Swimming Upstream

Hi Tim- the guitar sounds really good to me. Love that jangly sound. The vocal seems pretty pitchy and dry though, I wonder if it wouldn't benefit from a little pitch correction and eq (it's got a bit of a harshness to it.) The balances of the instruments sounds good to me. :thumbs up: Catchy song too.

Not a mix thing of course but I'm not sure I would've gone with "like a salmon in heat." Makes sense but gives me kind of a weird visual. ;)
 
LOL - "the salmon in heat" line is pretty weird I'll admit - but I feel like it kinda captures a certain baseness - LOL

I hear you on the pitchiness. I didn't say in my first post that I am in a songwriting club where we're given a phrase every week and we have to write a song by Sunday midnight or we get kicked out of the club. This week's phrase was "swimming upstream." I didn't have a tune written or really any idea until Sunday morning and just bashed it out over the course of about 4 hours. lol - No excuse -I know - fact is, I didn't leave myself much time to do more than track and render. Again, no excuse. Cuz at the end of the day I didn't have to share it unmixed but I was so tickled with the chorus that my ADHD kicked in and I said "What the heck. Here ya go World." LOL.

Thank you for the straight-up critique!!!

Cheers!



easlern said:
Hi Tim- the guitar sounds really good to me. Love that jangly sound. The vocal seems pretty pitchy and dry though, I wonder if it wouldn't benefit from a little pitch correction and eq (it's got a bit of a harshness to it.) The balances of the instruments sounds good to me. :thumbs up: Catchy song too.

Not a mix thing of course but I'm not sure I would've gone with "like a salmon in heat." Makes sense but gives me kind of a weird visual. ;)
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That's really awesome for a four hour effort. That's about how long it takes me just to record a vocal lol
 
You got those vocals entirely in the box?! What vocal synthesizer are you using? :D

The mix sounds pretty good. Everything seems to have its place. The bass might be a touch loud; it dominates the mix, but it's not really the most interesting thing happening.

I like the subtle low harmony at the end of the chorus.
 
I like it. I predict that club is heading for zero members though. Your voice is good. I really think you need to sing it ten or twenty or thirty times until you own it. I should take that advice myself.
 
I dig it...great lyrics...though I agree with easlern that salmon in heat was a little weird..the gist of the song the trials and endless tribulations that we face to get to the end to only end up floating on down to the deep blue green....

More than one way to skin a cat and you did a fine job... yeah you need to go back and "own" the vocal..it's strictly a confidence thing..

you have a great voice and sing in perfect pitch some places but definitely off in others..

Like a Salmon keeping the beat could be an alternative...

also deep blue gree could be deep blue scene or sea...green kind of threw me off..

Your football, your rules...great tune!:thumbs up:
 
It's a fun tune. To me this type of tune is best with a 'real' acoustic environment sound. Most of the sounds you are using are passable for that. But there is one that sticks out to me as not fitting and that is the snare drum. It sounds like it is heavily gated and also has a plate reverb - quite unnatural. I actually like the root of the snare sound - it has the right tone and the right amount of flap.

Hope this helps!
 
Hey Robus - Thanks for the feedback! Yeah - I know I should re-record the vocals "owning" it. LOL - the bugger with this songwriting club is I have zero-time to do precisely that. :-) But I'm writing like a madman - - which is super cool. Ah - - - - time....................................

Thank you again!

---------- Update ----------

It totally helps! Thanks!
 
Thank you so much for the feedback!!!! Yeah - at some point - because I really do dig the song - - I'll need to redo those vocals. Time - - - that ever diminishing quantity and volume. :-)

The salmon line - - LOL - - yeah, it's weird. lol

Thanks again!
 
Yeah - the club is thoroughly brutal.And it is going to be even worse this week. Somebody had the bright idea of making the word "eyepatch" the word of the week. Ugh........................................
 
Zydeceltico said:
Yeah - the club is thoroughly brutal.And it is going to be even worse this week. Somebody had the bright idea of making the word "eyepatch" the word of the week. Ugh........................................
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Too funny. There is a great De La Soul song called exactly eyepatch :-)
 
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