Hey man, I think you went to far in the mono direction now, lol. Probably not what you wanted to hear.
I think it would help matters a lot of you took that rhythm guitar part and panned it left and right with a very slight delay between the 2 tracks...like 20-30 milliseconds. Alternatively, you could play the rhythm guitar part again and pan each out.
I mean, there are no rules in my book when it comes to panning, but there are some pretty standard approaches that seem to work well in most circumstances.
Kick/snare/bass/lead vocal - center
Rhythm gits - doubled and panned
Lead guitars - VERY slightly left or right of center
On your first mix, it sounds like the drums are totally left, lol...that might actually be a rule violation, now that I think about it.
Really, the 2nd mix is a ton closer...just spread the rhythm guits out and I think you're half way there. Some tom panning helps too, and if you've got anyway to pan brass - hat right, ride left...cymbals alternating left and right...it just makes the mix bigger.
still a cool song, and you sing the hell out of it. I liked the way you panned the backups at the end.