I am a sucky guitarist because:

What makes you such a blowy guitarist?

  • I don't know enough theory

    Votes: 37 33.3%

  • My picking hand feels like a brick

    Votes: 20 18.0%

  • My fretting hand is glacially slow

    Votes: 24 21.6%

  • I blame my equipment (piece of shit guitar, amp says "Crate" on it, etc.)

    Votes: 3 2.7%

  • I sound like crap unless I use a boatload of effects

    Votes: 2 1.8%

  • Er...because I'm a drummer?

    Votes: 12 10.8%

  • I'm refuse to play anything but "Smoke On The Water" on my Fender So-Cal

    Votes: 2 1.8%

  • My name is acidrock

    Votes: 11 9.9%
  • Total voters
    111
Unsprung said:
I voted for "I don't know enough theory." Truthfully, I'm actually a decent enough player, and I have a really good singing voice (from bass to tenor), but I've yet to figure out the knack for playing AND singing at the same time. It's either playing, or singing, otherwise I'd be trying to play the vocal part, or trying to sing the guitar part(s). Some of my acquaintances and friends are impressed with my playing...not because I'm any virtuoso by any stretch of the imagination, but because I can actually make noise happen that sounds like various songs they might be familiar with. I'm also self-taught, and my "chording" style is what I describe as "a cross between Django Reinhardt and Keith Richards" (due to a permanent injury in my left hand).

Matt
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Tip...stick to 4ths and 5th intervals while singing...full chords will muddy up things anyhow.
 
The details of my guitar playing ineptitude are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
 
I'm a bad guitarist because my pinky is terrarded.

I can't use it. Idk why. The only time i can use it is for chords... it pisses me off.
 
I'm a sucky guitarist because... Man that's kind of a twofold(maybe not) question. I've been playing for 20 years and going, started playing when I was 12 and now 32. I suck because I've covered the song Paranoid too much. Paranoid has to be Black Sabbath's answer to Deep Purple's Smoke on the Water. D***n, even Sabbath added Smoke on the Water to the set list when Ian Gillan was in the band for the Born Again tour! I grew up listening to Black Sabbath and still do(old habits die hard). It was Tony Iommi that inspired me to play and influenced me to buy two Gibson SGs. Black Sabbath songs are all I can play with any skill. I can play 95% of Black Sabbath's material. I've overstudied and overcopied Iommi's techniques and style waaaaay toooooo much I think. I used to be able to cover 8x% of Metallica's songs too. I used to wow people that heard me play. I was recently for a while covering some Motley Crue tunes(mostly from the Too Fast for Love and Shout at the Devil albums). I used to and sometimes still do or attempt to cover songs to varying skill by Dio, Savatage, Jethro Tull, Jimmi Hendrix, Iron Butterfly, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, System of a Down, Type O Negative, Elvis Presley, Carl Perkins, Jim Croce, Buddy Holly, Pantera, Queen and a whole bunch of other bands and artists of different generes, varying from blues to nu metal, to psychadelic rock to jazz, to 50s and 60s rock and roll to country, just about everything and anything to keep myself inspired or uninspired. All of this has hurt my creativity when it comes down to coming up with my own tunes. I can hum all of these great ideas for riffs or leads, but they never seem to translate to the guitar very well. I also suck beacause I've currently been in a funk of not beeing able to hold on to a pick very well. I also play a bass and finding it being easier to play a bass. I've also found after I've played my bass I can't play my SGs very good.
 
Monkey Allen said:
The details of my guitar playing ineptitude are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
Click to expand...

Ok that explains your quest for world domination and possibly also explains your infatuation with putting lasers on the heads of sharks, but what about your guitar playing?
 
Monkey Allen said:
The details of my guitar playing ineptitude are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
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Do you have a cat?
 
I just don't have guitarist hands. They're too small. Complex rhythm guitar parts are mostly ok, but any leads starting to get complex or fast are hopeless for me.
 
i suck 'cause i spent too much time with programming editors and network tools instead of playing. for the last few years i've been playing catchup, but i suck a little less every day. :D
 
true-eurt said:
T0p ten reasons I blow at guitar~

1.I'm a keyboardist..oh wait, I suck at that too!
2.I'm lazy and don't practice enough.
3.I get frustrated at my incompetence.
4.I am so talented with wah cries, whammy shimmers and tube screamed sustains in my bwain, my fingers are afraid to perform.
5.I'm a drummer?
6.It hurts my fingers too much.
7.It's not me...it's the guitar.
8.I'm a gurl..:eek:
9.I can't pick and fret at the same time.
10.I need a new tuner.

:D:D:D...all of the above.
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bong hits will take care of all that....except #4, they just make that sound cooler. :D
 
metalhead28 said:
Hi Purge.
I must say, I don't know why you're a sucky guitarist. You tell me.
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Well, I can think of a few reasons and all of them involve my equipment...my pickups won't stay in tune, my floating bridge doesn't sound "warm", the strings on the back of the neck are getting rusty, my whammy bar doesn't tremelo pick as fast as I'd like, and my tone knob (whatever the hell THAT thing does...) has a bunch of numbers on it that don't match up to any tablature I've ever seen. The real reason though...is that I was never able to afford your Jackson. :(
 
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