OT: Why wan't you tell me the answer?

  • Thread starter Thread starter noisewreck
  • Start date Start date
I <3 Wired

- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, give a fish a man and he will eat for like a month...
 
Exactly. People spend thousands on microphones, pre-amps, interfaces and software and expect that, for their investment, you should be able to plug it all together and sound like a recording made in a commercial studio engineered by a guy with 20 years experience.

The main thing they don't tell you is that, even with great equipment, you still have to learn how to use it, learn to understand the technology involved and, most important, just use it a lot and learn what works. Even the best software doesn't have a "make it sound like it should" menu.

(Of course, at the other end of the spectrum there are the "I only have $200 to spend--why won't that sound like a million dollars worth of building and gear" folks but that's a different debate.)

Anyhow, there's no substitute for experience--and no way to gain experience without working at at.

Bob
 
I avoid the newbie forum because it's just the same old questions being asked over and over repeatedly.Most times you'll have several of the same questions asked within a few posts of each other.I understand the search function can run you in circles at times,having to weed through a million somewhat unrelated posts,but at least read a page or two before posting.
 
LDS said:
Holy Crap!!! A countersteering thread on a recording board? :eek:

Un-fricking-believable...
Click to expand...

Of course if you're powersliding through a corner the steering procedures are a little different.
 
bouldersoundguy said:
Of course if you're powersliding through a corner the steering procedures are a little different.
Click to expand...
Been there, done that, scuffed the leathers...

0369.jpg
 
I get the angry "your mixes suck!" retort all the freaking time. It let's me know that I've successfully imposed my will on my opponent and they've gone so far off the rails that they'll reach for anyhting to stop the bleeding.
 
Greg_L said:
I get the angry "your mixes suck!" retort all the freaking time. It let's me know that I've successfully imposed my will on my opponent and they've gone so far off the rails that they'll reach for anyhting to stop the bleeding.
Click to expand...
Medic, quick! The opponent needs a tourniquet.
Nah, let him go.
There can be only one king.:laughings:
 
These secrets are mine! Mine I tell you Hahahahahahahahahahah .................................
And one day I will rule the world with them Hahahahahahahahah ..................................


Besides if I told you these secrets ..... I would have to kill you.
 
jimmys69 said:
Pointing in the right direction to actually figure shit out themselves, seems to me, the best for them to actually learn something.
Click to expand...

I've given answers like so:

"Page 328 in the print manual, page 323 in the PDF."

I mean I have the manual sitting on my desk, it takes a few seconds to look it up. But as far as typing it out all the time? You're right, they should put a pinch of effort into it first.
 
I like the "I just bought a _ with a _ & a _ & a _ with the _ option. Could someone explain to me how to hook them up?" But I have to admit I've probably done the same thing a time or two.
 
HR SUPPORT: "Hi, how can I help you?"

NEWBEE: "I keep singing into my new mic and nothing happens!"

HR SUPPORT: "Does the mic need phantom power?"

NEWBEE: "Need …what?"

HR SUPPORT: "Phantom power. It’s a method that sends DC (12 to 48 volts) electrical power through microphone cables to operate microphones that contain active electronic circuitry. It’s needed for powering condenser microphones, though many active DI boxes and other components also use it. It is often built into mixing desks, microphone preamps and similar equipment."

NEWBEE: "Preamps? Volts? DI Box? Mixing Desks? You mean I gotta learn all this sh*t just to lay down some killah vocals?"

**********************************************************

HR SUPPORT: "Hi, how can I help you?"

NEWBEE: "I’m trying to record my band, but every time we play it back, it sounds like ass and nothing like us! We’ve been playing together for 3 months so we know what we sound like. How do we get our recordings to sound like how we really should sound? "

HR SUPPORT: "That’s a pretty broad question… Can you give us more details? What are you using to record? What instruments? What kind of room are you recording in?"

NEWBEE: "GAWD!!! Can’t anyone just answer my question without more questions???? I got the same f*ckin responses in the Microphone, Guitar and Bass, Recording Techniques, and Drum forums!!!! Doesn’t anyone here know how to record a band??? "

HR SUPPORT: "Well first of all, we can’t help you without knowing a little more about your setup, and 2nd, it’s looked upon as poor online etiquette to cross-post."

NEWBEE: "Well I wouldn’t have to cross-post if you guys knew what the f*ck you were talking about! We need to have this CD ready by Thursday so we don’t have time to be answering a bunch of stupid questions!!!"


**********************************************************

HR SUPPORT: "Hi, how can I help you?"

NEWBEE: "I need to know where to set my compressor to sound exactly like Soulja Boy?"

HR SUPPORT: "Well, there isn’t any one particular setting to magically make things sound like other things… We can give you some basics about what each setting does and you can experiment tho… What compressor are you using?"

NEWBEE: "I’m using the C4 Multiband from the Waves Diamond Bundle."

HR SUPPORT: "Wow… Impressive! What’s your signal chain?"

NEWBEE: " My what…? "

HR SUPPORT: "How are you getting the signal into your computer (Mic, preamp, interface, etc.)?"

NEWBEE: "I just connect my Samson Go Mic to my laptop’s USB port."

HR SUPPORT: "Wait… You mean you’re using over $3000 worth of recording software and you only have a $35 Podcast mic? ....Hello? Hello??? Are you still there?"


**********************************************************

HR SUPPORT: "Hi, how can I help you?"

NEWBEE: "I’m a Producer and I need someone to tell me how to record my CD and put it on my Facebook without all the technical mumbo-jumbo"

HR SUPPORT: "Well, for starters, it might be easier to use the ‘Search’ function to see if any of your questions have already been answered."

NEWBEE: "I already did a search and couldn’t find anything but technical sh*t. I just need someone to just tell me, step by step, what I need to do."

HR SUPPORT: "Have you looked for any online tutorials that might explain…"

NEWBEE: "JEEEEZ!!! Listen, I'm not a technical person!!!! I just need you to tell me how to record a CD of my songs so people will buy them!!! Is that too much to ask???"

**********************************************************

HR SUPPORT: "Hi, how can I help you?"

NEWBEE: "whenever I try i cant get it to say what it soppose too unLess no one else has it first then theres a few seconds before we loose it again."

HR SUPPORT: :confused:
 
Last edited:
NEWBEE: "whenever I try i cant get it to say what it soppose too unLess no one else has it first then theres a few seconds before we loose it again."

Brain smelters these ones are!
 
mcmetal said:
I avoid the newbie forum because it's just the same old questions being asked over and over repeatedly.Most times you'll have several of the same questions asked within a few posts of each other.I understand the search function can run you in circles at times,having to weed through a million somewhat unrelated posts,but at least read a page or two before posting.
Click to expand...

I hang out in the Newbs a lot and try to be vaguely helpful, but I tell you, lately, it's just getting amazing - people who have no actual ability in any musical sphere, and admit it, are posting threads about how to get a YouTube video happening... unbelievable...
 
Armistice said:
I hang out in the Newbs a lot and try to be vaguely helpful, but I tell you, lately, it's just getting amazing - people who have no actual ability in any musical sphere, and admit it, are posting threads about how to get a YouTube video happening... unbelievable...
Click to expand...
That's the problem with the illusion of democracy and freedom and the internet has multiplied that a thousand fold. A very old lady I know who was born in the 1920s and has seen the world change immeasureably a few times over calls it 'the clamour of many voices'.
In some ways though, by buying so deeply into the technological revolution and 'trying to make life better', I can't help feeling we've contributed towards this attitude. For example, if someone posts a question here about possible ways of recording the sound of rain or a fire engine or something that's deemed to be wanky, analog and 'old school' or strictly passe, they'll often be mocked and told about samples or how in this day and age there's no reason to go to all the trouble of doing X when Y is around. That unwittingly fosters and perpetuates the "I want it quick and NOW!!" mentality. It's by no means the cause of it. But it subliminally perpetuates it and we end up chasing tails and going round and round and nowhere.
I'm in broad agreement with the sentiments expressed thus far {whether we like it or not, many young people over the last 25 years simply don't want to wait for anything, let alone take time out to learn things that may take a while} and we seem to go through these gluts in the newbie section where whole clods of newcomers seem to post very similar queries all at once. It's just that I see the possibilities of the other side too. I think it's a reflection of many societies in the West.
 
Here's another of my favourites

I just bought a ------, can someone please tell me: What is it for, how do I use it, how can I make it work with my USB mic

......30 minutes later

Bump!

.......15 minutes later

I can't believe you @%#*^$s won't answer my question, @^&$%# all of you @($*#^ers
 
I always try to give a place to start with settings like - how do I use a compressor - and some general guidelines for how to learn to use it properly. I know when I was a noob I'd take the settings as gospel and never change them. Then one day I learned how to use stuff and realized how terrible the settings were for me.

My favorite question is "I have a waves plugin package, cubase, (insert $1000s of other software) how do I use it?".
 
The one that always frustrates me is:
'I've been recording my guitar, I'm trying to record in stereo but it keeps just coming out on one track and the other is blank'
'What are you using to record'
'an SM57 into my interface'
'well, that's a mono source, you need to just record a mono track'
'I want it in stereo though, I want it to come out both speakers. My interface says it records in stereo, what do I do???!!'
*facepalm* :/
 
I noticed one today along the lines of "I'm a musician not an engineer and I have no interest in learning about technology. Please can you help me to....".

This, of course, is the equivalent of me posting "I'm an engineer, not a musician. I have no interest in learning about music but please can you tell me how to play songs on a piano without lots of musical mumbo jumbo?".

The trouble is, too many people think you can just plug in a microphone (if, of course, they even know that much) and the computer will do everything for you. They get very depressed when you try to explain they actually have to practice and go through a learning curve.

I guess it's not just home recording--everyone wants things immediately, without any effort on their part.

Bob
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top