Scorched Earth (pre-demo)

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icystorm

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Greetings all:

I have been experimenting with a relatively new chord construction tool (ChordPulse 2.1), which is great for people like me with poor/limited instrument skills. I've found that it is superior to JamStudio for a couple of reasons. First, it allows for a variety of beats per measure, and it also allows one to dump chord sequences to a midi file for further work, including changing/adding instrumentation in a mixer such as Acoustica Mixcraft...

For this pre-demo, I created the basic idea for the chord structure on my rhythm guitar, then refined the chords in ChordPulse, then dumped that to a midi for further refinement in Mixcraft. It is far from finished (not even at the demo stage yet), but it gives a basic idea of what is possible with the software.

The next version at the demo stage will have more instruments, vocals, a bridge, and a fade-out, of course. :-)

Scorched Earth (early backing track).mp3

Scorched Earth
Words and music by Joseph Spain
Created with ChordPulse 2.1 and Acoustica Mixcraft 4.5
Produced by Joseph Spain
CD: Harlot's Sleeves
Pre-demo recording
Copyright: Joseph Spain 2011

Verse 1
A day may never know
What you said and how you poured it all on me
When I lived for you
I breathed for you
I thought I knew you well
I came to know your hell

Verse 2
The night may never find
What we did and how you poured yourself on me
When I longed for you
I died for you
Your summer melts the sun

Chorus
I chased your fire's song
I breathed your love too long
Now I feed the flames of your scorched earth

Verse 3
My heart may never know
Why you bared your soul or pled your lies to me
When I lived for you
I cared for you
I thought I knew you well
You sent my soul to hell

Verse 4
When your end arrives
You will find that you're alone and lost inside
Still I pray for you
I wait for you
beyond your final storm
 
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Interesting chord progressions mate. The bass instrument is a little annoying - or rather the effcets on it.
I tries to imagine you singing this but couldn't get a melody in my skull though the words certainly seem to sit well in the structure on a syllable/beat/metre level.
I look forward to the next step.
 
Thanks for the encouraging words, Ray. Yeah, that bass effect is a little annoying. I'll change that.

Cheers,
Joseph
 
I like what you've got so far. It moves well, and I can kind of see where the important notes in the melody are going to go. I kept picturing Axl Rose singing it (like "Estranged" or "November Rain") because of your lyrics. YMMV, of course :)

David
 
Thanks. Of all the Guns n Roses songs, I think I liked November Rain the best.

Cheers,
Joseph
 
Thanks much, Emma! I see that was your first post, so welcome to the forum! Please tell us a little about yourself.

This is a great place to learn and socialize with other songwriters of varying skill levels. I'm just a novice songwriter and primarily a learner, but there are some very talented musicians and songwriters here. There are even occasional songwriting "challenges" of different types on the forum.

Based on earlier feedback from rayc, I removed the annoying bass from the first cast of the song. I also layered in an acoustic guitar and an orchestral synth.

Here is the new cast (and the old one is still up for comparison to the new cast)...

Second cast (latest): Scorched Earth (early backing track 2).mp3

First cast (original): Scorched Earth (early backing track).mp3

Now I will get to work on the bridge. :-)

Cheers,
Joseph
 
Nice development. The distratction of that bass effect is gone & the replacement is simple but all that is necessary at this stage.
Take me to the bridge...
 
Nice chord pattern.... it'll "work" a bit better when you get a more complex drum treatment going instead of just the same beat all the way through. That will emphaise the changes better.

So far so good..
 
Armistice said:
Nice chord pattern.... it'll "work" a bit better when you get a more complex drum treatment going instead of just the same beat all the way through. That will emphaise the changes better.

So far so good..
Click to expand...

Thanks, Armistice. I agree with your comment about the drum machine beats.

BTW, I have been listening to some of your more recent material with the Jongleurs. Good stuff and very original!

Cheers,
Joseph
 
icystorm said:
Thanks, Armistice. I agree with your comment about the drum machine beats.

BTW, I have been listening to some of your more recent material with the Jongleurs. Good stuff and very original!

Cheers,
Joseph
Click to expand...

Thanks man... hope to have a new song up there in a week or so, or at least a better recording of an old one...

Nice to know someone clicked that banner!
 
You bet! Keep us posted when the new song is finished (or revamped). I will definitely listen.

Cheers,
Joseph
 
rayc said:
Nice development. The distratction of that bass effect is gone & the replacement is simple but all that is necessary at this stage.
Take me to the bridge...
Click to expand...

Thanks, Ray.

I added the bridge this morning and this afternoon and rounded out the song's general structure through the end.

Scorched Earth (early backing track 3).mp3

At barely 3 minutes, this is my shortest song ever. The chorus is quite succinct and to the point and I didn't use a middle to seperate the chorus from the beginning of the next sequence of verses as I usually do, which explains the relative brevity. The use of a middle piece didn't seem necessarily supportive in this song, so I left it out, but I may rethink that eventually.

I also removed a couple of short sections at the end of the verses that seemed too redundant. That necessitated a change in the lyrics. While I was mucking around with that, I changed additional lyrics too, mainly in verse 4.

I'm still not entirely satisfied with the lyrics in verse 4, so I may revisit that as well.

I'll work on varying the drums next and adding the vocals, of course.

Cheers,
Joseph

---l y r i c s-----

Scorched Earth
Words and music by Joseph Spain
Created with ChordPulse 2.1 and Acoustica Mixcraft 4.5
Produced by Joseph Spain
CD: Harlot's Sleeves
Demo recording
Copyright: Joseph Spain 2011

Verse 1
A day may never know
What you said and how you poured it all on me
When I lived for you
You know I breathed for you
I thought I knew you well

Verse 2
The night may never find
What we did and how you poured yourself on me
When I longed for you
You know I died for you
Our summers melt the sun

Chorus
I chased your fire's song
I breathed your love too long
Now I feed the flames of your scorched earth

Verse 3
My heart may never know
Why you bared your soul or pled your lies to me
When I lived for you
You know I cared for you
I thought I knew you well

Verse 4
The dark will never hide
The tears you cry when you're alone in the moonlight
While I wait for you
And God I pray for you
beyond your final storm
(repeat chorus)

Bridge
Chance calls fate
Is love a sin by any other name to you
Will your darkness claim me
Please hold me in your heart forever
(repeat chorus through fade)
 
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SEDstar said:
hi icy!

sounds good... I like, I like...
Click to expand...

Thanks, my friend! I'm out on the road now at a conference, so I haven't had any time to work on it for a couple of weeks or add the vox.

I have been adjusting the lyrics a bit, and I included the latest below. I think I am finally content with verse 4.

Cheers,
Joseph

---lyrics---

Scorched Earth
Words and music by Joseph Spain
Created with ChordPulse 2.1 and Acoustica Mixcraft 4.5
Produced by Joseph Spain
CD: Harlot's Sleeves
Demo recording
Copyright: Joseph Spain 2011

Verse 1
A day may never know
What you said and how you poured it all on me
When I lived for you
I only breathed for you
I thought I knew you well

Verse 2
A night may never find
What we did or how you poured yourself on me
When I longed for you
For every part of you
Your summer melts the sun

Chorus 1
I chased your fire's song
I breathed your love too long
Now I feed the flames of your scorched earth

Verse 3
My heart may never know
Why you bared your soul or pled your lies to me
When I lived for you
Inside I bled for you
I thought I knew you well

Verse 4
You hands will never dry
The tears you cry when you're alone in the moonlight
While I wait for you
To God I pray for you
Beyond your final storm

Chorus 2
I chased your fire's song
(every day I lived for you)
I breathed your love too long
(every second adored you)
Now I feed the flames of your scorched earth

Bridge
Chance calls fate
Is love a sin by any other name to you
Will your darkness claim me
Please hold me in your heart forever
(repeat chorus 2 through fade)
 
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I agree with Ray that the words have a nice built in meter/rhythm to them. I'm sure you will do a great job joining them to the music.
 
Joseph,
I've only just discovered & listened to the modified backing. You've built a solid bridge and been over it!
It works well mate. Keep me posted.
 
Very impressive work there icystorm. You've inspired me to write in another way. Can't wait to hear the next step.
 
rayc said:
Joseph,
I've only just discovered & listened to the modified backing. You've built a solid bridge and been over it!
It works well mate. Keep me posted.
Click to expand...

Thanks much for listening and your comments, Ray! I've been immersed in work and away from my music, but I hope to record the vox soon.

Cheers,
Joseph
 
That-Guy-Tom said:
Very impressive work there icystorm. You've inspired me to write in another way. Can't wait to hear the next step.
Click to expand...

Thanks much for listening and the kind words, my friend. Let us hear a sample of your work when you can.

My wife and I used to live in Katy, BTW. Good area!

Cheers,
Joseph
 
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