Heaven on Earth

sideSister

New member
This is the second song we've set out to mix ourselves, Aelyth and I. It's a poppy little number (as in "pop music" not "opium poppy") with contrasting themes and textures between the verses, the choruses, the instrumental.

THIS IS THE LINK >> Box

We would welcome honest criticism. We prefer bruises to snoozes. Honest!

Kill your instant gratification
End your wealth accumulation
Lose your self determination
Now, now's the time

Dump your self justification
Slay your race identification
Waste your digital information
Now, now's the time

Heaven on earth won't wait for money
Heaven on earth is not a crime
Heaven on earth is in your future
Let it shine

Void your class discrimination
Break up the state, break every nation
Kill every contraindication
Now, now's the time

Zap your ego medication
Lose your moral constipation
Death to your procrastination
Now, now's the time

Heaven on earth is no religion
Heaven on earth will make you sing
Heaven on earth is reaching for you
Let it in

Cancel intensification
End the marketing masturbation
Vacate your gentrification
Now, now's the time

Crave a future of elation
Choose truth, not obfuscation
Seize the hope and love equation
Now, now's the time

Heaven on earth will give you shelter
Heaven on earth is there for you
Heaven on earth is your tomorrow
Let it through

Heaven on earth is no illusion
Heaven on earth will bring you home
Heaven on earth awaits your answer
Let it shine
 

Manslick

Road
I listened to this through my big screen television. I noticed that the vocal effects you have sounded to me like a bee ? in a tin coffee can. Otherwise very enjoyable listen. Very catchy.
 

Mickster

Well-known member
Yes....the tune is catchy. The bass part is really nice? Was it played...programmed? The main vocal is too difficult to understand and might contribute to some people hitting the stop button early on. The refrain "now's the time" is clear and works VERY well........but the other vocals are difficult to catch without some effort. Just my 2 cents of course........and that's all my opinion is likely worth.
 

sideSister

New member
Yes....the tune is catchy. The bass part is really nice? Was it played...programmed? The main vocal is too difficult to understand and might contribute to some people hitting the stop button early on. The refrain "now's the time" is clear and works VERY well........but the other vocals are difficult to catch without some effort. Just my 2 cents of course........and that's all my opinion is likely worth.

Like the "bee in a tin" comment, I understand the issue with the verse vocals. We've tried with and without the vocoder, but the vocoder does work better. Maybe we should look for a better vocoder (currently using Waves' Morphoder).

I'm assuming the comments about the vocals are targeted at the verses; but do you see the chorus "Heaven on earth ..." vocals as a problem area too?

The bass in the verses is a four string. In the chorus it's a sequenced synth.

I'll ponder ''verse vocal intelligibility.
 

sideSister

New member
We've reworked the verse vocals. Currently each verse is in a slightly different arrangement; if you have a favourite out of the three, let me know. We've also given the drums a bit more life, broadened the stereo width, tweaked various levels, had lunch.

VERSEION 2 >> Box
 

alphasinbeta

New member
I really dig this. I've heard songs use similar vocoder effects where it's not very intelligible, but it works. So maybe try tweaking it or just stand by your choice. Or do a dual vocal line approach where one is more clean and the other effected. Might be nice to just offset the clean one a little bit so they are more distinct yet fit together well. This track has a great sense of when to change it up. I was never bored.

Okay... The lyrics verge on the side of rhyming just to rhyme. This song is very positive and I'll never trash something coming from a positive place, but it gets a bit cliche is spots... BUT I would argue that the vocoder effect sells it. I read the lyrics and THEN hit play, expecting to hear a very upfront and clean hippie type thing. So that was a pleasant surprise.

The drums are not working for me, though. I want to at least hear half of the song have a more slapping or slamming snare sound. It might be nice to keep the verses with what you have, then go for a bigger, brighter snare sound on the choruses. I could see even something like breakbeats or drumloops working with this track.

Thanks for making my day with a really interesting recording!
 
Like the guitar tone alot-at times in the song it's there but i really have to strain to hear it..
nice bass sound
the understated drums work-i would maybe bring out the snare a bit with some top end
the vocoder effect is almost there-too hard to make out words-almost sounds sybillant
Great chorus-love the melody and bopping bass with those flute stabs.
Nice break down-i would have have verbed the flute-they sound slightly shrill to me-i would have gone full ethereal there-really cool section
awesome transposing the melody very clever-around 3:00 and onwards the melody climbs but the music almost seems to lose energy? I would have added more stuff with each climb
I think it's a great song-i like the attention to arrangement and the chorus melody is excellent.
Mix has a great vibe that could sound otherworldly in the right hands

*edit to add-my opinions are of the first version-
**edit again this group uses vocoders maybe something to compare to

YouTube
 
Last edited:

SteveAlton

New member
Great mix...I do like the drums on this only because it keeps the tune poppy and happy and light. Don't fuck with em
 
Top