Sjoko2's mastering offer scam

RE: SJOKO

It's hilarious and sad to see all this. I left this board because of piss poor attitudes and bullshit flying around like mosquito's in the middle of August 3-4 months ago....Every so-often, actually about once a month I step back inside the ring, and see if anything interests me..... This one caught my eye!

I emailed Sjoko way back ... even before that offer he put out, and asked him if he would give a listen to my stuff.... he said yeah, and I sent him the cd.... Well I don't even think it was a week since sending it all the way from Ontario, Canada that he responded after having listened to my work...

I believe his exact words on my song were "I love the concept... it sounds good" ... (Which is what most real-carreer engineers say about my recordings) However, he did point out 1 mistake, which the others didn't, which I already knew about, and only trained ears could hear... (The very last 4-5 seconds of the song got a tad cut off in places.. due to my rushed and overzealous editing. It,s just a few milliseconds here and there and was so very minor, that most would have left it... Well he pointed it out..

He also suggested I add a bit of reverb to the chourus... (Which i still haven't done... I love the dry sound of the 40+ vocal layers, but yeah naturally one should put reverb in a place like that..)....Another Pro engineer from a studio in my city suggested reverb on the chorus vocals also.. Sjoko Definately has ears...

I guarantee you he has the most experienced and has the best ears on this board... You people are lucky to have him.... He could just say.. 'Fuck 'em"... Im outta here, sort of like what I did (I am known to be extremely intolerant...)...But knowing his character, he will stay on and continue to help you guys...


I can smell bullshit and inexperience a 300 miles away...
Sjoko IS real.

Cherish him, he is the only real world class pro here.

Joe
 
sjoko2 said:
Thanks guys.
Track Rat - re the 'praise bands' - that was my first encounter, I get the picture now. Which still leaves me amazed about how you can avocate one thing, and do the opposite.
Click to expand...

Not everyone who sings and plays christian music walk the talk. But that dosen't mean all christian singers/musicians are like that. Please don't let you first impression of one be your lasting impression of all. I try to deal and consider people individually regardless of their affiliations or the lack thereof.

Hope you have a quick recovery from your surgery.

Sincerely,

<><
George
 
Sjoko2,



As controversial & unpopular as I may be I want you to know that I
acknowledge the many hours spent educating us homers & the dedication
it take to do the posting that you do.

Any member worth his weight in spit would assume that your mastering
offer was genuine & to give homers further education & a break.

I feel the need to apologize for these complete FUCKING IDIOTS
for their lack of trust & understanding.

I for one although was unable to use your services at the time, am grateful
that you offered the mastering.

Please, please keep posting & teaching us all about Music Fidelity.



LOVE,
SEAN
 
apologies in advance for tasteless humor

I'll master anyone's work for 25$. What you get for my low-low-price:

1. I'll convert your CDR to digital audio ;) .
2. I'll run each channel separately through my specially modified, extra-fancy, extremely rare and expensive Boss EQ-7 effect for frequency-dependent audio enhancement.
3. Dependent on genre, I will listen and decide whether to apply the extra-special "IbanezTubeScream" analog boost technology, or the even more special "ProCoRat" sound enhancing technology. Believe me, it will be phat, punchy, and huge sounding! For special projects, one stereo channel can be treated with each type of boost. This creates a unique, professional sound that really catches a DJ's ear!
4. Final mastering is a painstaking process involving turning knobs until things are really friggin loud, followed by compression, limiting, more compression, and more limiting for that really "hot" sound.
5. Finally, for that nouveau underground sound, bit reduction can be applied. I can take your sound from the sterile, crisp world of high-fidelity, 24-bit, 44.1 kHz all the way down to the ultra fresh and underground 1-bit, 1 kHz world. Along the way are some fascinating stops!
6. All music is tested and verified on BOTH my really fine Phillips walkman stereo headphones AND on my Panasonic so-old-I-cant-determine-the-model analog tape deck.

At Rip Ewoff Mastering and Leatherworks, I accept product from all denominations, faiths, cults, credos, national origins, sexual orientations, planets, and even lawyers. So send me your check today!
 
charger,

thats a great offer and i look forward to working with you...i shall be sending my songs to you in an email....i will have to send them as a MS Word file as .wav files are too large......


Sincerely,

Jacques M'Dikoff
 
Sweet, I'm all over that. I have found MS Word files tend to be a little bit tinny and thin in the top end, but I can fix that with my patented ExtraPhat™ process, wherein I eat a bunch of chips and dips and drink a lot of beer and watch TV while staring at the MS Word document.
 
And if you change your MS Word files to a green font before running them through the spell checker, they sound brighter. :D

Sjoko2, hope you are feeling 100% soon!
 
By the way.......

SJOKO,
In all my ranting and raving earlier, I forgot to wish you well....
I hope your doing better...

I had all four wisdom teeth out this past feb. (And I don't mean the simple way, in a dentist chair...) I had some jaw removed and a nice little hospital stay... I know your pain..

And yours is even worse cause your hip is sore now also...


Anyway... Crack open a beer.. (Canadian beer, the real stuff, not USA Watered down piss.. ;) and rent an all girl porno.....

Better yet, rent some girls.... That'll take yer mind off of it ;)

Joe
 
Blue Bear Sound said:
Just a tip for the future....

Just some points to consider if this situation ever arises again, with anyone doing business with any of the resident pros here.....

Bruce
Click to expand...

Are we talking duck sales too? Or just mastering?


goddamn feathers FEATHERS EVERYWHERE!!

Cy
 
Sjoko..

Get well soon so you can master the CD I sent you..

You did get it, right? It's called "Praise the Pooh".. and don't forget what you told me.. "Covering it in honey's free"

Cy
 
>>>>Originally posted by sjoko2
Thanks guys.
Track Rat - re the 'praise bands' - that was my first encounter, I get the picture now. Which still leaves me amazed about how you can avocate one thing, and do the opposite. >>>>>>


everyone's made their point...just thought I'd add one last email I was able to *squeek* out of Sjoko, that makes me wonder about his above statement:


<<<Date: 7/23/01 3:18:31 AM Central Daylight Time
From: sjoerd@ngsproductions.com (Sjoko)
To: MixMkr@aol.com

Forgot to email you did I? - must have been those drugs in the '70's :(

Just send your stuff - listening costs nothing.
I'll listen to and and tell you what I could do, and perhaps what I couldn't

CD is preferable, I've never been a DAT fan.

Just send it to:
NGS Productions LLC
1575 East Valley Road
Montecito, Santa Barbara
>>>>>>>>


Best of luck to all...discussion over in my book.
Chris
 
sjoko2,

i experienced a similar surgery a few years ago...i had my jaw broken and wired together for 8 weeks...

i can attest that you definetly experience hearing problems; your equilibrium/balance is all off (inner ear) and a lot of soreness/pain...

i wish you a speedy recovery...

shag
 
Chris, as you damn well know, I DID listen to your CD, which, actually, was not badly recorded / mixed. But, you wanted to know exactly what I could do to improve your work in mastering.
That, in my book, means I have to not just listen, but upload the work into my system in order to do a proper analyses of data, jitter etc., rectify everything that needs fixing - which changes the sound / quality. Only after that can I tell you what I can do to create a balanced product. This is part of the way I master, and I would like to emphasize that most (and I mean the VAST majority) of mastering facilities don't bother with that process at all, but I do.
For your 8 songs, that would mean at least 3 hours work, then an evaluation, type that up, email it to you telling you what I think I could achieve - for you to make up your mind to pay me to master your work or not.
I decided not to do that. As I stated before, had you been someone I knew well from this forum, I might still have considered it.
That is all there is to your whole saga.

CDT - thank you for that. The broken jaw thing happened to me in '93, when I got kicked in the head by a horse. Wired, a bunch of screws to put it together, and three months of liquid food only (Puke!!). This was the (unexpected) aftermath. An abcess around 2 of the screws, which gradually got worse. I thought I was getting allergic to things, likely dust, because I was building the studio, and had bad problems with my teeth. My dentist seemed to make things worse, so I decided to go to a different dentist. 2 days later I found myself having surgery to remove five of my teeth, remove the pins and surrounding bone "clean out" as much bone as they could, including right into my sinusses, without my jaw disintegrating, and then they packed everything with bone from my hip. The aftermath? Everything you said, but multiply it. Like someone smashed you inthe face with a sledgehammer, and then stirred inside your head with a liquidizer, without a break, and that lasted for a week. Even walking was a problem.
 
to summarize:

What have we learned:
- Do not use drugs in the 70's
- Don't get kicked in the head by a horse
- Don't praise bands
- Crack open only Canadian beer (And you'll piss the watered down 'real stuff' in the USA)
- Rent only all girl porno
- Or better, rent some girls
- Human nature is remarkably consistent
- Covering 'it' (your sexual appliance) in honey's free

Valuable lessons...
 
oh... And good recovery, sjoko. But I allready said that. ;) I think.

I think?? :confused:

No I don't! :mad:
 
roel..rofl..haha..

sjoko2,

omg..the liquid diet..aggggg...only with massive amounts of liquid codine(sp?) was i able to stand it lol..a slight addiction at the time too lol...

i had those little wire clippers to cut the wires if i needed too..funny thing was (i was in the 11th grade at the time..around 85 or so) i went out drinking with a friend after 7 weeks (had 1 week b4 getting wires out) and wrecked my car..crushed my right wrist and had a cast for 8 more weeks..never thought to cut the wires but man i was stupid...i had a solid 4 months of pain lol...

then i started playing in bands and the pain intensified lol..
:D
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top