What you think about these lryics.

What I can't knock is a rapper telling their "own" story of their life experience. There is a lot of truths in the so called "Thug Music".... Those situations are equally important in educating the youths, let them know the truth of what really is going on. Everything is not peachy cream, but incorporate a positive solution in your music also. Give them hop and allow them to dream too. That could be their only way out!
 
bknot1 said:
read all the post..i posted a website for you to check out
Click to expand...
Yeah Ill go and check it out, so I can start learning that, thinks. Ok yeah I found it I over looked it. Thinks for your help.
 
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Your making a good point in your writings wakeupbomb. And maybe I did miss lead that rap a little. But when I wrote it I was pissed. That song aint about all women, its about hoes and sluts. Which i actually wrote it about one of my ex and a homie. Cause she was trying to act like a lady when shes really a hoe. The way I see it is a hoe should listen to a song like that, maybe she will realize and be willing to change to get more respect. It aint my fault. She chose her lifestyle. The way I see it is why respect someone who dont respect there selves. You cant do it or atleast I cant. You saying I should respect a hoe. They bring it on thereselves. Let me ask you one thing than. Should I go ahead and respect child melesters or any othere sex offender too. I can call them a coward. but then it might not be right for me to do that than. I dont like calling a hoe a hoe. But like I said they chose the way they live. I dont like seeing women go out and give blowjobs and fuck just to get money, or some do it just for the excitment or pleasure. Like you said in your statement, alot of this is the way that the parents raised there children thats true. And the only way that things can change are the big time celebrities. And they aint gonna do it cause there gonna do what ever they have to to get money from what they create and sell. I have no choice and you have no choice. Things are just gonna get worst as time goes on. Yeah a lady might get mad at me for writing a song like this, but a tru hoe has no reason to get mad cause it only speaks the truth. I would never disrespect a lady, unless there actually a hoe. I got married not too long. And My wife was a virgen when I met her. And there aint nuthing I respect more than that. When I first got wit her I didnt try and fuck her, because the way she was. And she respected me for that. I was at the lowest point of my life. Dintnt have a car, had a peace of shit job. And really didnt care about my future. But she liked me I got wit her and now we have a baby. And my life is starting to get alot better and more positive. But I wasnt always negative. I write alot of positive songs too. I was watching the news one day, And I seen something about a guy who raped and killed a 5 year old girl. The first thing I did was picked up a pin and paper and started writing. Wishin that someday I could be a big time rapper to get the point across. Which I guess you might like this one. Ill write the first verse of it in a minute. But I do know what your saying about my other song. You might not have too much respect for me because of that song. And I dont blaim you cause your standing next to your point. Its like me for instint Emenem I have alot of respect for him but I dont like the shit he raps about. Killen his childs mother while shes watching. Or because he talks shit about people like britney spears, vanilla ice, back street boys. I know he dont listen to them and I know they didnt talk shit to him. so why diss them, when deathrow is clowning on him all day and aint said shit back to them. But when I wrote mine it gots meaning atleast to me it does. But its cool it sounds alot different read than recorded. Because that is one of the reason alot of other people aint got no respect for rap, and dont like it. Is because of those kind of songs. And that one probably is the most cussing and talking shit song Ive ever written. But anyways heres the other one I was talking about. And this aint negative. so let me here your thought on it.


Damn what the hell is going on. Roomer has it that Im gonna be dead and gone.Is it really too late, Too change. Get away from all this hate. Send me on my way to this heavenly place. Slow down the pace. Cryen tears all over my face. Thinken about life, lord when is it my time. I left all the bad behind. I work hard in this rap game tryen to make my name shine. More than a million rhymes. Im a one of a kind. I looked up to my brother before he died. And now days my girls the one keepen me inline. No more evil signs, cause back in 1999 everything was a crime. Shocked by the things I see on the news, Killens, rapens, and drug use. Call it truth. You young parents aint teachen your kids what they getten into. So growen up, these youngstas aint got a clue. About life, maken it the way that they choose. 5 years old drinken beer instead of juice. Haten on you, mom and dad too. Cause to them all they got is there crew.
 
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ok man, im going to be brutally honest, because i respect anyone that takes the time to write, enough not to sugar coat anyhing.
so keep in mind this is one mans opinion...

This was bad.
it was really cliche. The world is a big crazy place, i know you think about more than fucking hoes and going to clubs. thats been done to death.
what interests you? how do you see life? do you hate the president?
communicate your thoughts, not what other people are saying.

the rhyming was pretty basic. add some swagger to it.
rhyme multiple words in each line. Rhyme words that are more than one syllable long.

try to make people look at things in a diferent light, give them something to chew on.

there was no direction in this song.
it sounded like a whole bunch of words thrown together.
dont sacrifice content because you think of two words that rhyme.
i other words...dont rhyme and decide what it means later.
instead... decide what you want to say, and find ways to make it rhyme.

use metaphores.
compare things in ways most poeple wouldnt connect, to make your point.
be creative. like...
instead of making a song about driving your car,
compare your car to a space ship, and the city to outerspace.
go crazy and have fun with it. experiment and dont be afraid to shy away from the norm'.

also, dont rush it. writting a good song takes weeks, months, sometimes longer. but its worth it in the end.

your on the right track. you have potential. but you also have a ways to go.
if you truly love making music and writting, youll progress.
the pure love of it, is the only thing strong enough to carry you through.

good luck.
 
Yeah I know what your saying. This song is normal. Im still working on my writings, which all songs that I have finished, I gotta go back and rewrite them trying to add better rhymes to them. Im starting to use the dictionary alot now trying to learn new words I could use. I started a few songs that use un ordinary words. and they do got 2 or 3 syllable rhymes,I just aint finished them yet. Cause I ran out of ideas and cant figure out what to do with them. Like I said Im new and most people on this sight probably knows more than me. But I have learned more in the last couple months off this sight than I have in the last couple of years. Like the bars I didnt know anything about them. I dindnt realize how much things I needed to know til I came here. I show my friends my songs they like them, but they aint rappers or producers. I cant learn off of them. but yall are. but by the things that you say and by what other people in this sight say. Im learning off of it. And all i can do is get better. I have no reason to get mad for anyone saying it sucks or whatever. It just makes me try harder and try to learn alot more. Well gonna head out for now.peace.
 
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So how long have you been writing? I know when I first started, I sucked (I've been writing rhymes since I was 13). But as I got older, I got more creative with wordplay, storytelling, and metaphors.
 
Ive been writing sicne i was 17. Im 24 now. My raps started to get alot better whan I was about 20 or 21. Which I actually aint wrote one in awhile, atleast a finished one, cause im always working. My last finished raps I think are decent most of them are too basic though. But my first ones I almost killed myself reading them.lol.I noticed though since my first finished one to my last finished one. Alot of my writing is changed. Which I figure within the next year or so, my writings will probably get even better, atleast Im hoping.
 
So you've only had 7 years....I've been at mine for about 16 years (damn I sound old now) and I still have room to improve. Progression in your skills stop when you stop challenging yourself, remember that.
 
lol. yeah pretty much around 7 years. The biggest thing with me that im trying to change is i get in a rush. im rushing my studio my writings and everything else. So im mainly trying to work on taking my time with it all.
 
Yeah, that's for sure. The more you rush, the more sloppy your product might be. I mean sometimes if I want to write something really good, I'll take it verse by verse. When I record it, if it doesn't sound right I can change it.
 
Yeah thats tru, thats my biggest problem is getting in a rush, just trying to slow everything down. I rushed my studio, my writings, and now I got alot to go back and redo. Hey I got a question. Ive been looking at that sight about music theory, tryen to learn about bars. But Im confused as hell.

When I write this shit - it's like a suicide letter
Except it's me offin' you - if only to make cheddar

that is it 4 bars 2 words per bar or what. If not please let me know, so I can get a little ideal of it and how it works, thinks.
 
Nativikee said:
Yeah thats tru, thats my biggest problem is getting in a rush, just trying to slow everything down. I rushed my studio, my writings, and now I got alot to go back and redo. Hey I got a question. Ive been looking at that sight about music theory, tryen to learn about bars. But Im confused as hell.

When I write this shit - it's like a suicide letter
Except it's me offin' you - if only to make cheddar

that is it 4 bars 2 words per bar or what. If not please let me know, so I can get a little ideal of it and how it works, thinks.
Click to expand...

The dashes I put in there are breaks where I'll pause and take a breath
 
Nice work on the positive stuff. I'm sorry I went off earlier, you know, I'm not saying that the voilent stuff doesn't have it's place....especially if it's cleverly done (a.k.a. Eminem), but your rhyme just seemed forced and cliche. I liked the positive one though. Keep at it, refine it, rework it, get some of those metaphors in there, get some books about the English language so you can learn how to manipulate the language better, read some Shakesphere, even if you don't understand it (cause lord knows I don't know what the hell he's sayin a lot of times), you can still see the way he plays with words, and if you read it over a over again a couple times you know what he's getting at and it'll help. Read some poets. EE Cummings, Walt Whitman, Sylvia Plath, all these people were the "rappers" of their time, and you can learn a lot about language and how to better use it for your stuff if you look into these people. Of course listening to old school rappers and reading their lyrics is good too, but go back further and see what you can find. Those old guys are considered "classics" and "legends"for a reason. You could even go back to old songwriters for examples. They may not be rap songs, but look at what Run DMC did with that Aerosmith song. I'm not saying you should cover a song, but check out their wordplay. I know that this stuff helps me a lot when I'm writing. Keep it up man, don't throw in the towel cause of dickhead know-it-alls like me, I just like to vent.
 
Yeah its cool. I understand what your saying. Yeah Pretty much all my raps need rewritten. I aint had time to do it. Probably my first song Im gonna start working on is gonna be a tribute song. But I aint written it yet though cause I cant seem to get no ideas of what to do with it. I never did think about reading poetry. I might give that a shot and see what happens. Yeah oldschool rap is really all I listen too. The sad thing about it is, Im learning alot from you guys on this sight, than Im gonna end up having to teach my people. Im planning for my studio to be finished by march than thats when all the real learning begins. Which first couple of songs I work on there will probably be a couple of demos up just to see what i need to work on in them.
 
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