I'm not missing a thing. We actually agree on things- I listened to that "Roscoe" track too. I agree with everything you said about it:
None of the things you mentioned have to do with gear, they have to do with humans. It's not a great mix, the vocals aren't very tight, nor is the whole thing particularly tight, drums sound lifeless,. In plain English: It ain't da gear. They could have used SSL dual-cyclonic flux capacitors with Kung-Fu grip, they would still have the same problems. It's not because they didn't have zircon-encrusted monitors to hear the mix: someone with serious skill and talent could have got a better mix in a car with a Delco radio. That's not a criticism of the band or the song, they are fine. It's just reality: there was still plenty of stuff they could have done with the gear at their disposal. Ummm, wouldn't you agree that's the point of this thread?????
Sorry but I think you're missing the point, my friend. Lemme give you all you need to know, I'll even put the main point in bold:
"Pro" anything happens when people with pro-level skills do something. That's it, that's the whole shebang. If for some other reason you think differently, then the advertisers and their glossy ads are doing their job.

Stick Yo-Yo Ma and Mutt Lange on a desert island with no stuff and they will still create pro music. Yo-Yo will make a cello out of Bamboo and Mutt will make a recorder out of coconut shells.

Yo-Yo will be more musical on that bamboo cello than some trust-fund kid with the $100K cello and limited skill. Their coconut-recorder recording will be good simply because 2 skilled pros made it. No, it won't sonically equal the one made with SSL and the million dollar cello, but will it be "pro"? Yes. People with pro-level skills made it. I GUARANTEE you that you would enjoy the bamboo/coconut recording far more than the SSL/trust fund kid recording. Isn't that what it's all about??
There is no "pro" litmus test when it comes to audio. Yeah, some gear sounds a lot better than others, no doubt. I personally think you're confusing "pro" with "State of the art". "Audio Quality" starts in the real world: great playing by a pro-level on a good instrument in a suitable room. THAT'S audio quality. Capturing pro players with a Radio Shack mic (used by a pro-level engineer) will get "Pro Quality" (at least in a relative way). Capturing them with a Schoeps will get "State of the art" quality. The opposite is NOT true: capturing mediocre musicality with a gazillion dollars of gear won't produce "pro" anything. It will produce fantastic-sounding crap.