Writing Topic

  • Thread starter Thread starter blackbuck
  • Start date Start date
check my post last week about pinch writting, taking a subject from the news and writing about the topic.

It's supposed to be an excercise.
 
Sorry - I didn't see your last post. Didn't mean to be obtuse.
 
You're not making this easy---

Really trying to fill my head with happy thoughts but
Okay---any particular rules about the spin to put on the
topic?????
 
No rules-

I too thought this was a very difficult piece to write about. That's why I chose it, because normally I never would have chosen it.

Personally, I just.... well... I'm not done yet... just read the article, and wrote about how I felt, whatever came to mind. I'm still trying to translate that into a finished product. But honestly, my goal is that mine doesn't sound like it's about him, or anything related to 911 at all.

I too have been trying to be positive. Next time I'll pick something completely different.
 
Good idea Bob...

I was thinking that we'd all do our own individually, then see what everyone has.... but I do like that title.
 
It's from an old (true) story written about a young Naval officer during the war of 1812. He got drunk and shouted out "I hate that flag, and the country it stands for. I wish I would never have to see it again." They court-martialed him and sentenced him to life aboard ships of the line, never to return to America again. If you look up the title you can probably find the story somewhere.
History repeats itself once again.

Bob
 
Awwwwwwww sh*t, I hate being first!!!!
But I really don't want to spend the weekend
thinking about this--sooooo let's flush shall we????

A song for Walter

The eagle took to the air screaming
While all cowered to clear her path
She flew to the Afghan Mountains
And there she unleashed her wrath.

She said if you're not for me
Then you're against me
In this let there be no doubt
All you better heed my warning
For justice will prevail she did shout

Chorus:

Boy,What were you thinking
Couldn't you separate church and state
Innocents killed in the name of religion
Now the court will sit
In judgement on your fate
Now the court will sit
In judgement on your fate

Some are gonna call you a sinner
Some may even call you a saint
You may call yourself a freedom fighter
But accomplis to mass murder
Will read the complaint.

Chorus and fini.


Now back to my happy thoughts----tralaalaa
 
Analog4..You did beter than I did ,I havent come up with a thing yet!Happy thoughts La La La...LOL


Don
 
Ok, I'll try to post a critique before I post my own. Considering how broad the rules were, it's hard to critique as well. Maybe next time we can make stuff more specific topic wise.

analog4 said:
A song for Walter

The eagle took to the air screaming
While all cowered to clear her path
She flew to the Afghan Mountains
And there she unleashed her wrath.

She said if you're not for me
Then you're against me
In this let there be no doubt
All you better heed my warning
For justice will prevail she did shout

Chorus:

Boy,What were you thinking
Couldn't you separate church and state
Innocents killed in the name of religion
Now the court will sit
In judgement on your fate
Now the court will sit
In judgement on your fate

Some are gonna call you a sinner
Some may even call you a saint
You may call yourself a freedom fighter
But accomplis to mass murder
Will read the complaint.

Chorus and fini.
Click to expand...

I like the opening verse: the visual of the eagle really starts working for me!

The only problem I have is that well, it doesn't seem to match the rest of the song. "For justice will prevail she did shout"... after that, it's almost as if there is a transition that is missing... say, the eagle finding one of it's own, betraying it or something. That's the only complaint I have. The silabyls flow together, but then again it's hard to know without music.

Saturday I wrote and recorded mine. Here's the words, along with my minimalist approach. They're messed up & not nice, so if it's not your bag I understand. Next time we'll do more "happy thoughts". :)

Bite Your Lip

You could live or you could die
either way, I won't cry
Death is way too easy for you
pathetic little boy
what did those people do to you?
Bit your lip when the order came through
I cried all night for them,
but I feel nothing, for you

If you die
then that's fine
I'm fine
That's fine

You could live or you could die
either way, I wont cry
let me lay it out for you
pathetic little boy
You just let that shit be done
in the back you stabbed everyone
all those who died that day
so now fucker it's time to pay

And that's fine
I'm fine
That's fine
I'm fine.

I'll try to post the rough recording of this sometime soon.
 
Hey blacbuck,

Should we all post a recording??

Let me know ok?????
 
I don't think it should be mandatory- but if someone has the time to do it, then that'd be cool! Though, the quality isn't really important. I know with mine, the vocal take definately isn't what I completely want....

Anyway, I'll try to figure out where to post mine soon.
 
Post recordings

Hi blackbuck,

Waldo invited me to post tunes over at his place--
http://nowhereradio.com ---You'll find a lot of HR members
over there..

I'll play around a bit and post the music as well---Coupla' days
I guess....

How's it going anyway????
 
I'm probably just going to post it how it currently is, and eventually redo the vocal once I have time to rehash it and learn it well.

Otherwise, it's essentially done! It came together awefully quickly. I sat there with nothing for about 15 minutes thinking, damn I'll never come up with anything, started beating on the guitar, next thing I new I had the thing done.
 
Yeah,

I sat at the kitchen table and pretended I was Bob Dylan------

-------If only------lol

By the way Gina and liked your lyrics--a little more in the face
than me but I bet it rocks!!!(Or whatever it is that young people
say now--can't keep up!)
 
Heh, I hope I don't build up an expectation that I can't match. :) I kinda think it rocks but I'm not quite happy with everything... heck I thought I'd just throw something together for the excercise, and I ended up kinda liking it!

I liked your stuff too, so hopefully I'll get to hear how the music works with it. I've liked your songs before. What do you record with?

Thanks for the kind words... yeah it was pretty angry I guess, I didn't really think much about it.... though, I try to write "happier songs" they tend to not often be.

Is Gina the girl that you wrote some of the other songs for? I bet she liked them.
 
Hi blackbuck,

Just working on a couple of arrangements for a summer festival
gig...Don't have the band personnel yet.

Gina is my wife and best friend. We've been together for years.

Nothing wrong with being angry about this subject...

--Still looking forward to hearing how your tune runs...
Nobody's going to take apart a draft mix---That's why we
hang out here, right???--So we can bounce concepts around
without the sniping you can find elsewhere...

I'll get my shit together and post a mp3.
 
Yeah, I guess we're posting for others to shoot darts at it.

Personally I believe my own shiznit sucks, so any + feedback will be... well... well taken.

Now. I can't remember the damn password to my server... ok, ok it's been like a year, I'll figure it out soon.

So, you married this chic? (j/K). Seriously I hope that someday I feel like that about someone.

It sounds like we're the only one writtin... maybe we should do it bi-weekly? Anway, I hope to hear more writting soon,and maybe your music.
 
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