EQ curve of the song...

Got a little Randy Newman going on vocally here... VERY charming arrangement and performance...

Maybe a teeny bit of percussion to pick up the actual downbeats in the verses, the pickup emphasis is clean, but can get confusing to the casual ear...

Cheers,
Phil
 
Llarion said:
Well, mostly you're a nerd. :)

Seagulls need to fade in less steeply...and have a little more upper midrange to match the EQ curve of the song...

Got a little Randy Newman going on vocally here... VERY charming arrangement and performance...

Maybe a teeny bit of percussion to pick up the actual downbeats in the verses, the pickup emphasis is clean, but can get confusing to the casual ear...

Cheers,
Phil
Click to expand...
Nerd? :D

Great to see you again, Phil! ;)

I added a simpleton touch of Dobro to Butterfly

I'm not done with it just yet. :)
 
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