defienlty do the hammer ons and thier is this thing i forget wat its called but you squezze it adn it strengthens your fingers, i had the same problem it helped. oh ya do pinky push ups jm
Thanks for the advice guys. I've been working on it for awhile and can feel some results, but I'll give some of these things a try.
I think part of my limitations is small fingers. It really takes effort to stretch across the 5th - 7th - 9th fret. Some of the guys in my band we're watching G3 and their guitar gymnastics. Vai's got some ungawdly long fingers. I'll keep working on it, but I may have to accept my physical limitations.