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[SebMood]

Hi everyone!

I'm not a native English speaker, unfortunately.

I already posted about my uncertainties in the forum a while back and thankfully received encouragement to keep going...

I'd love to show you a song that hasn't been mastered or released yet and would really appreciate your feedback! I'm curious to hear your opinions!


Have a great Sunday and best regards!

 

[TalismanRich]

Hey SebMood, is there supposed to be a link to your song? I saw the post early this morning, but did not have time to listen. Now that I have time, the link seems to have disappeared.

 

[SebMood]

Hi @TalismanRich !

Sure!

Here it is:

Thanks!

 

[SebMood]

I appreciate any feedback!

Happy first Advent!

 

[TalismanRich]

OK, a couple of things:

I like the basic track a lot. The jazzy vibe is interesting and fun listening. I like the addition of the brass. The little trumpet part that bounces is a nice touch.

I'm not a fan of the drum track. It needs some variation, some "humanization". The sound to very robotic. Its a case where a good drummer would improve the track immensely! The snare/rim shot sound seems too loud. It doesn't sit well in the mix. The kick a too strong for my taste as well. The drums just seem to dominate the good piano and vocal work. What are you using for the drum track?

There are a few places (1:18 to 1:21, 2:48 to 2:51 and 2:07 to 2:30) where the tone changes pretty drastically. I'm not sure what's going on, but it reminds me of the times when a tape screwed up and moved out of alignment. (old folks like me will recognize the sound) For the part with the "mantra in my head", a good drummer would find a new pattern to set that section apart from the main verse. I can imagine some hi-hat rhythm work followed by a nice fill to go back into the main rhythm patterns.

The piano could probably use a bit of compression to smooth things out, just for balance. It's not bad, and it may actually be fine once the drums are tamed.

It's hard to pick out the bass work. It sits in the same range as the kick, and gets lost. Some EQ work should help bring it out. A nice slappy bass could sound good there.

You've got a good starting point. Keep working on it.

 

[SebMood]

OK, a couple of things:

I like the basic track a lot. The jazzy vibe is interesting and fun listening. I like the addition of the brass. The little trumpet part that bounces is a nice touch.

I'm not a fan of the drum track. It needs some variation, some "humanization". The sound to very robotic. Its a case where a good drummer would improve the track immensely! The snare/rim shot sound seems too loud. It doesn't sit well in the mix. The kick a too strong for my taste as well. The drums just seem to dominate the good piano and vocal work. What are you using for the drum track?

There are a few places (1:18 to 1:21, 2:48 to 2:51 and 2:07 to 2:30) where the tone changes pretty drastically. I'm not sure what's going on, but it reminds me of the times when a tape screwed up and moved out of alignment. (old folks like me will recognize the sound) For the part with the "mantra in my head", a good drummer would find a new pattern to set that section apart from the main verse. I can imagine some hi-hat rhythm work followed by a nice fill to go back into the main rhythm patterns.

The piano could probably use a bit of compression to smooth things out, just for balance. It's not bad, and it may actually be fine once the drums are tamed.

It's hard to pick out the bass work. It sits in the same range as the kick, and gets lost. Some EQ work should help bring it out. A nice slappy bass could sound good there.

You've got a good starting point. Keep working on it.

Yeah! Thanks a lot for your feedback, @TalismanRich !

Yes. This "tape" effect is intentional and serves as a kind of transition. I completely agree with you about the volume of the snare and drums. They're still too loud for the song... Variations in the drums will be added later... Thank you so much for timing it!

One question I'd really like to know is: What about the non-native English? What are your thoughts on that? I often feel insecure about it, but purely from a vocal perspective, I feel more connected to the language than to German. Have a nice evening!

 

[TalismanRich]

I have no issues with a non-native English speaker doing the song. There have been tons of groups who's first language isn't English. Scorpions are German, as are Nena and Camouflage. I don't think people really care as long as they understand the lyrics.

 

[TalismanRich]

By the way, dropping the highs frequencies as a transition doesn't work for me. It sounds like a mistake. "Ooops, I messed up that EQ!". A real transition would be a pattern change, going from cymbals to hi hat, or adding a drum fill.

 

[SebMood]

I have no issues with a non-native English speaker doing the song. There have been tons of groups who's first language isn't English. Scorpions are German, as are Nena and Camouflage. I don't think people really care as long as they understand the lyrics.

Thank u for your feedback!

I'm truly grateful for that!

 

[Slouching Raymond]

The english is fine. Vocals are good.
In general the music is a bit harsh on the ears. I turned my volume down.
Maybe needs a bass guitar part to contrast with the piano and trumpet. And tame those drums.

 

[TalismanRich]

There is a "bass" track, sounds more synth than bass guitar. It's somewhat indistinct, and the kick sits in the same space. I think a nice punchy P-Bass would work nicely.

 

[SebMood]

The english is fine. Vocals are good.
In general the music is a bit harsh on the ears. I turned my volume down.
Maybe needs a bass guitar part to contrast with the piano and trumpet. And tame those drums.

Tank u @Slouching Raymond !