Feedback on my song

  • Thread starter Thread starter fourthwardkid
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fourthwardkid

fourthwardkid

aka S Lord
OK so I posted this in the hip hop section and everyone looks but no one replies...what gives??? Just wanna get some honest feedback on an old song I produced and rapped on before I start working on new stuff. Your comments are appreciated! The song is called "Shine"

www.unsigned.com/sunzofthunder
 
ok ill bite....right after the intro..i was expecting to get hit in the face and it didnt happen...i believe the drum beat is just not in your face...i think you want that "laid back" feeling but can get it with more drive.. i play country music..(yeh i know)..but have 6 kids..and i do listen to all kinds and really like alot of hip hop artists..change that beat and i think it will "come out" at ya
 
First off I'd like to thank you for being the first to critique my song, it's been like pulling teeth just to get anyone to say ANYTHING!!! Yeah we were trying to achieve a laid back sort of subdued feel with this song and thats why I used a simple beat. As you probably noticed all of our vocals are in a mellow tone as well. After thinking about what you are saying I can hear a more driven beat behind this, I just might try it.
 
It sucky and cheesy. The tracks were recorded badly try to get good levels when you record so its not too low and not to hot so it wont distort. Work out the beat. Hope this helps:)
 
Hey thanks for the in depth analysis there Chik! Lol. "Sucky and cheesy" huh? Not unlike a bologna song, lmao!!!
 
I don't know the whole song is choppy may it can be fixed by adding more instruments IMO / and the vocals are distorted watch your input metering and microphone technique... if you want vocal fullness and can get it on the way in doctor it up in post production.
 
fourthwardkid said:
Hey thanks for the in depth analysis there Chik! Lol. "Sucky and cheesy" huh? Not unlike a bologna song, lmao!!!
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There is a difference between joking and seriousness. True the bologna song is sucky and cheesy its meant as a joke. Your stuff I assume you are taking seriously, Then you should work on presence quality etc... both in recording and song content. Thats all im trying to say. I am not particularly interested in rap however I do know of some great songs and it makes your stuff look like toys. Work on content and quality of songs in the "musical" sence. You may come out with some good material.
Oh and make sure your levels are good too.
 
Now that reads a little more like feedback. The cheesy and sucky comment was a bit vague not to mention silly...but I'm a big boy. My question is, why would you critique a genre you have no interest in and obviously know so little about? The comments on the technical aspects or lack thereof were helpful and well taken, but remember Chik you only reveal your ignorance when you are sharply dismissive of something you know little about...and your welcomed! ;)
 
Anybody can tell the difference between good rap and crappy rap. same with all music:)
 
As far as vocals go I think your flow is good and rhymes are ok, aside from the distortion. But the beats needs some changes or build-ups. I listened to your other stuff too, Keep Pushin' has some of the same problems, the beat needs some changing. This time the vocals are clearer, but it sounds like the bass is clipping. Something about Stairwells and Porches I'm not feeling, I'm not sure what it is, at least here the beat kinda switches up sometimes, but I think when it does change, it changes to a different key that feels a little awkward to me.
 
jlewis said:
As far as vocals go I think your flow is good and rhymes are ok, aside from the distortion.
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First thanks for the critique. When you say distortion what exactly do you mean? This may sound like a dumb question, but I can't hear it. Don't get me wrong others have said it too, so I realize there's something to it, but I need a little more specifics. Like I said I'm getting ready to record new material and I don't want to make the same mistakes. Thanks.
 
its not to good, its lacking alot of good solid punch lines and good beats
 
Punch lines are not really our style. If you listen a little closer to what we're rapping about you should be able to discern that this is not that type rap. As far as beats, what would you consider good beats? Just interested
 
fourthwardkid said:
First thanks for the critique. When you say distortion what exactly do you mean? This may sound like a dumb question, but I can't hear it. Don't get me wrong others have said it too, so I realize there's something to it, but I need a little more specifics. Like I said I'm getting ready to record new material and I don't want to make the same mistakes. Thanks.
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The hook is fine, but everything the first rapper does isn't smooth, crisp, and clear, it's like it was clipping through the whole recording. The second and third rappers sound better though. Now that I listen again I think the second rapper might be a little quiet also. Look at the original wave of the first rapper's verse and see if the waves hit the top and bottom of the track, if they do, you need to re-record with the levels down a little. If they don't then you might have put the gain up too much on something somewhere in your workflow. Could be bad use of a limiter? i dunno
 
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